I found this site through the NoFap community on reddit. Hello everyone, I'm really glad to be here with some others going through a similar struggle. This is part of a larger change I'm trying to make in my life. I'm your classic failure that ended up living at home, shut into his room, after dropping out of school and quitting work. I discovered porn at age 10 (image search engine), there were never any large periods of time in my life where I went without it since then. In the past, I have considered abstaining, because PMO took up more time than I would have liked, but every time I looked up information about it, it was always in the context of morality and religion and I'm completely non-religious, so that only had the opposite effect of convincing me I was okay. In the past couple of years, it seems to have escalated a lot (both in time and intensity), it got to the point where... well I don't even want to discuss the details, but I finally realized I may have a problem. It got to the point where I found myself planning to make time with my habit, even skipping out on responsibilities or turning down offers from others to "go out", and it has definitely affected my energy levels, I couldn't concentrate on anything for very long because my mind kept going back to PMO, I've slipped into a spiral of depression. To me, this isn't just about stopping PMO because my D2 receptors have downregulated, this about taking control of my life, because I always seem to be out of control. I need a job, I need responsibility, a schedule. I need to go back to school, for my future's sake. I need to spend more time socializing because we were not meant to be loners, including me. I want to know that I am in control of my desires, and my life, and not a slave. I don't want this to be me, and I want to believe change is possible. I need to learn self-control and moderation. I'm very socially liberal in my thinking, but even so, everything requires moderation, and I was past the point of moderation, and due to the cultural environment I grew up in, it never occurred to me to seriously consider PMO could be a problem--my generation grew up with it, and I think this may be a widespread problem that nobody is addressing yet. I don't think stopping PMO will be a magic pill for me, there seems to be a pattern in my life where I keep looking for an obstacle, try to cross it believing everything will magically get better, then it doesn't. I think the problem is more fundamental, I just need to learn some self-control and managing my priorities better, just being realistic and remembering what's important. And, imagine, for over a decade I've let myself become a slave to something and it's slowly gotten worse and worse. Freeing myself from this will help, but I can't stop there, I need to make self-control and self-mastery a habit in everything I do, I need to forget about everyone else, forget what anyone thinks or doesn't think, and just do what I do for me. And PMO is no small matter for me, it's easily my greatest temptation, I've forgone certain things, and haven't considered doing certain things in my life because I worried in the back of my mind, "But how will I have time for PMO?" If When I conquer this, I know I am in control of myself, and an individual. On another note, I've been weightlifting for almost a year which is strange, considering I do nothing else. I've been making good progress, and I think stopping PMO will improve my performance under the bar. I will pay attention to how abstinence affects me in the gym. I'm going to go for 90 days, I'm only on day 2, so far so good. My method of dealing with urges: Walk outside. It's that simple really. Looking in the past, it's an instant horny-killer and just being outside makes me feel good. If that doesn't work, I'll go to a nearby store and be in public with people.