@Thelongwayhome27 This post is inspired by you and comments in your journal (not directed at you) The lost people ask the wrong questions all the time, which leads deeper into their confusion. One of the most confusing, and wrongest questions that has been asked (and sadly answered) is this: What does it mean to be a 'real man'?, or, How can I just be a man?, or, What do I have to do to become a man that women want? Wrong questions, wrong focus. I can actually answer those 3 questions right now in this way: 1. You already are a real man 2. You just are a man. There is no how-to. 3. Certain women are attracted to certain men. The person you already are, flaws and all, incomplete or not, is attractive to some women already. I am not cutting the wisdom short on those statements, it is the truth for me. I have met idiot pushover men who have zero balls, zero backbone, zero spine, are the most feminist, sloppy, weird, confused, non-ordinary, clownish.....bizarre….types of guys, who all have some women sexually attracted to them. This whole line of reasoning of, "What do I have to do to get the ladies?" Is a wrong question again. Sure, perhaps you aren't getting the ladies you desire, but don't dismiss that there are at least some women- even if you aren't into them- that desire you as you are already. I have met tons of guys that have (what others would describe as) hot girlfriends, and these guys are the biggest idiots and lack-of-values kind of people I have known. I have met Chritian Church boy bible nerd long panted mushrooms with hot women. I've met bordlerine criminal type of dudes with all kinds of girls. I've met yogi wearing, hippie, pot smoking, Zen New Age, grow a beard, "be vulnerable brother" type of muppets with hot women also. So that immediately rules out and cancels this question of "How do I be a man to get women?" You don't have to be anything but you to do it. And yet, and this is the real heart of this post, there is a lack of satisfaction isn't there? It's not satisfying enough to understand that for some reason isn't it. It just feels....hollow and weak. An emptiness to it. That's not the complete picture is it? Let's begin with a better question, which is the 'real' question that is being entertained when people ask this query on how to be a man, whatever the hell that means: How do I be the Man I want to be? Not what women want you to be, or what the world wants you to be or should be, but what you dream and idealise to be? Begin with principals, values, and set yourself a code of conduct. Don't stray from this inner code regardless of what happens in the world around you. To me, this is the genuine definition of strength, translated as, "Stand for something." Stand for something, and stand for yourself also. If you find it tough to stand for yourself, then pick an issue that is immediately happening in your life, ponder how you feel on it, and then take a course of stance. "This item over here is morally wrong. It is not good that X happened in this situation." By pondering types of things like this, you are revealing and chipping away where you stand on things, what you will tolerate and what you feel bad about tolerating. Things you feel bad about tolerating? Stop. Identify there is some principal at work there showing you the type of person you wish to be. It's trendy and on my mind for some reason- John Snow from Game of Thrones. Stands for what he believes is true and correct and justified. He does not deliberately go against the crowd, but because he prioritises his inner code first, this results in him going against the crowd from time to time. Alas, he has a ton of followers. So called "beta males" are simply people who are too scared to follow their inner code or who have mental blocks stopping them from doing what is correct in their hearts. The so called Alpha Male is the one who follows his heart and his principals. Notice the alpha male does not require any beta male support. The thing is, beta males are not really beta. Every human has the right to be strong, and stand for something. If you stand for something, you become sexy to the type of women you need to attract. A strong man respects himself at all cost, regardless of the temptation to try and cheat his code. If something is wrong, he wont do it. If something needs to be done, he does it. Please excuse those terms alpha and beta. I wont use those words anymore from now on, but do so to convey to other guys a similar lingo we can identify with to get my point across. Also don't look to others to see if you are doing the right thing or not. Check in yourself if you are doing the right thing, and if you are, that's good enough. The stupidest and most bashful thing you can do is to do a course of action, and then try and look around to see if 'the crowd' supports you. No, just act and be your own man. The right thing takes courage to do. Every right thing is within your individuality and heart, and hence, no one else can do it except you. I promise if you do it, and become the man you wish to be and not what others want you or project you to be, you will feel healthier and saner and feel a sense of ground.
nice post, inspiring I am trying to become a more authentic man, one area of my life where i am sometimes afraid to be authentic, make myself vulnerable or "rock the boat" is women
Ah yes. If one isn't honest (authentic), then one is being controlled and dictated how to be and live. Without sounding like a scientologist, this was a question I asked myself and got results from, "Who is stopping me from behaving honestly? X....Ok, and so what? What will happen if I do behave and be honest around XYZ?" "....And if that did happen, well, so what!" Good luck and have fun. There is a steep learning curve going from inauthentic (dishonest) to authentic (honesty). It is a fun journey of coming back into your power.
A real man is someone who serves God, in my opinion. You can be a skinny ''beta male'', a loser in the eyes of other people, have low T or whatever, if you're following your conscience you are a real man. (Easier said than done lol) Think that the words virility, virtue and veritas (truth) have the same root. (vir, which means man in latin)
Hi, i wanna know if a man has to be like hulk....am i supposed to always be really strong and idk dominant,
