An excellent ebook about how to convert Allen Carr's quit smoking method to use to quit PMO

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by manofk, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    I'm reading the book.

    I thought it was an adaptation of Allen Carr's book, so I'm disappointed to see that many of the claims and stories are just plain lies (for example, the author didn't actually spent 30 years fapping, the testimonials are fake, etc).

    But still, I will finish reading it because what really matter are the lessons and ideas. So far I totally agree that fear of quitting is probably the main reason we fail to leave porn behind for good.
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2017
  2. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex


    Yes, with that mentality I went 8 days swiftly albeit peeking a little here and there but nothing serious at all. After 7 days, the cravings were non-existent. I felt so scared and confused. The question my mind asks itself is "Do I even have a libido?" "Why am I not jumping at the idea of porn anymore?". "where is that voice inside my head that influences me to watch porn when I am free at home?" That fear made me MO yesterday. And, I also realized that absence of cravings and porn induced sexual lust is the reason for the flatline. Why? because those 2 elements have become a part of our sexual identity, so when we erase them from our sexual appetite we sort of lose our sexual identity, well at least in the corridors of our minds. So, that fear is a real fear, Terrible thing. I would jack off 100 times in a day to not feel that feeling again. But, alas, we know the way forward is to get through the flatline because according to ybop, it isn't just an absence of libido, it is a rebooting, re-organizing, re-energizing, hibernating our natural libido. That is the true fear, confronting it and making it seem comfortable in our minds, has helped me big time, it can help you as well. Who cares, if the testimonials are fake or whatever, want real ones? go to reddit/nofap, ybop, etc etc.
     
  3. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear Underdog...
    (1) Before quitting I had 32 yrs of this vicious habit.
    (2) All feedbacks you see in the comment section is a copy from rebootnation.org and this forum. One of the reason I kept the site as a 'closed' one is this accusation.
    http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=11997.0
    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/an-excellent-ebook-about-how-to-convert-allen-carrs-quit-smoking-method-to-use-to-quit-pmo.36712/
    (3) The testimonials that are within the book itself are hacked - but they are copied from various forums and logs available on the internet. Since they are not addressed to me or the forums I had to leave it as it is. You know what - I can go and edit them out and the hackbook will still stand on its own.

    Dear hope2overcome...
    thanks for saying "Who cares, if the testimonials are fake or whatever, want real ones? go to reddit/nofap, ybop, etc etc.".
    To tell the truth I was able to recover from Underdogs comments after reading yours. Thank you thank you.
    Yes the 'feedbacks' are documented in the links provided. The 'testimonial' within the book can be easily checked by copying and pasting verbatim on google and you will reach a reddit/nofap/ etc sites. Anyways - when you read you know they are true.

    Quote" The question my mind asks itself is "Do I even have a libido?" "Why am I not jumping at the idea of porn anymore?". "where is that voice inside my head that influences me to watch porn when I am free at home?" That fear made me MO yesterday. And, I also realized that absence of cravings and porn induced sexual lust is the reason for the flatline.""
    I am not sure if you read my hackbook to have this feeling. Though you handled it differently it is the " Isn't it great I don't HAVE TO PMO no more.. I am free, I am not a slave' that the hackbook is trying to achieve.

    Thanks to all.
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2017
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  4. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear Underdog... I forgot to add... 'fear of quitting' is one of the main reason to avoid quitting for many.
    Allen Carr's book did a good job of exploring each and every illusion and fears when quitting an addiction.
    I preserved as much as I can and hacked to my level best. Yes, I do feel guilty of not doing a good job in the writing department.
    But I am not going to hang around waiting for Allen Carr's company to write one anyways.
    And so far the reviews are good and my user hits crossed 1000 today. So .. all in all I am happy it got into the hands of those who needed it.
     
  5. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Hey @le_petit_moster , I have some questions brah.

    1) What would you say to a guy who is not very successful with women, has been single for a long time, and because of this has to deal with the fear going months (or even years) without orgasm if he quits PMO? Do you think it is realistic for this type of guy to go 1 year or more of complete abstinence?

    2) Tied to the question above, do you believe there can be negative consequences of going an extended period of time without either orgasms or any sexual contact at all? Obviously part of the idea of quitting PMO is to experience real sex (or as you recommend, amative sex), but again, it could take some guys a very long time to find a sexual partner.

