Back with a vengance to kill off porn!

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Achilles12393, Sep 19, 2017.

  1. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 1,

    So relapsed the other day after a long while. Decided I needed to come back and write on a forum such as this. I've got a long-term girlfriend now and things have been great between us. It'd been about two months since I'd watched porn or acted out but yesterday I felt this compelling urge that I literally just succumbed too. No way of sugar coating it but I fucked up. Anyways being at square 1, I can only go up from here. Can't have no more slip-ups though!
     
    1234dyl likes this.
  2. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 3,

    Crazy day the other day and really just was swamped with stuff. Still gives no excuse to not posting on here. I'm looking forward to another good day. Got work from 8-2 and then off to class. Lol I need to sadly finish my homework for said class during work! Other than that I'm doing well. Had a porn dream last night and in most cases that usually leads to relapse that day so I need to be extra cautious in watching myself today.
     
  3. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 7
    Was a busy finish to last week. No excuse. Need to find a way to post in the morning. Just woke up for my first day of work at a new job. Excited but also really nervous. Had great sex with my girlfriend over the weekend. Struggled a bit with PIED but got it working in the end. Still it's incentive to work towards not looking at porn. Last thing, I had a terrible urge when I came back home last night to act out and start searching pornstars. My computer had to be reset and it's no longer protected by K9 web protection. When I get home tonight after class I need to make sure to safeguard it and not forget about it until it's too late.
     
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  4. 1234dyl

    1234dyl Active Member

    How did the new job go? Congrats on your streak
     
  5. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Job is going great. Sadly I relapsed last night. Didn't O but I looked up some google images of pornstars I used to watch. It sucks, almost knocks me out of the good rhythm I have going for me in life right now.

    I hate porn, I really do and I hate the fact that I'm so drawn and addicted to it. I made a pre-recorded file following the incident to listen to when tempted. I also wrote out "why porn is bad for me" and incorporated it into my morning routine. Thanks Dylan for following though man, the support and comment is much appreciated and helpful when you know you have someone in this fight with you.

    Day 1
     
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  6. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 1,
    Back at square 1. Goal is to quit porn and couple that with chewing tobacco ( I had been clean of chew for about two months but I was at my cousins last night, had one chew while playing a video game and then later in the night I relapsed with porn too....). Need to also make audio recordings at night for use the next morning.
     
  7. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 1,
    Lol it's funny but not funny. I keep getting here. I've become pretty disciplined with the rest of my life but this is still here holding me back. The monkey on my fucking back. I can't not write one day. And I need to go back to make my audio recordings to listen to in the mornings when I wake up for work (and on the weekends as well).
     
  8. 1234dyl

    1234dyl Active Member

    Try to change something bro. Something that makes you think twice when you go crazy. For me, it's telling someone I have a porn problem. It's probably not the best method long term but now I feel like porn isn't an option because I have to face the person who I told and say yeah I was an idiot again and relapsed. And that for me is keeping me off porn and masturbation right now.. on top of all the other things obviously. I don't know what the answer is,but saying no to porn right now will make forever fit into place. it all adds up. Don't be hard on yourself and good luck
     
  9. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Dylan1234,
    Really appreciate the advice man. It's definitely hard talking about it with someone when I slip up but I think you're right, changing up like that and holding myself more accountable will help me grow. Seriously happy for the comment man, means a lot!


    Other than that it has been a few uneventful days. Kept myself busy with family, football, and school. I just sat down really for the first time to relax and the first thing my mind went to was acting out. That's why I came on here. And it helped. I came across Dylan's great comment, and saw how this site is a means to beat porn and that's what I really want in my life long term, that it all just grounded me.

    Going to probably throw on a movie and head to bed. Early morning tomorrow. I'm grateful for friends and family, for not relapsing, and for your comment as well Dylan.
     
    1234dyl likes this.
  10. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 1 Morning
     
  11. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 1
    Bedtime : 10:13 EST
     
  12. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 2
    6:15 am EST
     
  13. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 2
    9:45 pm EST
     
  14. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 3
    6:47 am EST
     
    1234dyl likes this.
  15. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 3
    8:10 pm EST
    Almost relapsed just now. Going to bed to not have a slip up. phones upstairs.
     
  16. Achilles12393

    Achilles12393 Member

    Day 4
    9:00am EST
     

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