Back to try again after two years

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CJJackson, Dec 20, 2017.

  1. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Not much to say other than I’m staying strong desires to watch porn seem to be dwindling. While I still have urges at times I feel like I know how to handle them a lot better. Anyone who is struggling should check out the Kreative Vein YouTube channel. That kid gives some great insight and has loads of tips
     
  2. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    So it’s been about a month since I’ve last posted. I’ve been doing great. Still no porn for almost 50 days and only like 5-6 times in the last 3 months total. I feel miles ahead from where I was months ago. I’ve reaped some benefits but this about a lifestyle change not just quitting porn. I did also just masturbate for the first time in almost two months. It felt incredible and it was purely due to sensation and thinking about some girl I like lol. I still worry a little bit that not having a relapse from time to time is unhealthy. I’m hoping if I can get a girl soon then I won’t even have to worry about that bc I’ll have sex all the time lol. Well I feel like I’m winning this fight now but I need to stay on track and not stray from my new healthy habits
     
    Nuwanda, newlifebalance and 1234dyl like this.
  3. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    Fantastic progress man! So great to see how well you are doing :D
     
    CJJackson likes this.
  4. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Still going strong hardly think about porn anymore. Get an occasional urge once in a great while. I’ve had a little more success with girls and feeling more confident all the time. Know that’s it’s possible to break free from this addiction I’m living proof
     
  5. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    So I’ve watched porn 3-4 times over the last few weeks. I consider it a minor setback probably from getting a little too cocky. Just graduated College and starting a job next month so got a lot going forward just gotta keep going
     
  6. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Also another question I had was about PE. I’ve noticed the few times I watched the porn I came in like less than 30 seconds I feel like that means my brain has rebooted a little bit I also see that as a problem when it comes to having actual sex any advice?
     
  7. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Kinda been relapsing lately. The past month hasn’t been great. Been having a lot of thoughts of giving up but I’m not going too. I know of I commit myself I can beat this.
     
  8. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Had a solid 40 day streak. Prob watched porn 3 times since I last posted. Overall it’s been about 7 months with 20 PMOs and a few more MOs I’ve definitely made progress I have less of a urge to watch certain types of porn and it’s challenging rn bc I’m single I feel like once I get a gf the desire will go down even more because I’ll be experiencing real intimacy. Still my goal now is to try and complete a full 90 day challenge hopefully I’m one step closer
     
  9. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Been a tough stretch. Prob up to 30 PMOs since I started again back in December. I feel like I might’ve lost some motivation or got too cocky. I’m working on developing the mindset I had before about really wanting to quit porn. I still think I’ve made progress I’m finally understanding now how long rebooting does take. I wanna say right now that I’m gonna get back up and start the counter again. I’ve come too far to quit now.
     
  10. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    Hey again Jackson! Have you tried to talk to any of your friends about this? Sometimes talking to friends gives a bigger stake to the action of PMO. I told one friend, and we made a deal. Every time I PMO I have to donate $100 to any charity of his choice. Makes me think twice about PMO! Also I would recommend the NAC system from Tony Robbins, it can be read in the book "awaken the giant within".
     
  11. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

     
  12. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Always feels good when you get the first 24 hours under your belt feeling motivated to quit for good
     
  13. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    Great to hear you are confident in yourself man. We will do this! I will keep you up to date, make sure to not let me quit this faster than you ;)
     
    CJJackson likes this.
  14. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Feeling good no real urges to report. I guess what I’ve struggled with is some up and down depression. I think I have to learn how to accept what porn did to my brain and that as long as I do whatever possible to not watch it and better my life in other ways then I’m still winning. Some of the fetishes I picked up are embarrassing but I have to remember that it’s artificial stimuli and that it’s not really me. I’m not a fucked Up individual but I’m just going through what people in my situation experience. I’ve made great progress and will continue to just gotta work on staying positive
     
  15. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Lot of anxiety lately still strong no urges but I have a lot of fear. People say that’s a good thing because it’s when you finally start to develop the winning mindset something that has me motivated is that on December 22nd I will hit 90 days for the first time since I started this journey. That also happens to be the date I made my profile here. I remember the feelings of anxiety and shame that night and that’s what’s kept me going. Also having OCD makes this fight so much harder. It’s like I have OCD about relapsing even tho I don’t feel any real desire to PMO but it’s like my brain is telling me I’m gonna relapse soon. Idk I feel like I’m close just gotta keep at it.
     
  16. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Feeling like shit lately still going strong must be flatlining just no motivation to do anything pretty much wake up go to work where I’m unmotivated to do my job and then come home and go to the gym which has been helping and then come home again and watch TV for a few hours no desire to fap just need to keep fighting I know I’ll feel like a champ if I get to the 90 day mark in December. Stay strong everyone!
     
  17. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    Stay strong man! Being unmotivated is only temporary
     
    CJJackson likes this.
  18. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Thanks bro I’m back at it just a few tough weeks
     
  19. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Riding a 34 day streak completely hard mode nothing since 9/12 had some few urges earlier but I fought them off this flatline is pretty rough it’s like my brain is telling it needs porn even though deep down I know o don’t want to do it gotta stay strong!
     
  20. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Still up and down emotionally lately still going strong and feeling confident. Made an appointment to talk to a therapist I feel like that’ll help and I’m tired of being a slave to my own thoughts and mind. Can’t feel sorry for myself anymore I’m the only one that can do this and it’s gotta be for myself. I’ve honestly surprised myself with how far I’ve made it. Hoping there’s light at the end of the tunnel soon. Also if anyone has any links to support groups for this stuff I’m definitely interested. I live in Massachusetts so if anyone knows of any in the area that’d be great!
     

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