Another data point for over 50's.

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by WastedYouth, Apr 2, 2018.

  1. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Greetings chaps.
    Well nearly at the "90" day mark (hard mode) but not counting much anymore. Feeling more confident but still have some social anxiety which is pathetic for a guy my age but I am getting out of the house as often as I can and keeping busy in general. I'm going to pursue the next opportunity that may come my way with women but take it slow. I have this internal calmness inside of me and no desire for PMO or MO so far in this streak. I'm doing intense cardio once a week at the local gym and some weight training too. Hey I'm 54. I think the cardio is important even though I do some weight training and pushups at home every day of the week. Just finished reading "No More Mr Nice Guy" and can relate to it 100%. Started reading "The Slight Edge" too. I've reduced my time on "recovery" fora too, though I do read the occasional "success stories" for motivation. Clarity of thought is amazing at the moment. Feelings of loneliness are less intense than they used to be. I put myself first over the weekend and caught up with a friend of mine who was having a party. Under the circumstances and in my PMO days, I would have passed on this particular opportunity but instead took the +1 hour drive and had a great time socialising with the young ladies (and fellas) at the party. One lady commented on my "pecs" and was all touchy feely (and damn hot too!) but I knew she was partnered (partner went home earlier with their young child) so I didn't get too personal with her. Still, I got the impression she was attracted to me (I'm old enough I think to know these things). So a good boost to the old ego. She said I'll probably find a young 22yo girl (her words). You know, while that comment might have been a bit tongue-in-cheek, I really didn't care because my aim is to have a loving relationship with a lady more my own age and I think nofap has given me this clarity of thought and deep respect for women. Life is too short for fapping!
     
    Libertad, Boxer17, 40New30 and 2 others like this.
  2. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Hi WastedYouth for me this post is motivational,well done on 88 days so far,don't worry about having a bit of social anxiety everyone has some,and that clarity of thought great isn't it just shows you the harm porn does.Well done on going to your friends party,by putting the effort in to stopping PMO it gives us the mental energy to put the effort in to doing these kind of things,and it's good you socialised with men as well that helps with your more natural masculine side of you (no more Mr nice guy) and the women will like that;)
     
  3. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I love that my mind is clear now. The Fog of Porn is nowheresville.

    Amen!
     
    40New30 likes this.
  4. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I had to go into 'monk mode' at the beginning or I would relapse, but I was a bad case. Think of it this way, we want to re-wire to reality :)
    So, if looking at sweet asses doesn't cause relapse, it's only beneficial.

    I live and work next to a large college campus and was driving around today in the spring weather, it was...well you know.
     
    dig deep likes this.
  5. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Thanks man.
    I have to report that for the last day or two, I am in a bit of a flatline. Whereas previously I would get regular MW, today I got nothing. My nocturnals are good. Pretty lifeless down there today. My sleep patterns have improved and my gut tells me that perhaps some real rebooting is happening now. I was reading a post by "Mousemat1" on RN who said that he knew he was rebooted when his MW would not go down when he got out of bed in the morning and that he also got solid spontaneous erections during the day. I'm wondering if anyone in this group has had those experiences too. Really into these cold showers now.
     
    dig deep likes this.
  6. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I posted about this not long ago. I'm almost 60 and sometimes when I'm out and about I'll get an erection for no reason. It's weird to have to hold a box of cereal over my crotch so people can't see my boner. :D Cold showers are the absolute bomb!
     
  7. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Thanks for the feedback Saville.

    It's my 90 day monk mode milestone today and I was thinking of something motivational to say to our community of sufferers to keep their resolve in their fight for a better life. What sprang to mind was the sad dichotomy of some of the aging male P stars who us "pixel pervs" used to jack off to and who are still in the industry today making money and having sex with beautiful young women while unknowingly leaving a legacy of faceless, broken and emasculated men around the world who wallowed in their misery due to their P addiction. These broken men (and some women I guess) probably had sad relationships and broken marriages (like me) and never realised their true potential in life. Worse still, nobody really knew who they were since they were often reclusive while indulging in their P obsession. Think about that for a moment. Of all the abundance in the world, these poor guys deprived themselves of human contact, love and affection. A fundamental human experience. I was/am still a reasonably attractive guy and could never fathom the reason why I did so poorly with women in my younger days. I was bullied in school and frequently got "the strap" at home for being disobedient. I had low self-esteem and little self confidence and a ton of social anxiety. Likely a common profile for P addicts. When I did make the effort to better myself and go out and socialise - bang, I met girls and my future wife. This is a journey of discovery for all of us and I wish a happy outcome for all.
     
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  8. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Well said, WastedYouth.

    I agree with your description of the P industry. We really have participated in an epic tragedy. Because we watch, or have watched P, we have contributed to the misery of all involved. We didn't know, just as those in the industry don't know, our complicity, but now we do.