    3) Speaking of amative sex. My current girlfriend is very sexual and absolutely loves propagative sex. She is multiorgasmic and can have sex all day if she wants. I mentioned her Karezza once and she gave me a weird look, kind of like saying "Why would anyone want to do it that way?". I don't have much interest in Karezza either, to be honest. I am also skeptical of the claims that say orgasms damage relationships. So what would be your advice to the thousands or millions of couples in the world who are not willing to move from propagative sex to amative-karezza type of sex?

    Thanks!
     
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  6. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear TheUnderdog... let me establish the premises.

    The hackbook is to quit porn primarily and also from any act - masturbation and even real sex using porn.
    One need not necessarily be successful 100% in keeping the amative sex to quit porn, pmo, ‘porn induced memory masturbation, porn induced sex etc’. Just keeping the O as not your goal will do for now. Let's take one at a time - right?
    Let me set to answer your questions:
    1. To this lonely person I’d encourage to keep trying to find a partner. Only if he wants - not coz everyone says so. And I'll warn that P will kill any chances in that area. I think if P and M and O are not his primary goals then he will come to his own conclusions about all things related to sex. And his decision will be his own and it will be the best for him. He would take decisions in a mind set and level that will be his best and quitting will help him two fold. It will fit him and not you or me. Many of us are not in this outlier category but we still use PMO.

    2. I can't think of any negative consequences at all. If semen fills up his balls it will find its way out. He won’t worry too much about it either -again PMO was not his goal -remember ?. Our body knows when to get rid of excesses. And if he masturbates one night out of 365 nights - so what ? No harm, after a few days he will be fine. Again - we are talking about this outlier person. A candidate in a lab vacuum. Not many of us are like that. For others PMO will delay the time to get a partner. PMO will ensure to lose what you even have. So No NO !! It's chef food VS home food. It's online harem VS real woman.

    3. Believe me.. she is going to accept it soon. They are the ones who convert slowly but appreciate more than the ones who accept it enthusiastically right away . But- If she wants - let her have it. Why am I having it at all times. ? One here and one there - ok ? but why push me to have it each and every time ?. Can you skip a couple of Os. I read in Dr. Stanley Bass’s book that his partner was like that too. But eventually by seeing him she also started to like it as well. If you want you can check out http://www.reuniting.info for tips to how to introduce her. Again.. Its not big deal. Just try not to have it as a goal. No harm.


    I believe amative sex or karezza is the key for the long term success and marriage relationships. But that is my opinion and for each his own. No one is going to die. Anyways as we get older that is what is going to stay.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2017
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  7. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Hi All. I have updated the format and background of the free site based on your feedbacks.
    I have also added a couple of chapters on 'scripts'. Please take a look and see if it can benefit you.
    If some one can suggest a way to convert the scripts into audio/video that is youtube uploadable that would be great.
    Like a Apple Siri/ Machine voice - I'd then like to put them on a youtube channel for readers to access every night before sleep.
    cheers and wishing you well.
     
  8. DMB

    DMB Member

    Just started reading the book. It could do with some editing, but so far so good. I used the EASYWAY to quit smoking about 10 years ago. I'll give it a read and report if it helped or not.
     
  9. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear all. Hoping you well in your journeys.
    Here is a comment that I received from a reader.
    Note the section on online pacts, challenges etc..
    Cheers.

    ""Hey man, I just read your hack book and wanted to thank you for taking the time to write it. I, too, used the Allan Carr book to quit smoking, but I had never thought to directly apply his method to PMO addition, which I've been trying to kick for several years now. I used to smoke about a pack a day, for like 8 years, but haven't had a cigarette in probably 6 or so years.

    Hitherto, I've been able to make it some pretty good streaks in not PMOing, but I now think that keeping a day count is not only counterproductive, but sabotages my ability to succeed at this. I would tend to obsess about the number of days "clean", which I think gives the mistaken impression that there is some goal or endpoint in quitting. Your book makes clear that it's just about quitting, and being thankful for doing so immediately.

    I'm now at the point with regard to cigarette smoking, where even if I were completely drunk at a bar with friends, I wouldn't accept one if it were offered to me, since I know that it would just make me feel sick. The problem with PMO, as opposed to cigarettes, is that it gives you the illusion that you are enjoying it when you are engaged in the activity, and the sickness only comes afterward.

