Another New start

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by ghostrider, Sep 22, 2016.

  1. Jam

    Jam Active Member

    Man, most of us can totally relate - we get down - the dopamine addict says - hey, I have a solution... The most important thing I learned the other night is that I have to be willing to live with the discomfort/pain. You have to build in healthy mechanisms so that you aren't alone and white-knuckling all the time - but there will be times and you just have to accept it and train your mind to handle it in different ways - easier said than done - keep at it. You are doing great.
     
  2. ghostrider

    ghostrider Member

    Thanks Jam. So far so good. Must be close to 30 days since the last mo/edging episode. Getting easier but need to be prepared it dig in.Didn't really believe I could overcome PIED before. Only hoped. We need more than that. I'm coming round to idea that maybe now is my time.

    Coming back here is certainly helping. Glad to have all your support.
     
  3. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yup, it is!
     
  4. Jam

    Jam Active Member

    It's been done. By a lot of guys. I think it will work for us, too - in time. Only one way to find out though.

    Keep pressing on.
     
  5. ruggerdoug

    ruggerdoug Well-Known Member

    Hi ghostrider, welcome. I'm behind a cast of awesome characters with the welcome call. Not much more to add to the wisdom share so far. Glad you are here!

    Rugger
     
  6. Beowulf

    Beowulf Member

    Yes it is when I gave up hope that I can binge.
     
  7. Beowulf

    Beowulf Member

    How are you getting on Ghostrider?
     
  8. ghostrider

    ghostrider Member

    I'm not too bad thanks Beowolf. Not too much to report. A few close calls when I started to MO for a few seconds but managed to stop before really starting. Hopefully in the clear for a bit now. This has got to be my best attempt at rebooting yet and I'm keen to stick with it. Downside is real libido nowhere to be seen but after being around here for so long I know it's not uncommon and I've a long road to travel yet. I'm ploughing through it. Really want win this time. Thanks for asking and stopping by.
     
  9. Jam

    Jam Active Member

    Great news that this is your best reboot attempt, GR! Keep at it. I continue to believe that there is a wholeness and wellness out there for us all. I have caught small glimpses of it. No, life isn't magically fixed. But it is better than what it was in the past. Keep pressing on.
     
  10. bobjes

    bobjes Active Member

    Go for it Ghost!
    You can do this! Even I made it to day 70 and I cannot believe how different the world looks 2.5 months later.
     
  11. ghostrider

    ghostrider Member

    Thanks again for the encouragement guys. Great to see you both doing well in this fight.

    There is a better life to be had than this and you're right Jam, life now is way better than the past. I often think how much better life would be if I hadn't spent so long in the rabbit hole though. Why didn't I see the warning signs? My libido fell off a cliff yet I didn't notice! Lots of regret and hurt that I went the way I did. Perhaps if I had had a partner a the time things would be different today. If only.......

    Had to get that of my chest.

    The past is a different country however and I'm in this for a brighter future. No turning back now.
     
  12. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    This is awesome, ghostrider. I still have some regrets, moments of grief, but I don't wallow there anymore. We get health and then the next past, the healthy-us-past, will be worth spending some time in.

    Peace, bro'.
     
  13. ghostrider

    ghostrider Member

    Thanks Saville. Yes, this is my outlook on it too but often wonder where the tipping point was and why I didn't see it.

    All good today. I'm getting close to 60 days.
     
  14. bobjes

    bobjes Active Member

    Wow, day 60! I wish you would change your emoticon to something more neutral rather than that sad face. (in the 40+ start page)
    Day 60 is worth a smile. :)
     
  15. ghostrider

    ghostrider Member

    Good point Bob. Not quite ready for the smiley face but the sad one is outta here.

    Don't want to get too caught up in numbers as I've a feeling there's a long long way to go and don't want to think too far ahead of myself but its good to be here all the same.
     
  16. Jam

    Jam Active Member

    Hey GR - That is awesome that you are coming up onto 60. IMO those numbers are strange in that they are not that important - it is the recovery that matters, but they are very important because being PMO-free is so crucial to the recovery. Celebrate the milestones. In the end I think they are meaningful marks of progress, of distance travelled. Stick with it.

    I know regret all too well. There are a lot of what-if questions that roll around in my head. I am trying to turn them more positive, though. I'm viewing them as lessons learned and feeling like there is this new life stretching out ahead of me. It won't be all rainbows and kittens (to use 40's phrase). There are still challenges and trials ahead, but I also had felt like my sexuality was on this inevitable downward trajectory. The world and any of it's pleasures was just growing so dull. I love that I have hope now and interest in many more things. I am feeling things more. So I look at the past to remind myself that I don't want to go there.

    Keep pressing on brother. This is awesome stuff you are engaged in.
     
  17. ghostrider

    ghostrider Member

    Hi Jam, yes numbers are are important but I've come unstuck on prevous attempts at rebooting when I've focused on them endlessly. Big numbers always seemed untenable back then and I'd have that one MO, then two, then daily for weeks before admitting to myself that I'm neither rebooting or recovering. I've been in that loop for a long time.
    Month to month these days and it's likely to take many of them yet. I'm ready for it.
     
  18. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yup! :)
     
  19. bobjes

    bobjes Active Member

    Howzit going Ghostrider?

    Thumbs up to you wherever you are. :)
     
  20. newleaf63

    newleaf63 Member

    hello gr.

    glad to hear you are on the path. one thing I've learnt over the last years and am realising now i have rejoined the forum is that we are not denying ourselves anything by stopping look at porn, rather we are enriching ourselves. this process is so important in becoming the people that we would like to be.

    keep posting and reading other journals, its so important. what id forgotten about the forum is just how good it is to feel we are not alone and lost anymore.

    all the best
     
    devnull likes this.

Share This Page