Anxiety about PIED, flatline, and other problems

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by lobolatu1900, May 29, 2023.

  1. lobolatu1900

    lobolatu1900 New Member

    Hi everyone, first-time poster here. I'm just going to write from my heart, just everything that's on my mind right now, because it's a lot.

    TLDR - Timeline:
    - Age 10-12
    : Started watching porn (I'm 22 now)
    - Age 20: Tried having sex while still hooked on porn and it failed (not sure if the cause was lack of foreplay or PIED)
    - Age 21: Got into long-distance relationship
    - 2 months ago: Tried having sex after about 1 week of abstaining from porn, it failed too. (performance anxiety or PIED, and couldn't stay hard after foreplay)
    - 2 months ago: Succeeded at receiving oral (erection was only 70-80%, though)
    - 1 month ago: Stopped PMOing
    - 3 weeks ago: "relapsed" when FaceTiming girlfriend
    - now: Haven't watched porn in 30+ days, haven't had orgasm in 20+ days. I believe I reached the flatline, and I'm scared that I won't be able to perform when I see my girlfriend next time (in about 6 months). Should I see a urologist to be sure that there's nothing physically wrong? Should I go to therapy because of this anxiety? Should I just keep going and not change anything? I've read some posts here of people who have been in the flatline for 3+ years and honestly, I don't know if I could mentally survive that. I'm just scared.

    My story
    I first started watching porn when I was 10-12. I'm 22 now
    . For 12 years I've been PMOing. In the beginning it was once every few days and later on, in my worst phase it was 5+ times every day for multiple consecutive weeks, if not months.

    I first tried quitting in 2019, when I discovered NoFap, but my approach was completely wrong. I thought that the problem was the O part of PMO, so I still watched P and did M, but just tried not to O, so basically I was edging. My longest streak was 14 days, then I just kind of gave up.

    Last year I got into my first relationship. We were both still virgins and she wasn't comfortable doing anything sexually, other than clothed grinding. One night it kind of just felt like the right time, so we tried having sex. It was already 2am so there were no stores to buy condoms, so we just went to one of those vending machines. There was only one size so I bought that one (I didn't know what size I'd need, and what would fit). Then we went into bed and I tried to pull the condom on. It didn't work. The first problem is that the condom was too small, and I wasn't really hard enough either way. Now, I'm not sure if that was because of (PI)ED or because there was literally no foreplay, but I felt horrible. That was the first time I knew that I had to make a change.

    Fast forward 1 year, I have a new girlfriend. This time it's a long distance relationship. We were going to get together a few months back, so 2 weeks before that I decided to stop watching porn in order to be able to perform, but it didn't really work. Then we were together.
    We tried having sex, and again, I wasn't hard enough to pull the condom on. There was foreplay, but whenever there was a break from stimulation for 10+ seconds (like, when switching positions, or getting up to go get condoms, etc.) the erection went away almost completely (I'd say to about 30-40%). I was devastated, but then I talked to her about my problems (PIED) and that we probably won't be able to have sex this time. We got into an argument and she was very disappointed, but eventually she accepted it.
    During this short time we did however manage to have oral sex. I suffered PE a few times, and I was never 100% hard during oral sex, only about 70-80%, but it worked. The only few times I didn't ejaculate prematurely, I had the complete opposite problem: DE. It was so bad that I had to tell her to do it faster, but eventually I did orgasm.

    Current situation and thoughts
    As of this writing, I haven't watched porn in 30+ days and haven't masturbated or had orgasm in 20+ days (there was 1 time when we did some stuff over FaceTime, so I relapsed). I believe that I reached the flatline, and it's absolutely terrifying. My GF and I already planned for the next time we'll be together, which will be in about 6 months, so now I'm very anxious about what's going to happen if I can't perform in 6 months either. This could potentially be the end of our relationship.
  2. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    I had almost the same experience, I recommend getting ED pills for the first 5-10 sex. you will slowly gain sexual experience and know that you are no longer a virgin no matter what, it help you become more relaxed and lower your performance anxiety. Nothing shameful about it.
    Good luck. We are with you.

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