    Before I would relapse to PMO, I would notice myself going into autopilot mode, if you know what I mean. In a strange way, my desire for PMO would automatically structure my behavior, and I would end up firing up my laptop. Since reading your book, when the thought corresponding to an urge arises, I simply tell myself "thank God I don't have to do that shit anymore." Your book has in a sense reprogrammed me to automatically respond with that thought every time an urge occurs.

    You do a very good job describing the nature of PMO'ing to these tube sites--the idea that you are accessing this pseudo-"harem" in two dimensional pixels is quite powerful. The strange, unconscious apelike behavior of alternately skipping forward in a video, rubbing oneself, then moving onto another, all the while being oblivious to what one is doing, is somewhat frightening.

    What made the greatest impact on me, though, was your theorizing about the person who never became a PMOer in the first place. I confess that this had never really dawned on me to consider looking at. We were all that person when we started (as we were all sick when we tried our first cigarette), but through sheer willpower we strove on to become confirmed users (addicts). It's funny, but I spent a little bit of time abroad when I was in my 20's, and I would meet these guys who were totally opposed to porn on moral grounds, but also found the thought of using it for orgasm repulsive. I remember being perplexed by this standpoint, and I'm hoping that your book has brought me to that way of thinking."
     
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  10. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear All !!!
    In her book "Rethinking Positive Thinking" author Gabrielle Oettingen " talks about the method called "Mental Contrasting ( MC) " - which with research papers scientifically done is proved better than postive thinking and reality thinking as well.

    One of the keys in her 'MC' method is how you wish the future and then -only then - think about the ' challenges'.
    “Mental contrasting forged a link between the future and the reality, but it was specifically in this order: first future and then reality.Mental contrasting almost instantaneously brings the reality to mind when the future is called up—a process that is beyond our conscious ability to notice and control.”

    In our Method we say ' Isn't great I don't have to PMO no more, I am not a slave and I am FREE !!!"
    This is in line with her MC method.
    It reminds us of the slavery at the same time of our goal - which is free of PMO.

    Wishing you all well.
     
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  11. titan_transcendence

    titan_transcendence Well-Known Member

    I think this book is just awesome. It gave me huge boost to really stop this harmful addiction. Most importantly, its friendly tone made my constant nagging fear about urges dissipate. Theres nothing to fear if theres real conviction to stop. I agree that brainwashing part is huge part of this addiction. I can not tell how far this all will bring me yet, but Im really hopeful.
    Im grateful beyond the words about this book. :)
     
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  12. BruceWayne

    BruceWayne Building the life I want, day by day...

    Your book has also been very helpful to me. I've read it twice now and am now reading it a third time because of a lapse I had yesterday. Something must not have clicked. That being said prior to that lapse I went nine days without PMO which is rare for me.

    I do notice a decrease in the desire to PMO however it's not completely gone which is why I'll read the book over again.

    However have you ever thought of having someone edit the book for you? Perhaps someone here who was an English major in college? I think some editing could make it a little bit easier to read and understand.
     
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  13. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear BruceWaye...thank you for your appreciation.
    First, would like to congratulate you on your right attitude about your slip/lapse.
    " Something must not have clicked"- here is the critical key for all readers. And you didn't say the extreme 'relapse' word. No one has to 'relapse'- that is when you give up.

    I am open for a re-write. At least one offered to do so but only on the condition that if they like the book.

    Au contraire, I think the 'hard to read' and hard to understand' nature of the hackbook has kept the 'mentally lazy' away. If one had to go through the torture of my writing then one really needs and wants it. I am trying humor now.

    Anyways- I wish you luck. Please use the book as you see fit. Also- if someone can take this and double-hack it with better writing techniques... please do so. I am willing to take mine off the internet when a better version comes out.
    Cheers.
     
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  14. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear Titan... thanks.
    I wish you well...please don't let my writing discourage you from re-reading the book. If it takes a 100 times then so be it to get the unbrainwashing done.
     
  15. BruceWayne

    BruceWayne Building the life I want, day by day...

    @lepetitmonster I think the biggest challenge for me so far reading the book is grasping how pmoing is not actually enjoyable. Could you maybe help me out with this?
     
