Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CJJackson, Dec 20, 2017.
17 for me keep going man!
Day 9 for me, keep going boys!
Still going strong still no porn use in 2019 was watching a movie with some sexual content last night and had urges but was able to fight them off. Past few months have been tough with anxiety but not much porn use probably 5 times total in the last 6 months. I think I’ve been focusing too much on quitting PMO need to stop obsessing so much and just love life I’ve made a lot of improvements in my life just gotta keep going. After a year of committing to this with some relapses admittedly, there’s really not much urge to look at porn. Of course on the days I have watched it it’s like the best thing in the world again haha oh well just gotta keep going life’s better without it.
@Lakaf @Pete McVries hope you boys are staying strong!
Yes, I'm currently flatlining hard but it is welcomed because I have no urges to speak of.
CJJackson I think that your battle with porn, even with its ups and downs, is a positive thing. Just keep on coming back to the fight and eventually you will win. Like you, I was absent from the forum for a few years and have come back after a relapse. This community can give you the strength and accountability you need.
@Caoimhín hey man thanks for the support I appreciate it it’s definitely important to be supportive of each other but also push each other to keep going. I’ll jeep you updated and stay in touch thanks again and best of luck to you!
Figured it was time to check in again. The past few months have been a real battle with my OCD and anxiety. I felt that I was obsessing over porn a lot but it was mostly just in my head. I’ve been having a lot of intrusive thoughts about the porn I used to watch. Almost like a fear I’ll go back to watching it or a fear of doing it in real life. I know that this largely just a product of my OCD and if I can get that under control everything will be OK. In my 13 month journey of nofap so far I’ve learned that there is a lot of beauty in life and the porn I watched was just unrealistic fantasies in my head and are not the reality that I want to live in. I just Need to stay positive and keep at it. Porn had its grip on me and I’ll never go back down that road again.
I was quite surprised, after an even longer absense from porn, that when I slipped back into it, many images were actually intact in my brain. They were remembered easily and even sent me searching for old favourites! These intrusive thoughts were even more common with just MO.
@Caoimhín yeah I think once you learn to associate it with arousal it’s hard to unlearn fully. I hadn’t thought of some of the weird stuff I used to watch in awhile and even the times I did I thought to myself you know that doesn’t really seem appealing anymore. And tonight here I am watching a movie that happens to have a scene that reminded me of my fetishes. At first I was distressed that I got a little aroused and felt uncomfortable but then I realized that after a few minutes I didn’t really have an urge to look at it again and it wasn’t like I got a full on erection I just noticed I started to get aroused. I guess that’s a sign of progress and I guess it also means it’ll never fully go away but that it’s possible to get it under control and manage it.
It's all about getting to know yourself better and understanding why we do the things we do.
@Caoimhín yeah I agree I feel like sometimes I’m too hard on myself for past mistakes whether it be with porn or other areas of my life. I think I just need to stop dwelling on the past and start focusing on the future. I’m only 22 and have a lot of life ahead of me just because I saw something in porn and it aroused me doesn’t mean I’d actually enjoy it in real life. I guess I’ll have to learn how to accept that and just keep working on removing porn and artificial stimulation from my life
Repeat after me: I am basically a good guy. I am basically a good guy.
None of us are perfect but unless you stomp on puppies and do other really bad things, you are basically just a good guy. You deserve to be happy.
Thanks man that really helped grateful for you and everyone else here
Came home pretty drunk last Night and had a slight relapse looking at porn for like 10 minutes. Didn’t really obsess over it too much just had a relaxing day since I was pretty hungover. Back on the horse no binging.
Just a bump in the road, m8. Good on you for not binging. Have you considered ruling out drinking alcohol for a while? It's what I did because most of my relapses happen when I'm hungover the next day.
@Pete McVries thanks for the support man! I was doing well with drinking since I graduated college. Prob 2 times a month where I would get banged up but lately I’ve been going out a lot in an attempt find to more girls and stay off PMO. But I’m thinking that I’ll stay in and hang out the next few weekends.
Time for another update I guess. After getting through January and most of February clean minus a one day relapse halfway through I’m feeling strong with a few clean weeks under my belt. Had a rough past few months with anxiety and OCD but I’ve been working on it with a therapist and think I’m finally making some progress. I’ve spent a lot of time lately questioning whether rebooting is worth it. Even though I know it is and I truly want to keep up this fight and rid my life of this addiction, there’s times I find myself wondering if it’s all worth it. I’m guessing this is just the addiction getting in my head I don’t plan on giving up anytime soon but I know I need to manage both anxiety and porn urges in a better way. As I near the 15 month mark of my reboot I’d say my PMO count is somewhere between 35-40 which would equate to being clean around 90% of the last 15 months this is something I’m proud of and will continue to build on.
Don't ever give up, it's worth it. And great that you are working with a therapist. I started therapy at the end of last year and it has helped me tremendously. She really is a blessing for me. Hope your therapist can help you as much as mine didand does. Keep going, man!
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