I mentioned in my last update about seeing my ex with a new partner and how bitter a pill that was too me. The last 48 hours I’ve completely gone into my emotions and eat away at them and I can thankfully say I felt better somewhat. What’s put me next level is doing something I should have done long ago and deleted all trace of contact in my phone - from mobile number, text massage, WhatsApp and any other method. In addition to that I’ve also deleted a ton of photos I held onto for memories sakes. I can’t begin to describe the weight off my shoulders that’s left me, which I had no idea was there. Such simple acts as shutting contact down with no explanation has made me feel on top of the world for the time being. Truth be told seems I’ve been holding onto her one day getting back in touch and us rekindling the flame, we’ve talked here and there as we had an amicable break up and said we’d remain friendly but only because I initiate each time. Each time I also notice there would be less of a conversation and sometimes I wouldn’t even get a response back if I’m asked to update about my life and respond what I’m doing these days. So there’s been a long time of silence until I saw her with the new partner. Of course once more my understanding is my approval seeking which goes back to my parents, at the end of the day I need to see her in the light that she’s just a person, nothing pedestal awarding or special and has plenty of faults believe me - one being she’d argue till the cows come home over being right about stuff to come out on top and frankly can be an entitled brat who demands the world and gives no where near back. In retrospect it’s a relationship, despite loving her , that was far to up and down and we both did the right thing calling it off. Although whilst the love won’t go away, I can see it’s a love that comes from being treated like how my parents would treat me at times and that’s really the love I’ve got to stop looking for. have a great remainder of the week everyone.