Re: Finally starting for real ... First, thank you guys for the support. You are really the best. When I read your replies, I can feel you guys there, helping the best way there is: sharing experiences. No, I was not surprised. We talked about it today, and it looks like the separation is a sure thing. Now comes the tough part, selling the house, moving out, breaking up the family, organizing one week on / one week off with the kids. Big difference from the previous near separation experiences we had in the past: the panic of being alone happens sometimes, but other times, a sort of calm comes over me and tells me that everything is going to be alright. At the same time, I see freedom there. Freedom to do what though? It used to be that freedom was to binge drink and binge PMO. Now, it will have to be something else. The next few months will be difficult. Real_Rewards, I empathise with you and I have great admiration for what you did for your dad. It is easy enough to help the ones that are thankful, but it takes real courage to help and love the ones that fight us. We are all dealing with family stuff and often enough, we can't really share about it. I found that this fight we have with PMO is really about incredibly deeper changes we need to do in our lives. It is only by making those changes that I feel like I can beat this. That is the plan. Thank you for the words mc2013bn, I feel we have a parallel path in a lot of ways. My hopes are to salvage my family, but I now feel that I have to let go for now. Some things just need to happen. Tonight, I asked my wife why she thinks we need to separate. Her answer was : I need to breath. I can't, for the life of me, figure out how I am preventing her from breathing. But you know what, I don't need to know. I now feel ok with that. Again, this weird serenity about it, as before there was only panic. That is the most comforting thought. I think we have to make it very clear to all the newbies that relapse will happen, and that the important thing is coming back. I think a counter with a history would be a good thing, just to remind us how far we have come. I have notice guys adding a history manually as a comment to their counter. I think that is a great idea. But mostly, I think the influence of guys like you, imout, who ping people when they haven't posted in a while, reminding them gently that relapse is not the end of the world, that there is not shame in that, is what is most important. That is what makes this place special. People who care. When you get a response that shows the person actually read what you wrote. That makes the biggest difference in the world. BTW, Congrats Flesh and Bones! You reached your goal! So, what will you set the counter to now? Again, Guys, thanks for being there.