The first time I ever saw porn was when my friend Lawrence brought a Playboy to school in the first grade. I still remember the pictures that I saw, the poses, the lingerie and the the suggestive poses. When we first got internet I used to sneak online and search for xxx pics or sex pics on yahoo. This was the first time that I was exposed to hardcore porn. This was somehow a forbidden world where I can sneak in and see what people actually do behind closed doors. There was a liquor store close to my house that would sell hardcore vhs porn movies. I had been going there to purchase candy since I was a kid. The guys that worked there knew me, and as a teenager they would let me buy the videos. Before my parents came home from work I used to watch and masturbate to the videos. Even though I was alone with the videos for some time I would only do this once or twice a week. When I got to college my addiction amplified 100%. Not only was I away from home, but I was now alone in a dorm room where I had T1 high speed internet access. I would spend hours online surfing porn sites and masturbating. My appetite for softcore porn escalated to hard core, then to asian and indian porn, to milfs, granny porn etc. I still was disgusted by tranny and gay porn, but I would explore to find that new "high." I was still young so my real life sexual interactions did not suffer, but I would mastubate 3-5 times a day. As an older adult I attempted to come to terms with my addiction by quitting several times. The longest I have gone was 2 weeks. One time within the last year I came across a video of what I thought was lesbian porn. They were two women kissing but it turned out to be tranny porn. I wanted to turn it of as I was usually disgusted but I felt a strong dopamine rush going over my body and I ended up mastubating. This was a very very disturbing moment. This was the start of my spiraling out of control with porn. From time to time I would look at tranny porn, more as a curiosity, but I would look nonetheless. This led me to have obsessive thoughts about my sexuality, though I have never in my life been attracted to men. I would sometimes watch gay porn to "check" and make sure that I was not turning gay. Which I am sure that I was not. Because I was not in a relationship at the time, I used porn and masturbation to satisfy 100% of my sexual appetite. I then read a book about sexual addiction where the author described in detail his addiction to visiting massage parlors. I figured if he could be cured of visiting massage parlors, I might as well check it out, at least it would stop me from using porn so often. I went to a massage parlor, and from day one I was hooked. I spend thousands of dollars at massage parlors over the last couple of years, going weekly at times. I never had sex at a massage parlor, but I would use the parlors to get an erotic release. It came to a point where if I was driving and I saw a sign that said massage, I would instantly visit, and make excuses for why I was late to wherever I was going. It was an expensive habit and I payed for it dearly. I'm now broke, depressed, and still addicted to porn I have been binging on porn for the past week, but I am ready to finally put this behind me, like I have done with the massage parlors. Tomorrow will be day one, for I have already failed today. I am looking forward to the journey.