Hey everybody. I'm feel like I'm spilling my guts so this might be a bit long. This is my story. I'm a young guy (21) who grew up a typical social misfit: shy, no confidence, bullied etc. At some point I ate my lunch in the bathroom at school (I've let this all go, this is just to give you an idea). For years I coukd only dream of being with a girl, so I turned to fantasy and... well you know to what else I turned to. My first sexual encounter was at 18, at that moment I could still get hard enough, even though I didn't feel much and sometimes went semi-soft' but I didn't think much of it and blamed it on my girlfriend being "loose" haha. That relationship ended after two months and things then took a turn for the worse. My next encounter I couldn't get hard, blamed it all on anxiety. I never saw that girl again ( that experience SCARRED me). I then became more and more anxious and started looking for ED pills on craigslist, winding up in sketchy places to get them. But even when I took those, the only situation where I could get hard was the next morning if I stayed with the girl, so I pretty much avoided sex, each encounter being more humiliating than the other. The stress was literally killing me: wondering if I would wind up having a sexless youth, watching time and occasions go by. I developped a case of zona, which is extremelly rare amongst young people, and also psoriasis ans other kinds of rashes on my skin. I tought it was pretty cruel twist of fate: I had turned into an attractive ( yet insecure) young man, and chicks were now looking at me, but I couldn't look back. The situation was now the opposite, before I wanted to have sex but was unnatractive, now I was attractive but couldn't have sex. It sucked. And yet I couldn't tell anyone, it was such a burden. (I had told one friend about my first misadventure and he told all my other friends so I decided I wouldn't tell anyone again.) I was beginning to lose all hope when I fell upon YBOP by accident. Funny story, I actually had my other tabs on porn (and the type that I'm not proud to have watched, pretty sick) when I first openned the site, and I told myself I would take a look at it later. I did and EUREKA! Out of the hundreds of internet searches i had made on the subject of my mysterious ED, this was the first one who actually gave me real answers, not just to relax, take deep breaths and not make such a big deal out of it. I've been PM free for about 4 months and a half now, altough I've had sex and orgasms with my girlfriend during that period(we just broke up three weeks ago but still occasionnally hook-up). I'm still not at 100%, maybe 70 and stille not confident about condoms, so now I'm gonna cut on the orgasms and see what happens. PS I'm also getting an operation for a deviated septum in May which causes me to have sleep apnea, and indirectly, less energy and weaker erections, especially in the morning (less oxygen and nitric oxide to my weiner or something like that).