Back to try again after two years

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CJJackson, Dec 20, 2017.

  1. Lakaf

    Lakaf Active Member

    5 Days Done Muahhahahah.
     
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  2. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

    17 for me keep going man!
     
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  3. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Member

    Day 9 for me, keep going boys!
     
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  4. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

    Still going strong still no porn use in 2019 was watching a movie with some sexual content last night and had urges but was able to fight them off. Past few months have been tough with anxiety but not much porn use probably 5 times total in the last 6 months. I think I’ve been focusing too much on quitting PMO need to stop obsessing so much and just love life I’ve made a lot of improvements in my life just gotta keep going. After a year of committing to this with some relapses admittedly, there’s really not much urge to look at porn. Of course on the days I have watched it it’s like the best thing in the world again haha oh well just gotta keep going life’s better without it.
     
  5. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

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  6. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Member

    Yes, I'm currently flatlining hard but it is welcomed because I have no urges to speak of.
     
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  7. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    CJJackson I think that your battle with porn, even with its ups and downs, is a positive thing. Just keep on coming back to the fight and eventually you will win. Like you, I was absent from the forum for a few years and have come back after a relapse. This community can give you the strength and accountability you need.
     
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  8. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

    @Caoimhín hey man thanks for the support I appreciate it it’s definitely important to be supportive of each other but also push each other to keep going. I’ll jeep you updated and stay in touch thanks again and best of luck to you!
     
  9. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

    Figured it was time to check in again. The past few months have been a real battle with my OCD and anxiety. I felt that I was obsessing over porn a lot but it was mostly just in my head. I’ve been having a lot of intrusive thoughts about the porn I used to watch. Almost like a fear I’ll go back to watching it or a fear of doing it in real life. I know that this largely just a product of my OCD and if I can get that under control everything will be OK. In my 13 month journey of nofap so far I’ve learned that there is a lot of beauty in life and the porn I watched was just unrealistic fantasies in my head and are not the reality that I want to live in. I just Need to stay positive and keep at it. Porn had its grip on me and I’ll never go back down that road again.
     
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  10. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    I was quite surprised, after an even longer absense from porn, that when I slipped back into it, many images were actually intact in my brain. They were remembered easily and even sent me searching for old favourites! These intrusive thoughts were even more common with just MO.
     
  11. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

    @Caoimhín yeah I think once you learn to associate it with arousal it’s hard to unlearn fully. I hadn’t thought of some of the weird stuff I used to watch in awhile and even the times I did I thought to myself you know that doesn’t really seem appealing anymore. And tonight here I am watching a movie that happens to have a scene that reminded me of my fetishes. At first I was distressed that I got a little aroused and felt uncomfortable but then I realized that after a few minutes I didn’t really have an urge to look at it again and it wasn’t like I got a full on erection I just noticed I started to get aroused. I guess that’s a sign of progress and I guess it also means it’ll never fully go away but that it’s possible to get it under control and manage it.
     
  12. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    It's all about getting to know yourself better and understanding why we do the things we do.
     
  13. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

    @Caoimhín yeah I agree I feel like sometimes I’m too hard on myself for past mistakes whether it be with porn or other areas of my life. I think I just need to stop dwelling on the past and start focusing on the future. I’m only 22 and have a lot of life ahead of me just because I saw something in porn and it aroused me doesn’t mean I’d actually enjoy it in real life. I guess I’ll have to learn how to accept that and just keep working on removing porn and artificial stimulation from my life
     
  14. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    Repeat after me: I am basically a good guy. I am basically a good guy.

    None of us are perfect but unless you stomp on puppies and do other really bad things, you are basically just a good guy. You deserve to be happy.
     
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  15. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

    Thanks man that really helped grateful for you and everyone else here
     
  16. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

    Came home pretty drunk last Night and had a slight relapse looking at porn for like 10 minutes. Didn’t really obsess over it too much just had a relaxing day since I was pretty hungover. Back on the horse no binging.
     
  17. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Member

    Just a bump in the road, m8. Good on you for not binging. Have you considered ruling out drinking alcohol for a while? It's what I did because most of my relapses happen when I'm hungover the next day.
     
  18. CJJackson

    CJJackson Member

    @Pete McVries thanks for the support man! I was doing well with drinking since I graduated college. Prob 2 times a month where I would get banged up but lately I’ve been going out a lot in an attempt find to more girls and stay off PMO. But I’m thinking that I’ll stay in and hang out the next few weekends.
     
  19. Lakaf

    Lakaf Active Member

    Starts Again!
     
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