After almost thirty years of porn I've decided to quit my addictions. I consider myself a pretty smart guy and I've tried to stop before, but not succesfully despite or because of my brains. My name "kees" is dutch and is pronounced as "case". I'm in considerable backpain and can not write for too long, but I really wanted to write as much as I can, to get some of my chest. On the first of november I quit drinking. I didn't want to be an addict anymore. I'm in a (small) therapeutical program for that. I often wanted to stop with porn as well, but it's really hard to get in a program for that without telling your wife and I have bad experiences with that. Well, my wife went away for the weekend and I was busy with porn for many hours. Afterwards ofcourse I had a terrible hangover. After that (second) weekend in november, I decided that if I was going to stay of the booze, I also didn't want to be a sex-addict anymore. After reading a lot about it, mainly on the site yourbrainonporn.com, I am now convinced that the only way for me is not looking at porn ever again. At first I felt really weird about that. Porn has become so normal for most people that it's like giving up breathing. It's as normal as drinking alcohol to most people. I told my best friend about my desire to stay clean and he was really lame about it. Asking me if Jesus was my saviour now and all that. I first didn't think I was gonna do it, but after a few days I told my wife I was never going to watch porn again. Then she asked me: Oh, did you do that a lot? Well, I lied by saying that it wasn't really a problem for me, but that I was doing well now with the not-drinking and that I wanted to feel even better by not using other drugs as well. I'm sorry for my bad english, but I'm dutch so this is not my native tongue. To my knowledge there isn't a similar site as this in the netherlands (yet). I should probably start one. But again: Pretty bad experiences with telling a former girlfriend about my problems. I still like to have normal sex with my wife in the future, so I'll stick to the not-so-creepy picture she has of me. I'm totally honest here though. I guess you have to be honest somewhere. Oh, and I've told my alcohol-therapist about it. But she's not specialized in this and stuff, so there's not much place for this there. Also, she's a woman and that makes me a bit inhibited to tell about these problems. That's it for now, my back is killing me. It's gonna be hard to get out of this chair. There's one advantage to pain at this moment: It totally takes my mind of sex and booze.