Hi everyone, I am an old member of this forum who went by a different username back in the day (5 years ago!) It is quite depressing to read the entries in my old journal and realize I have made negligible progress in most key areas of my life. If anything, I have gotten more neurotic and despicable. Become someone of poor character. Time has passed me by and I have stagnated, living the same life every day being stuck in a rat race not knowing why I do the job I do. I have been in the wrong career since day 1. I want to quit my job but I am incredibly scared of what lies ahead. And yet quit I must because I am in a bad situation where the only real solution is to move on. I have wasted my 20s without taking much action and trying enough stuff out. I feel brain dead. The only thing I have going for me is my daily commitment to exercise. I'm fairly sure PMO is the manifestation of deeper issues in my life, such as childhood trauma, bullying, emotional neglect and abuse. However I am yet to seek counseling. There is one memory of a trauma which has suddenly surfaced into my field of awareness a few months ago and it is causing me a lot of stress. I hope to be regular in my postings here. Cheers, and best wishes to anyone reading this.