Addicted science i am a child - now I am 35 Years old and trying to reboot

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by hottdogg, Aug 24, 2012.

  1. hottdogg

    hottdogg New Member

    hello together,

    I am now on Day 42 without PMO and would like to tell you my story how all began:

    I think I did start with M when I was a child. I was watching an advertisement with a woman acting in it on TV and got stimulated. From then my time with M began. Now I am 35 Years old and I started already several Time to quit M. When I was 24 Year old, I stoped for the firsttime in my life to M for 3 Weeks. Its was an amazing feeling, my concentartion was so great, my physical fitness was amazing but still after that I relapsed. But I felt that I have to quit M, to gain a better life. The main reason that gaves me to stop PMO is the broakup of my relationship with my girlfriend. she left me because she didnt think that i am self-sufficient enough, i always did forget stuff that i promised her and because she sayed i am talking much but not doing not enough.

    i think these had all to do with my addiction. even though i didnt look much to porn when i was in a relationship i fantasizes a lot and we had a porn kind sex. but after every sex i felt in depression. on that time i didnt know why. i think my body did learn the orasm wrong. everytime after a orgazm i feel into a depression, i get social anxiety and speech problems. my main problem was also the premature ejaculation. i think i learnd it wrong. these ara a summery of my symptoms:

    -very low Concentration
    -everyday tiredness
    -social anxiety (had no girlfriend in my youth and beyond)
    -low self-esteem
    -Premature Ejaculation

    I started several time to stop M but I alway relapsed again until I found the website www.yourbrainonporn.com which gave me a huge impulse to quit PM for ever. I am now on my on 42 Day without PMO. My aim is not only to avoid PMO but also to change the way of thinking. I am thinking often stuffs that makes me sad and depressiv. Most of them because I live alone and bcause I am recenly left by my girlfriend. I think its no a matter of avoid PMO but also the way we think thats makes us happier in our life.
    Here I want to contribute my success. Feel free to write on my Journal or ask me question and sorry for my bad english I am german :)

    Day 1:
    I felt very tired after that, depressive, low concetration and all the stuff I always had

    Day 2-30:
    After some day my concentration did come back. Physically I am very fit. But my feeling are changing every Day.
    Someday I feel sadness, other day very angry (Its also because my girlfriend left me just three month ago, so I do also recover from that).

    Day 31-40:
    The days began very good. But last week i saw my ex girlfriend again and now i felt in a depression again. But still on my way. I think i have two problems:

    1. i am recovering from PMO
    and
    2. recovering from my broakup relationship. I am also in a psychological treatment for both of them

    Day 39:
    Yesterday it was a amazin day for me. Even though I woke up with depression and was depressiv @ work, I met after the work in a salsa dancing class a very nice girl. I had an appointment with her, because we want to do a salsa calss. She is very nice but taller then me. My main recognition was, that I wasnt nervous at all. I tried to stay and talk to her very calm and she liked it. She also got a red when I looked at her. After the calss I went to a salsa party alone and was very self-sufficient, dancing with lots of nice girls. It did push me alot in a positiv mood.



    more to come:)


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  2. VincentNascoMustDie

    VincentNascoMustDie New Member

    There are a lot of new members (like me) who are trying to get as far as you did, and I've seen a few senior members still struggling as well. Your story is a real inspiration. I see it's been awhile since you updated. I hope things are going well for you!
     

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