Any Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) on here? Who never want to marry or date women?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by auzzie_mikey, Jul 4, 2019.

  1. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Active Member

    Hey guys. Just wondering if they are any MGTOW men on here who never want to marry or date women because of bad experience they have had with women?

    I hadn't liked any girl or was never serious for any girl in the last 3 to 4 years. last year in 2018, I met this girl and just thought she would be the type for me. She just lead me on and kept wanting attention from me and then said that She couldn't date me...

    That experience was enough for me just to stay away from women. I just see women with their boyfriends just looking at other guys and still kissing or hugging their bf. Anyone share the same sentiment with me about women?
     
  2. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Active Member

  3. -Luke-

    -Luke- Active Member

    Dude, seriously?
     
  4. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Active Member

    Yes mate I see it all the time.
     
  5. XFinity

    XFinity Withdrawal is a bitch.

    Holy crap Mikey, you're still on here long time no see!!
     
  6. Universal

    Universal New Member

    This isn't a topic I've thought about for awhile so I'm just going to spill some of my thoughts and figure out what I have come to believe as I go.



    I used to consider myself MGTOW. I don't anymore, I'll tell you why.

    Why did I used to consider myself MGTOW? Because I learned just how often it is that people cheat, the thought of that kind of betrayal made me sick to my stomach, in my mind all Women became entirely unreliable. I also learned about hypergamy and many of the other red-pill ideas. This disgust of cheating arose from the belief in monogamy, honesty and loyalty. Honesty and loyalty are very good traits, it sucks to have them broken. Being cheated on was one of my biggest fears/disgusts EVER growing up and I was cheated on at 18 and tbh I wasn't critically burnt from that experience, it sucked but I survived easier than I thought I would. But I didn't consider myself MGTOW until I came across some of these red-pill ideas and was experiencing a lot of anger.. Anger and depression because my mental model of the world (honesty, loyalty) didn't match what I was discovering the real world to be. If there are two things that hit me the hardest it was my dispelling the myth of 'the one / soul mate / oneities'. It's the belief of a soul mate or a perfect match, every person each having a special someone. This is akin to a super-natural belief or a 'True World Theory' as Nietzsche would put it. The second is just how easily a Women can move on from a Man.

    Why don't I consider myself MGTOW?

    My mental model of the world changed, back to the 'soul mate' thing - You end up realizing that though there isn't your one perfect life-long match out there, there is the opportunity to develop a lot of great, unique relationships. I don't consider myself MGTOW because I believe relationships are worth having, regardless of the outcome, the experience of the moment is enough. It doesn't have to go on forever for it to be worth enough. A good sport match doesn't have to continue forever for it to be a meaningful game.

    I do agree, it is shocking how many people are still keeping their eyes open while with another person. But that's just the era we live in, culturally enforced monogamy is essentially dead and promiscuity is on the rise. AFAIK monogamy is only a few hundred years old in the west. Cheating, it does happen and it does happen far more than I think most of us are comfortable with. If there's one thread of hope left it's that cheating doesn't tend to happen when both partners are happy with each other and that can actually be very freeing. We just need to learn how to stay on top of our game and keep our partners happy - part of that includes only keeping them around if they're keeping us happy also, enforcing boundaries early and often. I think staying on top of a relationship requires us to first stay on top of our lives, if we make our lives our priority and not our intimate relationships then if it all falls to shit we have something to keep us from crashing and burning. I think that's the key - we need to hold the confidence in ourselves (through discipline and developing ourselves) that whatever happens in our lives ultimately we will be okay and bounce back, relationships are a COMPLIMENT to life - the only life essentials we truly have are food, water, sleep and sun - everything else is extras. If she cheats? Well that's too bad, NEVER talk to her again. Yes she was special but she was a compliment and NOT my 'everything'. As I said, we can usually stop cheating from occurring before it happens.

    You know man, I'm actually baffled at how comfortably I can now utter the phrase "If she cheats? Well that's too bad". This would be unthinkable for me to write comfortable even 2 years ago.

    Here's a quick anecdote:

    The girl I'm seeing right now got out of a 3 year relationship the day before getting with me. I had been talking to her most days (mutual environment) for a couple months, I did like her but I wasn't pursuing her or trying to get her to cheat or anything because I knew she was in a relationship. On the surface, yes I know.. I would hate to think a partner of mine would get with someone else after 3 years. But in reality it's more like 2 years and 6 months - you see, relationships don't just go from perfect to zero in one day, relationships die but continue for months. Now, this girl is extremely attracted to me and had good reasons for leaving her ex - but the fact she had the decency to break it off before touching me is some level of proof that some level of integrity still exists, she very easily could have done so earlier. In reality it's both her and her ex partners fault for not identifying it's death 6 months ago and either mending it or calling it off. Anyway my point is.. relationships die over time and it's our responsibility as a member of a relationship to identify this and fix it.

    Will I ever get married? I doubt it. It would be smart not to involve the government in personal relationships, but I don't have anything against committing to a person within reason.


    To summarize:

    1) Choose a girl who chooses you.
    2) Relationships don't need to go on forever to be meaningful in the moment.
    3) You need to construct yourself a life that can anchor you against rough times (this drastically helps #1). This is pseudo-MGTOW, you create your own path and others are welcome to join if you choose to let them and they are worthy.
    4) Relationships are a compliment to life, that means they are a bonus experience and though valuable, not critical.
    5) Cheating occurs but typically in relationships which are dieing, it's our responsibility to identify this. If she cheats, never talk to her ever again - full cold turkey.
    6) We must educate ourselves.
    Three books I recommend you check out:

    The tactical guide to women - Shawn T. Smith
    No more Mr Nice guy - Robert Glover
    Gendernomics - Carl Adaugeo

    Some guys lurch at the idea of learning about women and relationships. Fact of the matter is that no one teaches us, 99% of fathers don't, society doesn't and yet we're expected to perform to a high standard. Interpersonal relationships are some of the most complex things we will ever face.

    This is not easy stuff man, a raw look at the world is a very bitter thing at first. Life is a very brief window of opportunity, it's worth experiencing all it has to offer.

    Ultimately I think it's about courage.

    To quote 'No Country for Old Men': "You have to be willing to say, okay, I'll be part of this world".
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2019
    Londoner and Pete McVries like this.

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