Again, I Need A Community to Help...

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Guy_Stewart, Jun 14, 2017.

  1. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Know that I'm always sending you positive thoughts and affirmative prayers. I always see you as porn free.
    Boxer17 likes this.
  2. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member


    While Recovery Nation is superior in teaching, there's no interaction with anyone but your coach. I DO like the camaraderie here. For now, I'll be doing both. Tracking and talking here, learning there.

    Missed you all quite a bit.

    (PS -- my counter's not accurate, so go with what's above.)
  3. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member


    "Raskolnikov wrote: " has long been my mantra 'you only have to be clean for 1 day, time will pass independently of us all."

    One day. One man will not count the days, which is, I sometimes think, a good thing. For me: I need an honest anchor to keep me true to my efforts.

    Missed you all.
    Boxer17 likes this.
  4. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    We are in this together sir
  5. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member


    Not certain. My counter's all screwed up with the 67 days idea why. Maybe I'll just start again. PMO is a release from pain for me. Mental pain as I'm physically fine, if fat. Anyway. I'll start posting regularly again.
  6. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member


    Finally the counter works. I just need to stop watching porn, then masturbating to it. But HOW? I've done it in the past by sheer willpower, but I came back over and over. What needs to change?

    Something fundamental.

    What is it that needs to change? How do I deal with whatever it is that STARTED this whole PMO cycle? Exposure to porn as a kid? I was 12. After that exposure to my uncle's Play Boys, I started to seek it out. But WHY? Can the "why" be healed? Will that break the MOTIVATION, the thing that feeds the habit? Or doesn't it matter. All I have to do is stop "now" and it's over?

    No idea at this point.
  7. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hey there Guy
    Happy holidays!
    To my way of thinking porn is a byproduct of the times we now live in. The media, and hence society in general is dripping with sexuality.
    Men especially are so visually stimulated. When one goes to the store at any moment we can see some gal dressed to kill and BAM! We are in trouble. And, our lives are so linked to online activity. Even going online for legitimate reasons are fraught with peril.
    IMO the sexual revolution of the 60s brought with it a boatload of unintended consequences..... catastrophic societal consequences.
    I am sometimes reminded of judo. Ones opponent's momentum is used against him in combat. We all have a built in and necessary sex drive. However the tsunami of input has overwhelmed us. Just like junkfood overwhelms our natural appetite so our normal sexual appetite has taken a devastating hit.

    The billion dollar question!!

    One I struggle with constantly with tears of frustration.

    Sorry for the rambling. Your post brought up all sorts of thoughts and I'm at work so this is just a fast blast response
  8. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member


    Thanks for sticking with me, Boxer17. I know my PMO -- gay-oriented porn (and up until I got counseling through a really bad time and eventually married (my wife knew EVERYTHING))was directly connected to my DISconnect with dad and two brothers. Alienated. "The odd man out." I've gotten some counseling for that, but obviously not enough. Now the issues with dad have exacerbated my disconnect...because I don't know how to handle his dependence on me. I just finished a week-long break from him that was good. But it didn't slow down my desire for heal the deepest wound. That's where I need to go. Any maybe I need a professional to take me there.

    Thanks, my friend.
  9. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member

    Porn&Masturbating to Orgam-free days

    Just stopping by to check in, then off to do some writing! Later, friends!
  10. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member

    PMO-free days

    At this point, only here to help myself as I have little to offer others. But the counter is good.
  11. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hello Sir. Good to hear from you. I know you are struggling. Keep writing in this journal We are here with you
  12. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member

    Porn&Orgasm-free day
    Boxer17 likes this.

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