Becoming a person again

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by kees, Nov 21, 2012.

  1. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    I went alright for 40 days. But after a while I tend to forget what the problem was. At that point I should read the posts starting from the last relapse, but I don't.
    I see it quite clearly now; it's all about making a decision. I haven't made a decision yet.
    But, every time I fail I become more convinced that making a firm decision is necessary.
    At the moment I'm still too depressed (amongst other things, such as restlesness and headaches) to write much. Maybe I feel better next week, when the withdrawal symptoms (or what is it?) will become less.
  2. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    I found this video on ybop. It helped me.

    As you know I'm not totally into NoFap, but I get the message.
    It's funny though, since I quit dairy my libido has decreased tremendously. A good thing for me.
    So I've already cut down seriously on MO and I can go a little further with that.
    I still don't believe it's necessary to abstinate completely, but I finally see that it's necessary to cut down quite a bit.
    If you still MO as much as you want, you're bound to use fantasy and that's not a good thing for an addict. I see that now.
  3. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    I was thinking about not mentioning my last glitch (Gary doesn't like the word relapse) here on the forum. I was fed up with being honest.
    But then I might as well close my account for then there's no purpose of being here anymore. And I don't want to close my account. Because then I'm not a hero anymore ;D
    So today I spent the entire day reading about why and what and how. And I feel a lot better again after a couple of miserable days. I made a decision that I don't want to watch porn ever again. Porn is dead to me. I am weak but I have to become strong. To strengthen me I will totally brainwash myself with this "sick shit":

    From now on, every day that I'm at risk, (generally the days I'm alone for most of the day) I will start my day with some uplifting literature.
    I will totally avoid all bad stimuli on the internet and on tv and in real life and I will not fantasize anymore because this always leads to problem.
    I'm gonna do this, so help me Brain.
  4. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    I hear you, FB. I am no different. The struggle continues. I have no intention of giving up.
  5. mcbc_rewired

    mcbc_rewired Active Member

    Serious power in this. Thanks for sharing. I am going to go through the YBOP stuff again too. I need it.

    I agree on the fantasy stuff as it always leads to problems for me too. So hard to let go of. BUT lets do this.

    Enough wasted life!

    Best wishes F&B.
  6. Zed.

    Zed. Steady as she goes...

    Hey F&B, sorry to see you got back into the porn again, but welcome back, it's good to see you being here getting on with overcoming this thing rather than not doing so. More power to you. May the Brain retreat to a respectful distance as you strive on...
  7. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Kees, can't think of what to say but do want to say something encouraging.... just glad your still working on this. 40 days and 40 nights must have rewired some important circuits in your Brain. Be easy on yourself.
  8. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    Great comments. From now on it's bros before hos ;D

    Glad to see you guys haven't given up the battle as well.

    I will visit your journals soon. I'm not allowed much forumtime in the weekends ::)
  9. Omega Man

    Omega Man Everything counts.

    Glad you're still here. Persistence is key. I've been struggling a bit this past week or so myself.
  10. imout

    imout Active Member

    Like to give you my good vibes too. Making that clear decision and backing it up with utter resolve was the key for me. Grieve those titties or whatever gets you off. Because they arent for you anymore. Never ever. Its doable. But you gotta do the doing.

    Seeing all those all you other guys who have replied Keez, all here since I appeared here, and most on low counters makes me feel very uneasy.This is a powerful and insiduous addiction. Lets never underestimate it.

    Keep going Keez.
  11. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    Yeah, it sure is an addiction. I have some OCD-issues too, but they are not half as strong as this addiction. How many times have I underestimated it? Countless.
    Every time I was determined, yet failed in my determination.
    Every time I started thinking it was impossible to live without it.
    Bullshit. You can live without it.
    It's difficult to live without love, but living without porn is easy, once you turn the switch and see things clearly.
    In the long run it's actually much easier because you don't have to come up with excuses all the time about why you haven't done your work.
    I hope very much I will continue to see it as clearly as I do now.
  12. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    Traditionally, in october we have the discussion whether "zwarte piet" (black pete) is a racist part of our sinterklaasfeest or not.

    Ah, the distraction.
  13. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    Right after my last post, I received - literally - tons of questions about what the music was they were playing in that video.
    Well, here it is guys and gals:
  14. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    So 'till it's the fifth of december, when I want to PMO, all I have to do is think of Sinterklaas and the urge is gone ofcourse.
  15. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Whatever works, wouldn't want a chunk of coal in your stocking.

    Sugar, the culinary equivalent of porn... good one! :)
  16. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    Actually we put down our shoe, near the chimney, or when there's no chimney, next to the heating. With a carrot in it for the horse.
  17. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Hey, thanks for clarifying, no wonder I've been getting that chunk of coal each year! I'll remember the carrot this time :)
  18. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    The wheather is not hot and so am I not.
  19. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Carrot for the horse? Wha' ? Hay for the reindeer dude! Get your story straight. Wow, these are very bizarre traditions.

    We have Halloween, it seems to have become a week long celebration of things dead and evil? Oh well...

    Good to read that you are in good spirits Kees!
  20. youngoldie

    youngoldie Onwards comrades - we have to go back!

    Hi Kees,

    Interesting comment, you will not use fantasy? Even not for MO? I made some MO experiments, and it works without any imagination, even in a short time, but somehow pointless.

    Despite of that, I came into some O's with my wife and some hornier MO sessions. So I like to reboot from that and I have aleady 6 days w/out MO. some aspects of my live seem to improve, but I hope for more.

    So the baby making plan is cancelled - the Os had a negative effect and babies were not available, as it seems.

    As I observe others, those who regularely MO, seem to have a tendency to come closer to porn.

    Regularly getting O's seem to cause hormonal imbalance which can either cured with O again or with abstinence.

    What I will do is: No MO, no Sex-O for me, no Os for my wife. I needed some time to get calmer during sex (I had that wild porn-like sex for some time) and i feel better. Yes I recommend this also to others, because I felt the positve effect already some months before.

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