Anxiety out of control and seeking reassurance

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Crow442, Sep 16, 2022.

  1. Crow442

    Crow442 New Member

    Ok, so I started masturbating and watching porn since 2009, because of sadness, feeling worthless, depressed, and for a lot more, high school was hell, so I was using it for escaping, I've been addicted since then. I'm now 29 I'm not proud of myself, but it is so hard to quit. Life is so scary to me, everything seems so dark, dangerous, I am constantly scared at anything, and I don't even know why. I don't have a job either and I live with my parents, I got nothing to worry or be scared about, yet every day it's like I feel it could be my last. I just want you guys to know that I am working on projects so that one day I can work on my own, it's going great, I am not just sitting playing video games or being lazy, I am doing the best I can but I feel so alone and helpless, perhaps even hopeless...

    Can porn increase anxiety like this? I think of death every day, I fear of fucking my life up, I fear that I will die and regretting everything, I fear of not living to my fullest potential, dying alone, not having friends or be able to work at something that I enjoy to do. I feel lost, each time I quit for about 5 days I end up crying like I was a man in his period or something, I cry about my dogs who passed away, about my grandpas, my past, my friends I've lost, missing all the good moments I had playing video games but not being able to go back in those days, remembering when I was happy and living in the present moment, and so much more.

    Then my brains tells me that Nofap is a cult or it's just some people who are religious and they are just ashamed about themselves and that quitting gave them purpose, or quitting makes them think they become stronger with super powers. I go on YouTube and when I type Nofap those videos are just clickbaits, or content creator who are using Nofap to make money, they keep relapsing and promising to stop, and then they do another clickbait video...

    Then I relapse. Each time this is what happens.

    I don't know what to do...

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