I just relapsed after 31 days. I feel so fucking destroyed right now. I have a problem with cuckold/femdom porn and I had been doing great up until a couple days ago when urges suddenly became very strong after seeing an accidental porn image of the femdom nature. After seeing that urges came back so strong. The entire time I thought to myself how much I fucking hate this and want to quit, I don't even enjoy the situations shown in these types of porn. I want nothing less than to see someone else with a girl I'd want. I actually only started watching cuck porn in the past year and have only seen it a handful of times, yet somehow my urges to watch it are incredibly strong. My theory is that every standard porn I watched was cuck porn inside my head because of the penis size ect, is there any truth to this theory? Today I had such strong urges, my heart was racing and I felt such a struggle to not watch it, I eventually caved and watched it and when I did, while I had a strong erection and quick orgasm, I felt no joy. I watched cuckold-adjacent porn videos and felt nothing but shame and intense anxiety. I feel so dead inside now and so ashamed. I feel horrible that I lost my streak and I have a big moment in my life coming up in less than 15 days, I wanted to have over 40 days but now I don't I want to fucking cry reading this. I hate this shit so much and I want to quit it, these genres of porn are not my fetish I hate them so much I need to feel normal again. I have thought about killing myself so much in the past week. I feel so demoralized that I have undone some progress I made rewiring my brain away from these genres of porn. I NEED my brain to rewire so badly, it's torture to have to walk down the street and every time I see an attractive woman my mind immediatly jumps to someone else fucking her I hate it so much and can't go on like this. I'm sorry if this post is completely rambling but I need help from people who have gone through anything similar to this. I hear that the best way to quit femdom type porn is not only not watching it but not thinking about the fetish or worrying about it, is there any truth to this?