Bruce Wayne's Journal - Fixing the Broken Bat

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by BruceWayne, Jan 16, 2014.

  1. Rebel

    Rebel Active Member

    Sorry to hear that mate.
    But you are just proving that anyone could keep trying for 20+ years. Every time I swear it's the last. But it's never the last. I am not saying that I'm giving up. I am trying my best. But I know that I am going relapse sooner or later. I know that the last time is never there and I will keep coming back. I am just accepting the fact that I may never be able to be porn free. It's better than living in the delusion of this is last time.
    But you're right, we're still better than many people who think porn is "healthy" and prevents prostate cancer. We should never stop fighting even though we know that our failure is imminent.
  2. raccoon

    raccoon New Member

    I didn't wanted to quit that hard before last 4 years. I felt that it's not healthy for my mentality, but the last 4 years I tried, failed, then tried again not to watch porn, then I had depression and everything started over. Now I decided I will force myself to not to fap and I want to fight with my every bones, even if it's burning inside. In the end it is worth, even if you can achieve one more day without fapping. If you can stop fap for example 3 days, then go for 4 or even more, but try not to do less than the last goal! The point is to keep yourself pushing, you will be surprised how far you can go! Just try it, bro! : )
    Rebel likes this.
  3. Rebel

    Rebel Active Member

    Good luck raccoon! Stay strong!
    raccoon likes this.
  4. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    I have been in recovery for a long time and from experience, I can advise you that many never really outgrow the addiction. It is something that we have to watch out for in the long term. There might be periods where the addiction lies in dormancy. A healthy relationship might even strengthen our recovery, but nevertheless, the temptation to use porn will always be there. We can only ever be sober one day at a time. Believe it or not 9 years is relatively short compared to some guys who I have met in their 60s who have been addicted for their whole life. The key point to remember though is that it doesn't matter how long we have been addicted for, there is always hope and a path to recovery. If you include masturbation as part of the picture, I was acting out for a period of about 10 years or so before I built up lasting sobriety. I have seen many others as well in the SAA fellowship recover with much longer years of active addiction than mine.
    Rebel likes this.
  5. Rebel

    Rebel Active Member

    Thanks for the reply.

    I really hope I could make it out of this shit hole just like you did.
  6. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Hey Bruce

    You don't need me to tell you but it seems like your tastes are escalating, which is not exactly a good sign. I must sound painfully obvious but you should take action now rather than later, before things escalate even further. It's a good thing however that you can look back and see yourself growing as a person, that's probably the most important thing in this business. Reaching 90 days or whataver amount of days without porn would mean little if you were the exact same person by the end of it, living the same lifestyle that drives you to porn.

    Have you considered what usually pushes you into consuming pornography? For me it's mostly boredom; feeling like everything else is so dull that porn is the only thing that can distract me from the dullness of real life. Anxiety plays a part too, if I'm feeling insecure about something I often use porn as a momentary escape. What are your relapsing scenarios, and what can you do to avoid them?

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