Brand New Life

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Wise Hermit, Oct 19, 2019.

  1. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    I guess this kind of journal is needed to keep myself more motivated. Just recently turned 25, so a good forum to start this journey.

    I have pdf with over 150 pages collection of people's results on various range of no pmo from this website. Randomly found it like 2 month ago on Google/reddit while in search of self improvement material, and saved. First looked skeptical, especially because half of the improvements I already had from meditation which helped a lot to change my personality but smth made me check out this pdf from day to day.
    (today I found the link to this place on page 143 btw)

    About a month ago I watched a video on scientifical explanation to pmo refusal and it has been decided since.

    Past month was a month of learning self discipline and feeling like shit after each relapse. But some streaks, like the one with 1.5 week, helped to see the proof of effects existence. I felt like with superpowers. Half of them came out of nowhere and half were the boost to my new personality which I created under recurring meditation and self analysis, but couldn't hold due to weak focus everyday. 1.5 week streak also happened right before a big party where I noticed my friends, especially girls, approaching me all the time which is amazing since I'm like 5-6 by looks and could be pretty much annoying with my problems before.

    The relapses were still a problem though but recently I gave it a long thought, boosted by motivation from reddit's nofap community, and made clear conclusions for myself.

    Thus, I purposefully relapsed on 14th of October, like a goodbye relapse, and planning on holding for a long amazing streak with the purpose of creating Brand New Life for myself.

    Hope my future posts can give some motivation to the folks who are close to mine state of mind.

    Ooo, I also stopped smoking ciggs 2 days ago to make larger health effect along with no pmo but not sure how long vaping can entertain me.

    That's it for the start
     
  2. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    Hi there Wise Hermit,


    Welcome to the forums. Battling a (porn) addiction is something everybody does on his or her own terms. I hope you find tools for your solutions, and as one of the tools that has been shared here many times I suggest you pick up a copy of the Easypeasy hackbook - it has helped me greatly to smoothen out of the negatives of an addiction.

    Take care and if you need any help, there's always good people on these forums.


    Rengaw.
     
  3. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    12 days in. Strangely, I don't notice any urges so far. Yes, sometimes mind wondering about smth erotic, but at least about real life situations and not some porn. And even then there are no urges to masturbate. That feels really relaxing.
    I think I more focus on stopping smoking ciggaretts at the moment than on pmo.

    Also this boost of confidence bacame a usual thing in the last 5 days. Not impressed from it anymore, just feels good when you realize you had a boost of confidence compared to when you were on pmo. So thankful for some situations in the last few days.

    Guess I have even more motivation to nofap now.



    Thanks, man. Glad there're communicative people here
     
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  4. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    It's amazing to see you're trying to cripple both your smoking and fapping. If you have a fal back in either of them... don't sweat it!
    Having a setback is part of the game. Day by day you're increasing that confidence. Like you said: You're not impressed anymore, but later on it'll dawn upon you that you're feeling incredible for no significant reason. That's the power of nofap!

    Enjoy your ride!
     
  5. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    27 days, wow. This streak feels amazing. The November helps with it a lot.
    But still not cured at all. Even though I stopped masturbating and not visiting any porn sites. Still, the mind gives you what you miss. I can space out for up to 30 mins thinking about girls.
    Feels like step by step "I will quit PMO" transfers into "I will quit PMO to fuck girls with the boost of my ego" and writing this is the only way to realize it right now.
    Guess I will need time to change my mindset about sex. I know I'm good at it. But, like, do I want to date another nymphomaniac? Certainly no! Want to switch sex priority to under the feelings of the partner. Then I will stop react to cute girls who appear mental maniacs.
    But it's great. Appreciation of smth is the 1st step in curing it.

    wow, these diaries are amazing. you just start writing and it flows

    Well, I started smoking again but for sure won't sweat it. Reading a good book on stopping smoking atm. Interested how it will end. Cuz. why not?