  16. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

    Dear BruceWayne...
    I was asked the same question before in the other forum.
    http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=11997.0
    ...Addiction has no pleasure in my book..it has the illusion of pleasure and a crutch. Quoting from my book "Remember, the PMO never were genuine rewards. They were equivalent to wearing tight shoes to get the pleasure of taking them off. So if you feel that you must have a little reward, let that be your substitute; while you are working, wear a pair of shoes or an underwear a size too small for you, don't allow yourself to remove them until you have your break, then experience that wonderful moment of relaxation and satisfaction when you do remove them. Perhaps you feel that would be rather stupid. You are absolutely right. It's hard to visualize while you are still in the trap, but that is what PMOers do. It's also hard to visualize that soon you won't need that little 'reward', and you'll regard your friends who are still in the trap with genuine pity and wonder why they cannot see the point."

    Of course my the analogies in the hackbook about (a) the pleasure one feels when removing a tight shoes and (b) the ointment for the sore are good as well.
    Also a quote from one of the readers ...

    "The point regarding pleasure is interesting. But really I don't think it's actually "pleasure" - instead porn was a "thrill" or a buzz. And that is very different from satisfaction and fulfilment. So when somebody says porn is pleasurable, I think now that is a distortion to avoid seeing the whole picture. It's a broken lonely coping mechanism, very likely done in secret, alone with a whole host of mental and physical drawbacks to distract you from life. It's not pleasurable, it's sad and unhappy. At best, it's a cheap thrill and escapism. Give that guy a hug and your heart, he needs it abd is hurting - and keep life moving forward."
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2017
  17. Hello Penis My Old Friend

    Hello Penis My Old Friend Well-Known Member

    In the original book, this concept has to do with how smoking isn't an intrinsically rewarding activity. It is only enjoyable and rewarding because you created the need for it by starting smoking. The pleasure/reward/enjoyment is that of satisfying a negative sensation, namely nicotine withdrawal.

    It's a bit more confusing with porn because it hijacks what is an intrinsically rewarding activity and drive. Think about edging for hours: this is an unnatural activity that you do because you created a craving. Sex is generally measured in minutes, and even a good old fashioned wank is unlikely to exceed 15 minutes. We edge because we have created a craving for dopamine that we "need" to satisfy, just like the smoker has created the need for nicotine. It is not a natural pleasurable behaviour like sex or masturbation, it's an attempt to briefly get back to a normal state. If we never tried the drug/P, we would be normal all of the time and have no need of satisfying cravings.

    Basically, you put on the tight shoes (P) so that you can you enjoy the feeling of taking them off (edging).

    In the original book, Carr mentions how he has lots of enjoyable activities that he can take or leave: drinks, friends, cinema, sports. Smoking and P aren't like this though. Imagine that your baseline state of enjoyment is 0. When you do normal activities you boost it to 2, say. But with porn addiction/smoking, you're actually trying to get back to 0 from -2. I think that's the key difference.

    Hope that helps.


    I think it's great that someone is applying Carr's methodology to PMO and people are finding it helpful, and I respect the time and effort you've put into this, but these aren't your analogies, they are Allen Carr's. Give a dead man the credit he deserves.
     
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  18. BruceWayne

    BruceWayne Building the life I want, day by day...

    This books made me realize that I secretly knew all along that porn was doing nothing for me. I always knew deep down that it was destroying me yet I kept making the decision to do it.

    I think I may have came across why quitting has been so difficult for myself through reading this and it's the uncertainty and also my own brainwashing that porn is a genuine pleasure.

    I really don't like porn. I hate it. I hate how I feel like I have to look at it even though I know of its dangerous effects. I have to lie to myself and others when I tell them/myself that I enjoy it. I think everyone who pmos knows that it's something they shouldn't be doing. Not for moral reasons, religious reasons or even health reasons. There's just something about watching porn that doesn't feel right. I feel like I should not be watching other people have sex.

    And the uncertainty is where I trip up and keep my "little monster" alive as you say. When I tell myself I'm going to quit porn or made the decision to do so I feel like for one, it's a ridiculous thing to say having just pmoed recently. How can I say I'm never going to do something again when I quite literally just did it multiple times? And secondly how can I possibly know that I won't succumb to an urge in the future or have some unforeseen stressful event, trigger me off?

    I'm starting to rid myself of this doubt and uncertainty though.

    There's really no reason at all to continue PMOing and all the reason in the world to stop.
     
  19. le_petit_moster

    le_petit_moster Active Member

  20. BruceWayne

    BruceWayne Building the life I want, day by day...

    How do you feel about dreams that include pmoing, lepetitmonster?

    Obviously it's something that we cant control but how do you feel they impact the process and why do we have them?

    I tend to have them almost always in the early days of quitting.
     

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