Break on through to the other side

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Gil79, Feb 16, 2019.

  1. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Daily Health Monitoring:
    FPMO: 6/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 0/10
    Approval seeking: 1/10
    Assertiveness: 8/10
    Time for self: 6/10
    Healthy food: 8/10
    Excercise: 7/10
    Phone use: 3/10
    Intimacy wife: 4/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 4/10
    Interaction with men: 2/10
    Mindfulness: 3/10
     
  2. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Note to self (stern, but with self-love):
    STOP FANTASIZING!!! :mad:
     
  3. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Ugh... I'll have a look as well, but looks scary anyway.... Will search for another solution I think then :oops:
     
  4. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Seems like you're doing quite well - interesting use of statistics there, do you find it useful?

    Keep going!
     
  5. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Daily Health Monitoring (yesterday):
    FPMO: 6/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 0/10
    Approval seeking: 3/10
    Assertiveness: 7/10
    Time for self: 5/10
    Healthy food: 6/10
    Excercise: 6/10
    Phone use: 5/10
    Intimacy wife: 2/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 4/10
    Interaction with men: 3/10
    Mindfulness: 3/10

    Lot of fantasies again last night, then watching porn and then more fantasies. Masturbation with it. No O because it would make me feel worse today. But still an 'acting-out' hangover. I had urges lasr night. I was so well aware of the consequences (and how well I would feel if I would not act out), but still chose to fuck up. Daily health monitoring FPMO will be 7/10. Will do this monitoring at end of this day.

    I think I will consult my physician anyway about it. But also nog very keen to do this. Will keep you informed.


    So nice to hear from you! What a surprise! Will check your journal now. Despite the struggle with porn I am doing well and I think that when I start sleeping better and have more time for myself again I will better be able to deal with FPMO as well. Maybe that is an excuse. Dont know. Anyway, the health monitoring is nice. It helps me be aware of my behaviour and I can just grade my acting our without having to call it a relapse. Monitoring instead of judging.
     
  6. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Daily Health Monitoring (yesterday):
    FPMO: 7/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 0/10
    Approval seeking: 0/10
    Assertiveness: 8/10
    Time for self: 6/10
    Healthy food: 7/10
    Excercise: 7/10
    Phone use: 5/10
    Intimacy wife: 2/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 4/10
    Interaction with men: 2/10
    Mindfulness: 3/10

    Despite the FPM I had a really good day yesterday. Happy, energetic and interactive. By the end of the day I was very tired again though. Watched some porn again, but was more disgusted than aroused. Later in bed more FM. Got to stop this.
     
  7. GreyHeron

    GreyHeron Active Member

    I went to the vets when No. 2 was young, the chronic pain was something I worried about. With or without the Vasectomy I risk chronic pain after edging, I know stop edging then, so I did not relish that. Hopefully I will not jinx myself but I have dodged the chronic pain for the most part. Mrs Heron uses the fear of triggering the edging pain as a reason not to start something she cannot finish.
    I was hoping that my wife would relax more with me not releasing potent goo, I also wondered if that would become a liberation to run free. Our issues run to more that whether or not I am going to make a baby, so it has made little impact on that and when I objectify on the street I often think of using the chat-up line "Want a good quality stud for your next child?" before realising that is the mis-selling of goods and services. hahaha.

    Soar Well

    Grey Heron
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  8. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    :D Thanks for your reply!
     
  9. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Really good day today. Thankful for what I got.

    Daily Health Monitoring:
    FPMO: 7/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 0/10
    Approval seeking: 0/10
    Assertiveness: 8/10
    Time for self: 6/10
    Healthy food: 7/10
    Excercise: 7/10
    Phone use: 5/10
    Intimacy wife: 2/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 4/10
    Interaction with men: 2/10
    Mindfulness: 3/10
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  10. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Hey Gil,

    your self-pity & blaming and approval seeking categories are interesting.
    certainly a set of behaviours to be aware of

    let's move forward
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  11. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    1. This really helps. I am not saying that I cant but just monitoring for being aware. That on itself helps me to avoid it.


