Anyone have success just ignoring their fetish (that isn't porn-induced) and moving on with life?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by wrest472, Feb 6, 2019.

  1. wrest472

    wrest472 New Member

    I'm 35 y/o male and I've always had (for as long as I can remember) a fetish for being physically dominated by attractive women. It is not porn-induced, and I've also never had any attraction to sex or people's genital regions. Being physically dominated by women is the ONLY thing that has ever given me an erection (and I also have a high libido).

    So has anyone else with a "true" fetish (that isn't porn-induced) just been able to successfully ignore their fetish (which also means their entire sexuality i'd assume) and go on with life happy? Or better yet... has anyone been able to start having normal sex after ignoring their fetish (that isn't porn-induced) for long enough? Again, I have no attraction to intercourse and it doesn't do anything to me whatsoever (although could there be a chance that if I ignore my fetish for long enough, I'll for the 1st time be attracted to sex?).

    Although I've always loved my fetish and have countless hours of video of me getting my ass kicked by very attractive women in wrestling, it causes problems for me fitness-wise since it causes me to not exercise and stay healthy (since it's easier for women to win against me if I'm skinny and physically weak). I'm 5'10" 140 lbs and haven't exercised (continuously) in many years on purpose just so women would have an easier time against me.

    So has anyone here with a "true" fetish been able to just ignore their sexuality (maybe by using SSRIs to help which decrease libido) and move on with life?
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2019
  2. Perigee

    Perigee Member

    If your fetish is interfering with the quality of your life, which in your case is preventing you from becoming strong and healthy (and enjoying regular sex with a women), then you should stay the fuck away from it.

    Even the fetish is not from porn, that doesn't mean you should keep reinforcing it. They may die off or may simply lose their "kick" over time.

    I developed a fetish when I was a child (feminization/crossdressing) wayyyy before porn. I don't expect to ever rid myself of it completely. But I do whatever I can to not reinforce it. I've never so much as brought it up with any woman I've been with. It has no impact on my behavior and it doesn't effect my decision making. It's just a fantasy. Maybe it will never truly "die", since synaptic pruning becomes significantly less efficient after adolescence, but that doesn't mean I have to be a slave to it.
     
  3. doneatlast

    doneatlast Active Member

    I have a fetish that I'm suspecting was pre-porn since it is still around 16 months since quitting. But, it is far more manageable.

    I don't need the fetish to feel aroused. With porn, the stuff besides the fetish was meh. the fetish was 80-90% of my porn consumption. I would call my attractions restored to normal, but with the fetish in the background, rather than drowning everything out. When you say that your fetish is the ONLY thing that can arouse you, that part sounds porn induced, even if the fetish is innate.

    Drugs to decrease libido is the wrong path. In fact, libido likely has little to do with it. It is reinforced circuits, likely very strong with the role playing you've done, and the only way to get away is to reboot. If you need SSRIs for other reasons then go for it, but to take them with that expectation seems ill-advised.

    My fetish is definitely still around, and to this day, my biggest "trigger" is if I see something that awakens this fetish. Unfortunately, it is rather G/PG rated (pregnant women), and can be seen virtually anywhere in the world, and anywhere on the internet even with blockers up. Most of the time I can (figuratively) slap myself or splash cold water in my face, snap out of it, and move on with my day. You should be able to avoid yours pretty well, though I imagine some G/PG rated things that would cause problems would be fitness videos, sports, stuff like that. You usually have to give up at least a couple otherwise benign things to successfully do a reboot.

    I'm still trying to figure out its origin. Unfortunately, very little documentation on fetishes is truly scholarly, and my attempts to really research it have been pathetic. I'm not convinced that innate and porn induced are the only two options. Fetishes can arise from early childhood experiences, strange relationships with older people as children, and so forth. A psychological origin is possible, and if you feel stuck you can always find a therapist that specializes in porn/sex addiction to see if something can be worked out. Of course, I don't know you and don't know your life, but it is a distinct possibility. I'd say if you have good insurance that will cover it and live in an area where you can access these professionals, then don't wait another minute. The potential ways to make yourself healthier mentally, emotionally and physically go on and on.
     
  4. Relife

    Relife New Member

    How do you know that tree is exist? You see it or you read about or listen to someone talk about it.
    Your fetish about being dominated is either from porn or from your imagination.
    I think you are a person of wide imagination. You imagine this and then you give it a try and whatever is new is interesting so you keep doing it untill be apart of your routine.
    You imagine your self in a dominated position so you keep your self skinny to empowering this image.
    My friend if you don't believe that you will ruin your life , you will go on , think about it and imagine someone you love and think that this fetish will definitely ruin this relationship because she will never do it.
    Sex affect your life , if you imagine being dominated you will act like this in life. You will like women to dominate your opinion , your pesonality.
    Life will never go on like that , you need to be powerful , have a dream and don't empower your fetish then you will leave a room in your mind to imagine and feel joy with the normal sex.
    You should be free because you are human and life isnot all about sex so you need to dominate your mind to express yourself.
    Hope you recover but you should believe that it is something you need to recovered from and never believe that it is innate, any thing is induced by something.
     
  5. wrest472

    wrest472 New Member

    So are you able to have normal sex also? And were you able to have normal sex when you had the fetish?

    I definitely developed my fetish way before porn (and even remember keeping track of which girls could run more laps than me in school). Actually, I didn't even ejaculate (or have any wet dreams) for the 1st time until I was 18 years old (which is also when I discovered "mixed wrestling"). Well, the problem is that absolutely nothing else has ever aroused me (although I do want a relationship with a woman)... so if I ignore this fetish (the desire to be dominated physically i.e. wrestling) and just get physically strong and masculine, then I won't have a sexuality anymore (which maybe is okay)...

    So I'm wondering if it's worth it to just ignore this fetish (and thus, have no sexuality) and get physically strong (like I want to), and then get a wife, etc.
     
  6. Perigee

    Perigee Member

    Yes, although I do use boner pills when I start having sex with a new girl. That said once I establish a regular sexual relationship with them, I usually don't need them.

    I thought that I'd become asexual without this fetish too but that's simply untrue. Your brain remains plastic throughout your life, it will just take longer as you get older.
     
  7. wrest472

    wrest472 New Member

    hmm Viagra seems interesting because in my case MAYBE it could work... This is usually what would happen when I started making out with a girl: Get an erection, then when she starts wanting sex I lose the erection (so maybe Viagra could help here, even if I'm not fully aroused).
     

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