Hey guys, I've been rebooting for over 3 years. I have a serious mental illness, so I'm disabled. I'm a virgin, and I hate it. I had one eight-month streak of no-MO, but mostly I've masturbated once per week or two weeks. My recovery has been agonizingly slow. Cravings and intrusive thoughts batter me all day until my body hurts. Surges of shame and guilt paralyze me. I need sex really badly, but it's elusive. On the other hand, I've had a few benefits. Just two weeks of noporn relieved a huge amount of emotional pain. After a year or two, my derealization got better. And now I'm well enough to drive a car again. I'm not going to say anything else at the moment, because my brain is getting internet fog. Just to be clear, this will be my journal.