Becoming a complete human being

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by NoDestination, Oct 1, 2016.

  1. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    It's all about the process, the journey. The constant improvement and development is what drives people like Elon Musk. They take *some* time to reflect about their achievements, but they always keep their eyes forward.

    Looking at myself, I'm a completely different guy then ten years ago, but I'm still not 'done' with myself nor do I want to be.

    Occasionally I force myself to look back at my achievements, because it's too easy to keep looking forward at the things that still have to be accomplished.
  2. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Take a look at this

    "The Tesla and SpaceX founder generally spends a full workweek at each of his two companies, wolfing down lunch in five minutes and skipping phone calls for productivity's sake."

    I think this is both motivation and inspiration and a great deal of obsession. But how much time he spends with his wife and sons? I think when he is older he will regret spending so much time working and not taking the time to smell the roses. Unhealthy lifestyle. Balance is key.
  3. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    You can also argue that he's doing things that will benefit many more people than just his own family. I'm not sure if I would do it, but I understand him. And perhaps he does have time, I know he plays Overwatch for example. So the man must have some free time.
  4. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    So did the inventor of smallpox vaccine and I doubt he is working 100+ hours every week. Just saying need to have balance.

    As P goes. Here I go again. Got a bit complacent. Just counting down the days to China is not a way to live.

    Day 1 again.

    Some urges in the morning. But it is easy.

    Seeing P thoughts for what they are just thoughts. Like waves they come and they go. Need to just accept and let go. Seeing clearly what I get from acting out and how this doesn't fit with my values and my goals.

    Second, more important than seeing thoughts just as thoughts. I need to learn to be comfortable with the state of being horny. Just accept this state and not go crazy because of it. Don't be greedy. Just being horny is enough.

    Maybe it is that simple. See thoughts as just thoughts and be comfortable with being horny. No need for some motivation or inspiration.
  5. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Day 2
    1. Urge surfing. Seeing thoughts as thoughts and letting them go.
    2. Being comfortable with being horny.
    Maybe it is this simple.
  6. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Day 3

    Seeing thoughts as thoughts. It is better to just let thoughts flow than let them collect into a dirty swamp.
    Being comfortable with being horny. Being happy with just being horny, no need to PMO. Just enjoy being horny and let the sensations of horniness come and go.

    The water must flow!

    Maybe it is this simple.
  7. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Day 4

    No problems. Looking forward to day 8.
    Thebeg likes this.
  8. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Relapsed yesterday. Like I said. Until I quit the job this is going to keep happening. I come just waaaay too tired from work to do anything. I've set the last date of work to be be 29.10 but I will change it to 21.10.

    I've also been thinking a lot about child vs man. Horniness vs creation.

    I think the fundamental difference between a child and a man is this.

    A child is a consumer. A content consumer. I am hungry. Mom/wife feed me. I am horny. Porn give me girls. I am tired. I don't want to think. I want X, give it. Make it happen. I don't want to do it. I expect Y to do this for me.

    A man is a creator. A content creator. I am hungry. I will go to the store and make food. I will go out and do stuff. I want X to happen I will not expect for a magic fairy to make this happen for me (parents/family member/friends/GF, etc). I am the one who will create things. I will give away my energy to make things happen and not expect others to give their energy for something I want/need.

    The creator is for life. The creator mentality doesn't stop when I get back from work nor is there any magic time like retirement to make it stop.

    Time I stop being a consumer and become a creator. I am the one who needs to make things happen. There is no magic fairy I am the magic fairy. I can make dreams a reality.
  9. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Feel just crazy. Just super sleepy all the time and 0 appetite. I just want to sleep all the time. Feeling that feel just before going to sleep all the time.

    On the good side. I think I've cracked the case. Still a bit early. But instead of looping all the sexual energy around the body. Like explained here

    Everybody talks about sublimation. Like looping the energy or transforming it. But I started doing something else. When I get super horny I imagine the horniness to be empowered by love and wisdom energies. Looks like this is it. Also watched this video. It got me thinking. Girls have 0 fetishes? Instead of thinking how boring this must be. I find it awesome. Yes! 0 fetishes! Just connection with somebody. Not seeing the other person as a bag of meat do live out some fetish. Makes total sense for me.

    Hope you are doing well my fellow rebooters. See you around.

  10. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    I think I finally get it.

    I am out of the game. Full heartedly.

    Like being an compulsive gambler. Thinking recovery is about not playing the game. Yet still going into a Casino to just watch others. Just thinking about some new game strategy...just for fun. Not really going to play. But still thinking about.

    If you are going to quit....then quit all the way.

    I think I am finally OK by never again watching P. I am also fine by not dating. I am also fine by not fantasizing. This is fine. Yeah. Just forget about P. I am also fine by not not Oing.

    Sure. Reproduction is the the single most important terms of my biology. But I'd like to think my life is not about being a sack of meat that needs to inseminate anything that looks like a beautiful girl. Surprisingly there are plenty of meaningful things to do instead of just PMOing.

    Counting down the days till end of job.
  11. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Interesting day.

