....but the fighter still remains.....

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Boxer17, Jun 23, 2017.

  1. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Just wondering if you're serious about this. It is so hurtful to yourself to call yourself a sinner. Hope your main motivation to overcome this addiction is still love.
     
  2. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Greetings all. Working very long hours. Trying to put away as much money as possible while I can still work. Almost 66 with not much set aside for retirement.
    (Causing me more than a little anxiety):confused:

    Still fighting the fight. Mostly successful. Get knocked around from time to time.
    I know this struggle with self is a headwind I will have to lean into all my life.
    Peace and warm regards to all,
    Boxer
     
  3. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    I sometimes wonder if boredom and aimlessness are catalysts for P viewing.
    For example if I am really engaged with something P has little pull on me. When I am bored and start to surf the net I often find myself in trouble. :rolleyes:
    I am finding during this whole virus thing I am watching it and it's impact and P viewing has taken more of a back seat in my mind
    This is probably too simplistic:D
    Any thoughts?
     
  4. nuclpow

    nuclpow Active Member

    Oh yeah. We all have our pathways for porn, being bored and alone is a catalyst for a lot of us. I think it's not simplistic, the Your Brain on Porn website has information, I forget where, on default situations that lead us to porn.

    I haven't read most of your journal. Do you have filtering on your computers? Have you got other things to do when bored such as streaming television or volunteering or a hobby or something? Take care.
     
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  5. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Yeah definitely. You need a goal and keep your face in the right direction. If you don't keep moving in a certain direction you'll be food for predators like porn . . .
     
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  6. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hi Nuclpow. No I don't have any filtering. I would just go around it. :confused: it would be like hiding cookies from myself in the house. I would search till I found them. Likewise I would circumvent the filters.
    Aimlessness is worse for me than boredom. Sometimes nothing is appealing I do have a pretty extensive music collection on mp3 that I enjoy organizing and editing.
    Sometimes watching a movie will help. Or a project around the house.
    Sometimes if I can distract myself for even 10 minutes it will derail the thought pattern that leads down the rabbit hole
    Thanks for reading and responding
    Boxer
     
  7. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Ya got that right;)
     
  8. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    I am afraid. I think this old world is approaching the cliff. We are in the throes of this coronamania. The world's teetering economy is being flooded with untold trillions in cash.
    Somethings fixing to happen
    I am having trouble focusing on work. I just stare out the window seemingly in a trance.
    Sorry about this post. I know it's off the theme of this site. I just need to do something
    Boxer
     
  9. nuclpow

    nuclpow Active Member

    I know what you mean but I still want to bug you about it because it's so effective for me (and for others). I haven't seriously tried to circumvent my filters for a long time, but when I do, and I'm in the process of it I keep asking myself "Is this what you really want to do? Do you want to be a pornography addict until you die, because that's what these filters are helping with?" I realise that sooner in my porn-quitting journey filtering worked less than it did now, but it was still better than nothing.

    But maybe you're not at that stage yet.
     
  10. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    IMO this is exactly the theme of this site. Quitting porn doesn't work if we don't accept our feelings and express ourselves.....
     
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  11. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Years ago when I was struggling with my sense of self identity, a friend of mine reminded me that God doesn't make junk:)
     
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  12. GreyHeron

    GreyHeron Active Member

    Sometimes, Yes they are and in my experience the catalyst can come from elsewhere. As an example I can be overcome with a sense of entitlement and then I might give myself permission to search the catalogue for a woman to meet that need. It is wrong but that is how I work.

    Peace and every good
     
  13. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Yes.....ive had that happen as well:confused:
     
  14. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I've actually told my wife and daughter not to talk about the "latest" Covid news. It can really do one's head in listening to all the doom and gloom. But, great changes only happen during times of trial and so perhaps we will come out the better for all this...who knows? There are many cities in the world that are getting vistas that the population hasn't seen in many decades, all because cars are off the streets. It's kind of like a PMO addiction, isn't it? The particulate matter in our neurons is so viscous that we can't see the good stuff anymore, the real things. We have our own internal mountains to see once the fog clears. :)
     
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  15. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Great observation, Saville:)
     
  16. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Thanks for the reply Saville,NCBob, Gil79.
    I'm not afraid of the virus per se. This crazy societal response just makes me angry. It seems like too many have read Stephen King's "The Stand"
    From what I can see covid 19 is like a really bad flu. And I don't want to diminish it's meanness.

    So far this season, the CDC estimates between 39 million and 55 million flu illnesses, at least 400,000 hospitalizations, and as many as 63,000 deaths from flu, of which 162 are pediatric.
    To date covid 19 has under 25,000. That is a painful number true. But, relative to other causes of death why are we bringing the world to a grinding halt because of this virus?
    How many will die because of this shutdown? How many cancers will go undiagnosed? How much misery?

    I don't like a government shutting down our civil liberties. I don't like printing Untold trillions of dollars.
    I see a Bad Moon Rising. The type of bad moon that is going to engulf the globe.
    This virus, and world's government's response to it, to my reading of things, is setting up the world for Seismic changes.
    All this is what makes me afraid


    Boxer :confused:
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2020
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  17. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    The more lethal virus, is the fear hidden beneath the surface. If we don't own it, it own us...
     
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  18. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I hear ya. It feels surreal, like the world lost its mind all at once. As I see it, it's part of continuing social experiment of the human species. Now that we don't live in villages anymore we are at the mercy of all global events. Even our best minds are muddling through this and, I have to believe, most are doing so with good intentions. A good time to reassess what all this means to us personally, I reckon.
     
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  19. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hello gentlemen. I trust all is well with each of you today.
    I am still in the game. I am in a strange stage of life.
    I am just going through the motions of life without really being engaged in anything.
    Just treading water.
    I just had a physical. Things came back well for the most part.
    Staying away from p subs for the most part.
    My real weakness is seeing women in public. I get a dopamine rush that causes me to shiver:eek::oops:
    No MO
    I Have marital relations about every 3 weeks. (wash, rinse,repeat...)

    Trying to be a decent person
    Warm regards
    Boxer
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2020
  20. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Member

    Hi Boxer, from what I’ve gathered, it isreally good to have something that we are heavily engaged with to help us with the reboot process. PMO is often used to cover up a feeling a lack or emptiness, or in an attempt to give us some sort of meaning. PMO becomes a purpose in life. As it starts to lose its hold over us, I think it is important have something to take its place to provide a sense of meaning and purpose.

    I don’t know what that would be for you, but I might be increadily benefical and rewarding to explore what it might be,
     
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