- BECOMING THE MAN -

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by jdurden, Oct 6, 2012.

  1. jdurden

    jdurden Guest

    Hello Gentlemen, great to be here. I came across this fantastic forum through yourbrainonporn.com (YBOP) I can get my progress down in writing and try and help motivate and support some of you guys as well.

    I've written just below there I've been quitting PMO already. I just want to clarify and highlight this 8 week period from today as my final bow out of PMO. Due to a couple of relapses my quantifiable progress has been mystified somewhat.

    (N.B. I do have a previous journal on here I understand that you are only allowed one, so if necessary admin could you please delete the older one, otherwise it's just going to get left doing nothing :])

    STARTING POINT: Prior to this my record is as follows; 13 weeks of reboot (with two PMO relapses and one almost problem free sexual encounter (full intercourse), the latest PMO relapse occurred earlier today ;/) So I'll be coming from an advantaged position where my brain reboot will be further ahead than 0 weeks, but no more than 6 or 7 weeks I imagine because at my peak I was still without wet dreams and random erections.

    My Story

    To give you the breakdown, I've been masturbating since about 13 years of age, can't cite it as a major problem until later in my teens, but I want to note that when I did start masturbating it was to fast-streaming internet porn from day 1. The years went by and when I had my first experience of sexual intercourse aged 18 I experienced erectile dysfunction before and during sex with a new girlfriend, even going soft inside her which scared me a lot and was also really devastating as you can imagine at such a young age, I got angry with myself and blamed the easiest person; her and dumped her without good reason. This destroyed the already little sexual self-esteem I had, attending all-boys high school I wasn't greatly exposed to lots of women until aged 18 so I felt new and amateurish.

    Since then I've experienced a few similar situations being unable to perform on numerous occasions especially with a new partner. With another partner over time my performance increased, although at the start I was experiencing ED, I put the improvement down to a massive switch from half my internet porn viewing into real sex which makes sense. Meanwhile my porn use was increasing exponentially often in both how hardcore it was and prolonged use, getting older an more independent only seemed to facilitate PMO sessions, as a cure for pleasure-seeking, boredom, whatever.

    This has been the story since age 18, I am now 21 years of age. Reading some of the journals on here of guys, in particular much older guys talking about their problems and their journey now. I feel even more compelled to deal with this terrible problem now, so I can have a much more happy, natural and productive life. PMO addiction has created and exacerbated feelings of depression, anxiety, social anxiety, missing out on other activities, I've lost time with my friends, been late for school, college and work and most of all the major thing I realise now. The cause of my ED at such a devastatingly young age.

    After my last episode of ED, in which I was unable to get it up for a girl at her house I decided enough was enough, I walked home in silence on my own my head swimming with negative thoughts and a total of pretty much all my self-esteem. Sick and tired of not being able to get properly aroused without self-stimulation and porn I began researching the net and that's where I found YBOP, watched the videos and read the material available on there, which was a real eye-opener, I found myself in total agreement both fascinated by the science side of it all, the conditioning and neuroplasticity that occurs but I also felt quite emotional when presented with the truth of my negative condition.

    In addition to quitting for myself, I also wanted to help and support others and receive some myself as it's not something you can talk openly with just anyone when you're after someone to lend an ear. So if anyone at any point wants to ask me anything related to quitting PMO then I'd be happy to try my best to help as we're all in similar situations!

    I have decided to quit "cold turkey" quote on quote, it worked when I quit smoking a few years back so I agree with YBOP it's the best method of quitting PMO in my experience.

    My current conceived goals from today 06/10/2012 are as follows;

    - 8 weeks+ with absolutely NO PMO. (Will taper off MO after this date)
    - To educate myself and others on this problem.
    - To keep exercising and further improve my diet (good diet = good circulation = improved blood flow to the penis), practise kegels and physical body meditation.
    - To pick up a few more hobbies, which will aid in the present and future distraction from PMO.
    - Become more comfortable naturally with the opposite sex i.e. cuddling, massage and general closeness.


    I'm sure guys (and girls) can agree that this is such an underestimated, perhaps blissfully ignored issue across the world and people and professionals should be more keyed in to those of us experiencing real problems. There should be more mainstream awareness of really how addictive it can be for some people.

    Thank you thank you for reading! I will be online every day/few days to update my progress, from my heart I give you my best wishes in battling your own problems and achieving your own goals.

    You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

    JDURDEN
     
  2. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    It took society a very long time to accept alcohol can be harmful for people. Then it took a lot of time for society to realize smoking can be harmful. Now it will take time until people realize that porn can be harmful and addicting, especially since it's something so polemic (i.e. involving sexuality).

    Anyway, keep strong on your rebooting.
     

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