    90 days, my friend. A great milestone and your journey is only just beginning. I'm excited for you!
     
  9. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    There are no winners in the porn industry only losers but for most it takes quite a while until they realise it,even the couples that swing and film their wives with other men I they have the most saddest lives, its best out of this sad life we can't help everyone only ourselves and our brother on here.
     
    Saville likes this.
  10. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Thanks for your kind words of encouragement Saville.
    I'm hopeful and in good spirits. A stark contrast from when I first felt the subtle effects of PIED late last year and had no idea of the cause and resigned myself to a life of less intimacy.
    Really impressed with your success!
     
    Boxer17 and Saville like this.
  11. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Well put Deep. Hoping to get better one day and experience life like I never have before.
    Best.
     
  12. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Hi Chaps.
    Possible triggers below.
    As I mentioned to Saville in a PM, I met up with this babe this weekend and we had sex.
    I had PIV sex with her about six times but only lasted about 5 minutes on three occasions at 90% hardness. I gave her heaps of oral orgasms though and she was definitely ready for my cock on each occasion. Also, when we first started out naughty weekend, she managed to make me cum with a handjob but the next day, no cum orgasm even when my dick which was 95% was getting a super bj from her, so some DE issues. I was hoping for longer PIV sex and to orgasm inside her but never got there. I was frequently getting had to passionate kissing and cuddling but tended to lose my erection when I started to go PIV. Any hope for me? PMO hard mode for the past 4 months for me with a short exposure to P on an adult dating website which was a dumb mistake but I didn't M or O on that single occasion. I'd be curious to know if others have had similar PIV short sessions where you can penetrate but not last.
    Cheers.
     
  13. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    First of all: awesome! I love the energy and courage you are showing. The fact is we reboot with a real person or not at all. Bravo!

    Secondly, what I'm reading sounds kind of normal for guys in a reboot. It took me awhile before the brain and pecker understood they were a team. My wife gave me hand jobs the first few times, until I said I didn't want them anymore. The fact that you are getting good erections while making out shows the plumbing is in great order. When I first began my journey I thought of my wife as an orifice. I even used fantasy to help me get over the hump, or rather, the fantasy just crept in and I went with it. Over time we become more sensitive, more attuned to real physical touch. The other day I helped my wife get off, but lots of times I have sex and it's just for me. If she doesn't O then I don't care. PIV sex is just rewiring and it absolutely will happen for you.
     
  14. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Thanks for your positive words of encouragement Saville. Need those right now. I tried my hardest to stay in the moment with her too - no thoughts of porn scenes. I guess I need more time and need to be realistic that 40 years of porn (9 years of HSIP) takes a while to get over. Will continue to journal here for anyone who is interested.
     
  15. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    WY, are you taking cold showers? I have found these to be awesome. I personally believe they help with DE. Could be superstition, but I'm going with it. :)
     
  16. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Hi Saville.
    Yes I have been taking cold showers though maybe not as cold as you. Winter here now but definitely my showers are on the cool side and make me sing out loud when the water first hits me. It then feels like going for a swim.
    In my part of the world, ocean temps are cold even in Summer so quite used to it.
    Meeting up with my new gf again on the weekend. She's understanding so I'm hoping to do a bit of rewiring with her.
     
    Saville likes this.
  17. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    This is perfect! There are great women out there. :)
     
  18. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Nice weekend again with my new gf. I don't want to jinx myself but I thought that I did alright as I was more relaxed with her than last week. Had PIV sex at least a dozen times, maybe more with a solid erection but only in missionary position. Came once inside her which was progress for me. Had a couple of ten minute PIV sessions and the rest were around the 5 minute mark before I went a bit soft and had to recover after half an hour to an hour or so. Also had some red wine which seemed to calm me down as I don't normally drink. Refractory period, in that passionate kissing would get my pecker up again was around the half hour mark or so which surprised me. She's a very passionate lady and we connect on an emotional level. All in all, I can't complain and didn't expect this sort of performance. I think she is helping tremendously with my recovery.
     
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  19. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Houston, we have ignition! :cool:
     
  20. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    Just a small journal entry today.
    I can confirm that having an orgasm has a minor negative effect on the early phases of the rebooting process. At our most recent encounter, I got a 100% boner when we started fooling around which lasted for 5-10 minutes with PIV sex. After I went a bit soft, we played around a bit until I got hard again. She wanted me to cum inside her so off we went again and I finally dumped a solid load inside her at 100% hardness. First one for ages for me. After that we took a bit of a break and then she gave me one of her super bjs that got me rock hard for a while but then I went soft and felt depleted for the evening. I have to say that we had some red wine and it was all a bit of a rush cos she had to leave for work the next day as I had to too. I think karezza style sex may be the go for a while as suggested by others here as my last documented entry in which I didn't cum allowed me to have quite a few more satisfying PIV sessions over a longer time period where I was more relaxed too.
     
    dig deep likes this.

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