    Got vaccinated. In the waiting room, just when I was leaving. Some very hot girl came. She had very nice clothes and make up. I just appreciated the time and money the girl spent on looking nice. It made me realize I need to focus on clothing and style as well. No problems urge wize.

    At lunch at work. Some hot business type lady sat at the next table. She looked 80% like a femdom girl from some P scene. What can I do? Just appreciate how hot the girl is and move on.

    In the elevator a cute woman joined for the ride. I could glance at her phone. She had a baby picture as the background image. Most probably her kid. What can I do but be happy for her. I wish her all the best. I hope they are a happy and healthy family.

    There is a girl out there for me. Until I find her. I can only let go. It feels pretty liberating just appreciating how some girls look. How much effort they put in looking good. Like when you appreciate a nice scenery in nature. See a nice waterfall or something like that. It makes me feel blessed to be alive. To be aware I am alive. There is no need for me to fap to a girl I seen at the elevator. I can just let go and move on.

    This energy practice stuff. Moving the energy around is just half the solution. The sexual energy must also be empowered by love and wisdom energy. Complete picture.

    Finally bought all the airplane tickets and made all the transport arrangements for China. All what is left is tourist visa and 1 more vaccination and travel insurance.

    Good luck everyone.
    TheScriabin likes this.
  12. socialite189

    socialite189 Member

    Well done! Your quote is right on. I would also add the word "responsibility" (for our own actions)

    What you are experiencing is very powerful. Realizing the beauty of the girls around without having to act on it, think about it, fantasize about it, etc - is very powerful. For me it was (and still is often) difficult. But being married now my perspective has changed and I now mentally say to the beautiful women that I see "You are beautiful. You are not for me as I am married and only my wife is for me, but I appreciate and admire you taking care of your appearance to look so attractive. Thank you for that".
  13. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    Thanks for linking that video. I actually have a mild version of what she describes in that video. Sometimes I get turned on by myself and wearing some female underwear adds to the excitement. I actually consider it an auto-erotic relapse, but not a transformation fetish. The pie one is an interesting one :)

    For women, it seems pretty much the only fetish they have is being dominated, but I don't really consider that a fetish since they all like that.
  14. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    I really like this song. Both the original and remix.

    Saw a hot girl in the lobby. I noticed how her hair color matchers her shoes. Nice. Move on and be happy for her.

    There is a conclusion to this illusion. There is a light to all this darkness.
  15. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    P is this magical break from life. But this is not how a complete human beings are suppose to live. There is no break. The ball is on me 100%. It is not such a bad thing. Just need to learn to live with it.

    I cannot expect my parents, friends, coworkers or some magic fairy tale to pull my weight. I need to pull 100% of my weight. I am the fucking fairy tale. Time to make some wishes come true.

    Second. I don't give a fuck is a nice attitude to have. I don't mean like doing stupid shit and saying I don't give a fuck. More like I don't give a fuck what everybody else things. I'll do my own thing.

    The ball is on me. 100% of the time.
  16. Fish Hawk

    Fish Hawk Well-Known Member

    Amen......... wish more people realized this. Good on ya !
  17. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Active Member

    "I am the fucking fairy tale."

    Sir, please get rich from printing that on T-shirts. :D
  18. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Haha. Made a mistake should be a fucking magic fairy not fairy tale.

    The autopilot is still strong. I am having a cold and feel pretty tired. Ended up peeking some P. But I am like WTF is this shit? This shit used to turn me on? Just horrible. I then went on Youtube and watched some vlogs from expats in China.

    Haven't seriously gamed in a few years. From time to time I end up watching some pc game gameplays on YT. I am like ok. No worries. Echo from the past. Still better than gaming all night. I guess I am going to still end up on some P sites from time to time.

    There's a conclusion to my illusion
    I assure you this
    There's no end to this confusion
    If you let it wish you well
    Soul to sell
    Highest bidders, can't you tell what you're getting?
    There is a light to all this darkness
    I will tell you this
    There's redemption in you asking them just why it is
    Some answers are better left unspoken
    When you know you ain't getting any younger
  19. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Peeked a bit yesterday. Didn't even got turned on. Just WTF. Like browsing some time wasting websites. I am like WTF am I doing here yet I just keep on going.
  20. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    Small relapse over the weekend. Not totally unexpected. The cold really fucked me up. I am still having a cold. Getting better I guess.

    Needed to get to town. Wow. So many cute, fit girls out there. I am like. wow. I cannot believe I chose P and gaming over this. Glad this isn't coming from a place of regret. I don't regret the things that happened. P has been a great teacher.

    Probably my fantasy is that I'd be together with my high school crush and we'd live happily ever after. I've meet a few couples who were like together since High School. Probably never dated anybody else. I am very happy for them. But all of them look a bit emotionally weak. They haven't really experienced the full spectrum of existence. I think you know what I mean. In retrospect I am glad it didn't work out with my crush in HS. I am glad I had a big PC gaming problem. etc. Life is great.

    Feels so nice to just appreciate things in life but at the same time not cling to them.

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