This will serve as the beginning to the journal that I am going to use during my healing process. I intend for this to be a real and rugged in depth look at all aspects of the journey I am about to undertake. I have never tried keeping a journal of my experience but I believe that this will be one more outlet I can depend on when the bad days hit. A little bit about myself: Started masturbating very young. Like 10 or 11. From about 14-28 I would watch internet porn and PMO 1-3 times a day without fail. Tastes in porn got way more out there the older I got. I’ve had a lot of faps I’m not proud of. My addiction to porn and my onset PIED cost me the one girl I actually loved in my early 20’s. This fucked me up a great deal fueling my depression and various insecurities. Even after that I continued my addiction for years, never telling another soul about it at all. Naturally I was pure shit at attracting ladies. The occasional one night stands I would pull got worse. Severe ED and even if I could get somewhat hard PE was a fucking problem. I finally quit being in denial about the problem almost two years ago which is when I came across YBOP and in truth the healing process actually started. At the time of this entry I am almost a month removed from porn. Can’t remember the actual quit date, I just got to a point where I said fuck this and quit before I went abroad for two weeks. I haven’t given up MO over the course of the month and I feel that I really needed to do that as well. I’m calling today day one since I have had no release since last night. Right now the only goal right now is the basic 90 days hard mode. After 90 days I will only allow myself to orgasm with a partner when the situation presents itself. Ultimately I just want to fall in love with a beautiful woman, and actually have good sex for once, but I can’t fully love a woman when I am just a hollow shell of a man at this point. I wasted the prime of my life on this addiction and I’m never going to get that back. I think that’s why I’m doing so well at not looking at porn so far. I’m angry about my situation but I’m channeling that anger into positive motivation. Little lessons like this are going to help me along the way. All things considered today was definitely a step in the right direction. On to day 2.