Acted out with shemales twice

Good advice. I appreciate it. Honestly I know for sure it’s the actions I regret and the fact that I acted out so carelessly while I was on drugs. Looking at porn is one thing but acting out is really disheartening. Knowing I did something that makes me sick to even think about is depressing. I wouldn’t share it because it’s not something that I would ever want to associate with myself I feel it’s like sharing your porn history or any other embarrassing things with others it’s just unnecessary. I think I have to just live with the fact that I’ll be scarred by this

 

Well, I'm not saying the actions AREN'T what you regret, I apologize if that is what it sounded like. What I'm saying is that not talking about it might be what makes the regret so toxic and have so much staying power.

 

much appreciated. I thought about it and honestly I think I feel a little stifled by the fact that those people could potentially come out of the woodwork and try to smear me if I ever gained any notoriety. I know it seems like a vain or unreasonable fear but I’m ambitious and I had big dreams all my life and having to be associated with something I deeply regret and want no part of would really kill me. I believe if I knew for certain that these things had no possibility of ever haunting me in the future it would be a lot easier.

 

you might be afraid you lose your social status, because some people are idiots. But if someone would tell you that he's BI you would probably dont care as well (if you're decent person).
Eventually no one will know but you and it doesnt matter, you cannot change the past and sexual compulsive actions do not define you as a person.