    Cheers
     
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  6. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    33 Days was a good streak. Didn't even realize how I relapsed just now. Amazing how little you need after one month of nofap. Let's start an even higher streak. Plus finished my last pack of ciggs yesterday. Will as well start on that again. Day 0, lets go.
     
  7. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    Day 15/ Day 0

    So I indeed learned how to not touch myself. The unexpected crawled out. Was phantasizing about sex so much I came. Well, never thought this would happen. And even embarrased to say about it. But if I would be able to keep it okay mentally - would not happen. I'm still on my way to embrace the demons inside. Let's keep moving
     
  8. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    Day 5 / Day 0

    Let's start over, shall we
     
  9. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    Day 11 / Day 0

    I need to start getting more serious about it again
     
  10. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    I've been screwing up for 2 months and forgot the whole point. My last time lasted 5 days. I'm starting it from day zero again. This is sad. But will keep moving forward
     
  11. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    Day 0
    Seems like it is real difficulty for me to last longer than 4-7 days. But I'm gonna keep pushing
     
  12. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    If you'd like to have some insights on stopping smoking I could recommend you Allen Carr - Stop smoking now. His techniques have been transformed into many ways to stop 'using' cigarettes, drugs, food, alcohol. He's a legend.
    How is the quitting going? Maybe.. .maybe take one vice after another. I've stopped drinking alcohol for nearly a year now and I feel truly amazing. Still, porn is an issues. But I now have confidence. I KNOW I am no longer relying in crutches.
     
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  13. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    I agree with this. I read "the easy way to stop smoking" in 2008 after smoking for 10 years and haven't smoked since.
     
  14. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    Day 0
    Here we go again. I'm rewatching all of the motivationalvideos this week.

    Hey mate, nice to see you again after a long time. Thanks! I actually finally made a progress with ciggarettes. 2 weeks break in January but then broke at first drinking night. But it was last one. Didn't smoke any ciggarette since end of January. So, one month for sure. I'm not actually thinking about ciggarettes anymore, so I hope I will last for long. It becomes difficult during drinking tho. Next one is PMO for sure
    I really hope that you also are doing well, buddy
     
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  15. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    Good! That's about 6 weeks no cigarettes, well done mate.
    Alcohol is a huge cravings catalyst, for pretty much anything - cigarettes, food, drugs, more alcohol, sex, gambling. It creates more craving and numbs many positives. Primarily because of the latter I stopped drinking. I got depressed for a few days after drinking alcohol. I think because it crushed the last bit of self-love I still had.

    Now, things have been going well. I have been going to regular SLAA meetings and the benefits have been amazing. The meetings are weekly and perhaps more effective for me than seeing my addiction therapist.
     
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  16. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    Day 7/ Day 0

    One week is better. Need more. I feel horrible if I relapse after any declration is made. So. I will really start this time the 90 day test with no fap and see for results. Lets end this.

    Was thinking a lot on alcohol recenly. Like.. we poison ourselves to feel better? Not really better. And then you just keep doing it. The problem is that its a big addiction and you need to drink to socialize in lots of situations. You'll rarely see people who not drink. So alcohol is pretty much on the same level as porn addiction. Maybe even worse in its own way
     
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  17. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    I think alcohol is a more accepted phenomenon but has equally negative effects, in a different way. I truly believe drinking alcohol holds no intrinsic value except for the ones we attach to it - forgetting about our problems and getting into a different energy to enjoy new stories socially.
    Again, the 'bonding' aspect of alcohol are not about the individuals that inhibit alcohol but about the Egos that meet up and leave for a different vibration.

    I think it's worse because drunk people have a higher negative impact than 'porned up'people. I haven't read the first article about porn and driving, with casualties.
     
  18. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    Yea, so Day 6, Day 0. I might block certain websites, and start to study meditation properly. Mindfulness might be the way to go
     
  19. I highly recommend meditation/mindfulness. It'll make you more self-aware which is critical to recovery. Experiment and find what works for you.
     
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  20. Wise Hermit

    Wise Hermit Member

    Day zero
    This home office is killing me.
    Found a book on meditation I like. Let's see
     

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