Back... a bit broken but maybe wiser?

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Lowdo, Mar 5, 2019.

  1. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    Good insight Lowdo. Seems like you're justifying / rationalizating ("they upset and hurt me therefore I'm going to self soothe by PMO-ing"). Perhaps you could challenge this thinking and come up with a new response - e.g work on staying calm and being less argumentative & finding healthier coping mechanisms after someone has upset you (you said yourself, it's often over trivial disagreements).
    Lowdo likes this.
  2. Lowdo

    Lowdo Well-Known Member

    Hmmm, that's a good question @realness - I'll need to have a think about a new better response when I'm feeling hurt. Previously, I've always just internalized everything. Which probably doesn't help...
    realness likes this.
  3. Lowdo

    Lowdo Well-Known Member

    Exactly @forlorn - thanks! I need to work on dropping stuff that doesn't matter but speaking up calmly when stuff does matter...
    positivef likes this.
  4. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Active Member

    Hi Lowdo, Sorry for the delay in responding. I never got close to 2 years in the past. I think the longest was around 120 days. However, that was a few years ago and I’m no longer sure how ‘clean’ that reboot was. All my previous reboots relied on willpower, which proved not to be so long lasting...

    I guess that one of the main things is not to bet yourself up over the relapse, but to pick things up from now on.
    Lowdo and positivef like this.
  5. Lowdo

    Lowdo Well-Known Member

    Hey @Clovis6 - no worries, it's nice to hear from you. I've been 'off grid' camping for a while which has been nice.

    Regarding clean streaks, I've never been one for counting days - it works for some people but for me it's always just been about breaking free. Willpower will only get you so far - the real way out is for us to unlearn the unhealthy patterns and mindsets that we've picked up over decades... needless to say, I'm still working on that ;)
  6. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Active Member

    The ‘off-grid’ camping sure sounds good! I haven’t done any camping for a a while, although I’ve been a lifelong camper.

    Hi Lowdo, I’ve read and heard a few tones that counting doesn’t always work, and in some cases can be counter-productive. You’re definitely right about willpower, that’s the big difference I’m making this time around - taking a structured approach t0 recovery rather than trying to grit it out.
    Lowdo likes this.

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