"Aeish's Journal of Self Exorcism"

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Aeish, May 26, 2019.

  1. Aeish

    Aeish New Member

    I am a 34 year old dude, who has been struggling a lot with PMO addiction. Started the journey in 2014 and failing to do 90 days since. My best streak is 78 days of hardmode which I did in 2015. Since that, been having 2-5 days streak consistently. I have been dealing with depression for a few years and pretty sure this habit is the biggest contributor of it. There have been more than a few moments that I think doing Nofap is pointless because I think it too late for me but still find myself trying to this again and again. Maybe because somewhere in my mind, I know if I stop, my physical and spiritual self will deteriorate to the point of no coming back.

    Of course, the GOAL here is not to do Porn and Masturbation ever again but I will do this in small steps.

    My first small step would be, to do Nofap (hardmode) for 7 days straight.
     
    occams_razor and Merton like this.
  2. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    It's never too late, and at 34, you still have a lot ahead. You are young. "Now" is always a good time to work on ourselves, our lives.

    Welcome on board and good luck in your initial 1 week goal !
     
    Gil79 and Aeish like this.
  3. Aeish

    Aeish New Member

    Thanks for your kind words..really appreciate it. Maybe I still can change it, but I know I am running out of time. People say porn brings you no harm..but being an addict, I know Porn DOES effect my life. Hopefully, I could still turn my life around before it's too late.
     
  4. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    You are definitely not running out of time, not more than anyone else. You can be hit by a bus at any age, but that should not stop you from pursuing your goals. I can't think of any goal that you would not be able to reach anymore. The world is a place of abundance.

    It would definitely help to have clear for yourself what it is you want in life. By pursuing your goals you can make porn naturally insignificant.

    Good luck!
     
    Aeish likes this.
  5. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I can relate to a lot of what you write. The few days streaks, depression, the feeling of it being too late to bother. However, I know that it's not too late; of course, it's probably too late to become a pro athlete but for most other things it's not. It's definitely not too late to enjoy life, though it may seem hopeless at this point.
     
    Aeish likes this.
  6. Aeish

    Aeish New Member

    Thanks for the encouragement, bro...hopefully I can work on something so hard, so I would be able to take porn out of my mind.
     
  7. Aeish

    Aeish New Member

    Thanks bro.. Hopefully I could do that..
     
  8. Aeish

    Aeish New Member

    RELAPSED.

    I just found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me last night so I broke up with her. I guess the level the stress and disappointment was too high for me to handle so I decided to end my streak after 6 days.

    Two faps and I reset back the counter. Am I disappointed that I relapsed? Yes. Am I depressed now? Yes.

    However, I am not willing to let PMO win the war yet. I might have lost the fight but I will come back up again... The funny thing is, I am more devastated to have relapsed than losing the cheating b*tch.. Sigh~
     
  9. occams_razor

    occams_razor Well-Known Member

    As long as you keep trying, and keep learning, you WILL succeed.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.

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