Back after 9 years...Rewiring again

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by superduper, Jun 12, 2021.

  1. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Probably no one around anymore from when I first started this journey back in 2012.
    In 2012 I was still a virgin and addicted to porn, had basically no libido to chase real women and spent it all on porn binges. My first real attempt was successful at least in having sex and cutting the porn out for a very long time.

    Long story short I never fully kicked the porn habit and ED and libido issues still come back. Generally I can still make myself aroused enough to have sex once my libido builds up to a point, but I have a very blunted sex drive and still fall into porn way more than I should, especially since working from home without supervision has me restless and constantly looking to be distracted.

    I've had over 20 sex partners from dating apps and real life by now, and also had something of a prostitute addiction that adds a number of probably 50 to that.

    The problem with prostitutes is that it never really wired my brain to foreplay and intimate sex. Its really just an extension of porn addiction, using a novel situation and exciting thrill to basically masturbate into a professionals pussy. Its nothing like having sex with an organic partner.

    There have been 2 situations that really slapped me in the face and gave me a wakeup call. Once on halloween 2020 where I failed to get aroused for a hot girl I had been wanting to get with for a year. I managed to penetrate in the morning but my erection was so weak it was not great sex and I slipped out of the condom at the end because I shrunk so fast.

    Last night just had a date that should have led to sex but my dicks complete refusal to get aroused made sure that I couldnt do anything and the girl eventually decided to leave when I didnt progress further.

    This shit sucks!

    Also I will say that I have barely had morning wood since being 20, I believe this is also in part from sleep scheduling so thats another issue that I have failed to address still.

    Anyway, goal from here out is pretty simple. No masturbating to porn. I'm not against porn being viewed here and there or receiving nudes. I'm also not against masturbation with imagination, though I will be trying to keep that to a minimum.

    Starting today, will be trying to journal here and there. Probably not every day. I'm here to answer questions too for anyone who is new to it.
     

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