I was away from here for a long time, came back about 3 weeks ago and had a 3 week run that was very very good, but then today….I caved. Disappointed….yes…but not freaking out about it…..as I have done in the past, and learned how there is no point…get back on it and get going…. Some thoughts to share…. I increasingly felt great, and more focused, and energized, and generally upbeat, and so I will hang on to how that felt and begin again with some lessons learned. My libido went to zero after a few days, and it was not scary but rather, refreshing….LOL. I was like, hey this could be easy, huh? I was also a little under the weather so maybe that was part of it. Within a week or so, I realized I was more focused and at ease, and genuinely connecting to people — less spacing out as I sat and hung with others. I was more THERE, with them. I hit the gym, ate and slept a little better — I always hit the gym, so that wasnt new but I def feel I hit it harder, more focused. I was definitely more motivated to get some things done — that alone felt amazing, like, I was back in the game. To be fair, I always take care of my stuff I have to do, but I can skate along with the best of them and nobody notices (much) that I am, but I noticed it this week. About a week and a half into this, I had a doc appointment, and I told him, when he asked, that my libido felt…blah…because it was….and he did a testosterone test…and a few more days later….it came back…low, and I was not surprised entirely because I told you, my libido was gone…but I felt good otherwise…motivated, alert, etc… So now he wants to do another one. The funny thing is that on the day he gave me the results, I was feeling much better with my libido stirring again…and I told him so, but he wants to retest me. Im curious if anybody has had this experience during a reboot. In the days since that news of the low t…I def feel more libido kicking in…kind of weird. My immediate thought was….well, maybe during my short reboot here, my brain is like out of whack, as in wtf is going on here with this guy and so it shut something down? Also…Lesson learned which I already always knew…u really have to stay away from the triggers, even little ones and the circumstances, places, time of day play a part in that….for example….got bored, was alone, went online to do some real stuff and slowly sunk into looking at some instagram girls…okay no big deal (wrong) then a little more a little bit later….and eventually…back to zero. Not gonna beat myself up too much, but it does bother me to see that counter back at Zero. — will be changing it in a moment if u dont see it here….but I take the memory, the feeling, of how good it felt earlier, how much better I felt, and will build on that. I guess I am sharing this here in case anybody else sees themselves in here and well, you are not alone, and i am very open to any comments or suggestions or sharing of any other experiences, tips, expertise, encouragement, and so on. And finally…my slip up here….omg, totally not worth it. Ridiculous. All bs, complete nonsense. Such nonsense that I can actually feel good about how juvenile, and ridiculous….and try to remember that going forward.