Attempt round 2

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by chrism, Aug 23, 2016.

  1. chrism

    chrism It's time to make a change.

    Just passed a week of being clean.

    Feeling good but need to be careful and just keep focusing and not give in to temptation.

    Peace!
     
  2. chrism

    chrism It's time to make a change.

    Was doing really well, then on Friday I had a moment when I just wasn’t thinking and peeked at a few images and some short videos.

    Then the next day I had a chaser effect and peeked again and edged a bit.

    Then yesterday I wasted a fair bit of time because I was just watching suggestive videos on YouTube.

    I kept pulling myself away from them, but then kept going back. Did that 3 times. Didn’t O but did edge a fair bit.

    Feeling ok today but I am a bit bummed that iv had these relapses.

    Anyway going to just be positive and focus on being the best version of myself and that is the me that does not waste my time on pixels. I am going to just put my time into my relationship and my business.

    Peace!
     
  3. chrism

    chrism It's time to make a change.

    Yeah I’m definitely in a chaser effect stage at the moment.

    I’m finding it hard not to just peek, yesterday (Wednesday) I peeked and then looked at P briefly.

    Edged a bit but managed to stop myself fairly quickly.

    Just feeling a bit less motivated to stay clean since I keep peeking and edging. I am less forcused and a bit distracted. This might be due to it being close to Christmas break and I just can’t wait for a break from work!

    Anyway, gonna try and just keep moving forward and not gonna let my recent relapses hold me back.

    I have started playing a video game again, which leads me to watch YouTube which then leads me to edge. So I took YouTube off my phone yesterday. Life would be a lot easier without social media, but I learn a lot on YouTube so I just need to learn to stick to the good video and not the other ones.

    Peace!
     
  4. chrism

    chrism It's time to make a change.

    This year so far iv o my had one day where I relapsed.

    It was Friday 11th jan. I added it to my new 2019 spreadsheet. Need to add the link on here at some point.

    I could feel it coming on... I had been feeling urges and had been looking at videos on YouTube and then it just escalated.

    I was over two weeks clean, but in that time I had not done any exercises and played a lot of video games.

    I’m now on day 4 and did some exercises yesterday. I feel better today, so gonna try to do a bit more exercise and see if that helps with the situation.

    In general I feel quite good, with an underlying faint depression. It’s kind though and only really feel it when I’m either not doing something or I am feeling cravings.
     

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