bright_eyes' Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by bright_eyes, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    I suppose I need my own thread. Some things don't belong on others' threads. Nothing to report after just a few days PMO-free.
     
  2. J22

    J22 New Member

    A few days are good my man
     
  3. heavyd

    heavyd I'm swearing off porn dammit.

    Good job bright eyes and good luck on your journey...
     
  4. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Welcome to the family. You've got a small army of great guys that are here to help you. Be prepared, your life is about to get much, much, BETTER!
     
  5. youngoldie

    youngoldie Onwards comrades - we have to go back!

    Welcome here!

    And tell a litte more about you and your needs.

    Manch on and stay strong!
     
  6. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    I've posted quite a bit, albeit on others' threads. It started to feel like I was beginning to hijack some of those threads, so I started my own.

    Had a job interview yesterday. It was a job for which I'm clearly not a strong candidate due to lacking some recent experience in the field. Indeed, it surprised me that I got called for an interview.

    At any rate, I don't think I got the job, nor would I hire myself for the job if I were the hiring manager. Perhaps because of this awareness, I didn't really feel down after the interview. I believe I have at times in the past. Job interviews are one of those things that can make you feel like you're being judged, or somehow not good enough.

    Instead of coming home, feeling bad, and bingeing on porn, I came home, played around on various safe websites (news, motorcycles, YBR, etc.) for a while, and then went to bed early. Woke up this morning feeling good. I won't speak for others, but I find value in spending significant time on this site each day. Maybe I'll spend less time in the future, but for now, it seems to help keep the urges away, and it gives me the chance to support my struggling brothers.

    P.S. I can't help but think that my interview performance was much stronger at several days clean than it would have been had I jerked to porn the night before. It's quite a comforting thought to know that just a few days clean can improve your performance in relatively stressful situations like job interviews. The benefits of being porn-free continue to accrue.
     
  7. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    Thinking back, I often jerked in the morning before going to play pool in the afternoon. I often lost.

    Today, with 7 days clean, I went to that pool hall and dominated. Shakey porno eyes be gone!

    So I think I've discovered another reason to quit porn: Improved athletic performance. What do you think? Has anyone seen similar improvement at golf, baseball, or anything else involving the eyes/hands/coordination?

    (Edited to fix one small typo: changed "quite" to "quit".)
     
  8. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    My music seems to be better, flows more easily.
     
  9. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    The only times I've slipped have been times when I neglected my involvment here.
     
  10. needtoohigh

    needtoohigh New Member

    Hang in there my brother! 8 Days is AWESOME! Stay strong as you are and keep on keeping on! I look forward to my day 8 that's for sure!
     
  11. youngoldie

    youngoldie Onwards comrades - we have to go back!

    About athletic performance: I avoided any kind of sport the last 20 years. But now I have started tabata training, even if I'm somehow crippled from anaccident. And my violin play improved drastcally...
     
  12. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Good going bright eyes!

    Amazing start you have going!!!
     
  13. Confused

    Confused New Member

    Your thinking is clearer and with focus on real things - I think it could attribute to better performance? Keep going............be strong!
     
  14. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    Already procrastinating a lot less. Long-neglected things are getting done. Man, that porno habit sure did take up a lot of time. And it apparently sapped my drive/ambition.
     
  15. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    Disclaimer: I am absolutely NOT recommending my method for others. It is very possible that my method is extremely flawed and may eventually result in significant negative consequences.

    In the interest of full disclosure, I should explain my goals, as referenced in my counter. "Since I last looked at P" is self-explanatory. This is my primary goal, to stop looking at or thinking about porno imagery. The second part of my counter "Since MO without partner's assistance" is the part that requires some explanation. You do not have to agree with it. I am not sure that I do myself!

    At any rate, I am allowing myself to masturbate with my partner's assistance. Currently located on different sides of our country, I called her at the weekend and we engaged in a scenario where we imagined we were making love. I thought only about her, and was successful in not conjuring up any porno imagery. This was one relatively short portion of a fairly long call.

    If I could, I would add a third line to my counter that would now read "1 day and 12 hours since MO with partner's assistance." But I have not found a way to add that third line. Then again, I haven't really wrestled with the counter. It may still be possible, but it's a project for a different day.

    I hope I have clarified where I'm at. There is a lot of honesty here, and I did not want to misrepresent the truth. I am not attempting to avoid occasional masturbation, subject to the condition that it requires the participation of my significant other. I am 100% determined to NOT masturbate on my own, with or without porno imagery on a screen or in my brain.

    I recognize that my method may result in failure to acquire certain benefits that come with total abstinence from masturbation. And I readily admit that it is a much easier path to follow in that it requires considerably less self-discipline. Nevertheless, this is my way for now. My plan is to transition to total non-masturbation as soon as my significant other and I are physically together.

    Note: I recently spent a month with my significant other, and found it quite easy to completely avoid masturbation during our time together.
     
  16. Confused

    Confused New Member

    no porn is the goal......there are different approaches - what ever works is the key. Just be sure it doesn't turn into a trigger - be strong!
     
  17. youngoldie

    youngoldie Onwards comrades - we have to go back!

    From what I red, I learned that the length of time one is edging (masturbating close to orgasm) also contibutes to the impact on the rebooting process.

    And as well an unusual suggestion for you: If you have phone sex with your partner, just give yourself many gentle strokes all over your body - just as the other will do to you. That may release some soothening oxytocin and the situation is somehow nearer to real sex. I had times when I felt down I used to caress myself in that way and it comforted me.
     
  18. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    Interesting. Since I stopped the porn, I am getting some important long-procrastinated projects done. More time spent on these projects means little time to think about porn. Twelve days is not a long time, but it seems like a long time ago that I was in that miserable porn pit. It seems so insane when I think back on it.
     
  19. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    I know, it's amazing how liberating it is.
     
  20. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    I must say that I never thought about it that way until you mentioned it like that. It's like being in a very lonely prison of one's own construction. If someone tried to take away my life, I would fight them to the death. But for porn, I willingly--even eagerly--gave my life away. It really was completely and utterly insane.

    At least, I would like to be able to use that excuse. But I have no actual insanity in my brain. Rather, I am realizing it was a character flaw. I chose to lock myself up alone in a room and jerk to porno imagery on a screen. I knew it was wrong the whole time. I guess I just didn't appreciate until recently how terribly wrong it was.

    <a href="http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=2404.msg106180#msg106180">"As a man that has heard the gavel of his own divorce hearing more than once..."</a> You the Man, LTE.
     

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