Becoming My True Self: My Abstinence Odyssey - Volume 3

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by ee6, Jul 19, 2015.

  1. ee6

    ee6 New Member

    After leaving this site for a while, I'm back.

    Life has been good lately. Maybe because it's summer, or maybe because I'm buying a house, I've been having less issues keeping my urges at bay. I was about to write "resisting my urges" there, but the word resisting implies that it takes effort. It's more like, the urge comes, and then I just sort of dismiss it. The feeling of empowerment is thrilling. My weekends don't feel like battles. However, I still give in from time to time.

    I now fap on average 3 or 4 times a week, and only one of those times is with the assistance of porn. At the beginning of 2014, I fapped 10 or 15 times a week, ALL to porn. I feel more self-confident, and I believe that I appear more confident to others.

    One of the methods to control myself is so simple I wonder why I didn't think of it earlier: Leave my computer out of my room. I don't live alone, and I have the dignity not to fap in the common areas of my house. If I decide to fap to porn, it will be a much more conscious, deliberate decision, because I have to actually move my computer.

    I would also recommend reading the book "You are not your brain". But read it slowly, so the information sticks. I've read self-help books before, but I end up blazing through them, and I may remember a couple bullet points but most of the book is forgotten. This book in particular emphasizes that it's your actions that wire your brain. The thoughts alone are fine, just as long as you don't take action. Pretty soon the willpower needed to resist the action will disappear, because you will AUTOMATICALLY dismiss the thought.

    Anyways, my counter is for one thing and for one thing only - porn. I'm not even going to keep track of how often I MO for the time being. It's not just about how many times you fap, it's how much time you waste fapping. Porn will turn a 5 minute MO session into two hours, and will get stuck in my brain, leading me to MO again. And I generally feel more depressed after a bout of porn.

    My fear is that once I've settled into my new place and the summer ends, I will become that person who isn't me again, which will be tragic. I will stay strong.

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