    Daily Health Monitoring:
    FPMO: 9/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 0/10
    Approval seeking: 0/10
    Assertiveness: 8/10
    Time for self: 6/10
    Healthy food: 7/10
    Excercise: 7/10
    Phone use: 6/10
    Intimacy wife: 1/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 2/10
    Interaction with men: 3/10
    Mindfulness: 3/10

    As you may have suspected, I PMOed. Lot to write about it, but exhausted and going to sleep. Feeling good though. Goodnight.
     
  12. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Goodnight as well. Have rest and please get back on the horse directly, binging won't help
    Take care dear @Gil79
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  13. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Thanks man. I am OK and won't binge.

    Daily Health Monitoring:
    FPMO: 0/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 2/10
    Approval seeking: 2/10
    Assertiveness: 7/10
    Time for self: 6/10
    Healthy food: 6/10
    Excercise: 7/10
    Phone use: 6/10
    Intimacy wife: 1/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 2/10
    Interaction with men: 3/10
    Mindfulness: 3/10
     
    Thelongwayhome27 and Outsider. like this.
  14. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Daily Health Monitoring:
    FPMO: 0/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 0/10
    Approval seeking: 0/10
    Assertiveness: 7/10
    Time for self: 6/10
    Healthy food: 6/10
    Excercise: 6/10
    Phone use: 5/10
    Intimacy wife: 1/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 4/10
    Interaction with men: 6/10
    Mindfulness: 3/10

    Grateful for: my 3 children, the most beautiful human beings in the world

    What I need most right now: sleep
     
  15. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Daily Health Monitoring:
    FPMO: 0/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 0/10
    Approval seeking: 0/10
    Assertiveness: 8/10
    Time for self: 8/10
    Healthy food: 8/10
    Excercise: 8/10
    Phone use: 2/10
    Intimacy wife: 3/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 2/10
    Interaction with men: 2/10
    Mindfulness: 6/10
    Positive attitude towards others: 5/10

    Grateful for: living in a country with workers rights giving me so much time to spend with my family.

    What I need most right now: breath deeply
     
  16. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    I think you're daily monitoring scale is a great tool and I really like you're latest addition of "What I need most right now".

    You seem to have been doing well on the assertiveness in the last weeks. That's good stuff.

    Keep up the good fight !
     
  17. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Thanks @Thelongwayhome27. It is interesting that by really thinking how I am doing every day, I seem to be doing a lot better than I actually thought. I tend to focus on the negative and I think this helps me to be a bit more realistic.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  18. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Daily Health Monitoring:
    FPMO: 0/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 1/10
    Approval seeking: 0/10
    Assertiveness: 8/10
    Time for self: 6/10
    Healthy food: 8/10
    Excercise: 7/10
    Phone use: 2/10
    Intimacy wife: 1/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 2/10
    Interaction with men: 6/10
    Mindfulness: 4/10
    Positive attitude towards others: 5/10

    Grateful for: the beautiful autumn coming back.

    What I need most right now: time for self


    Have to work on intimacy with my wife..... it is so easy to do. Just have to do it.
     
  19. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yes, it is. We just have to reach out.
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  20. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Things are slowly getting more stable. Babies almost 6 months now. From survival mode into finding a new pattern. Had to pick up some stuff in another town today and had some time for myself. Such a great feeling. I am doing well. I feel blessed.

    Daily Health Monitoring:
    FPMO: 0/10
    Self-pity & blaming: 1/10
    Approval seeking: 0/10
    Assertiveness: 8/10
    Time for self: 7/10
    Healthy food: 6/10
    Excercise: 6/10
    Phone use: 2/10
    Intimacy wife: 1/10
    Perceive world as threatening: 2/10
    Interaction with men: 6/10
    Mindfulness: 4/10
    Positive attitude towards others: 5/10

    Grateful for: having a place to live with my family.

    What I need most right now: talk to my friend T. He is a good friend of mine and I have not been there for him lately. And I need the male contact. I miss it to have someone to talk to and share stuff that I don't want to share with my wife or colleagues. But first I will close my eyes and sleep for a couple of hours....
     
    Pete McVries and Bezoechow like this.

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