thanks so much @Mozenjo for your very gracious and super supportive response! You have been a great friend and partner in my journey. Your support and encouragement has been instrumental to me.
Well said Saville. I think many girls, especially in their 50s and 60s - think they always need to be strong in order to be treated as “equals”. They are afraid to drop their guard. It’s a terrible legacy of the feminist movement. But there’s such a natural and deep feeling of strength and nurturing for guys and security and warmth for girls - to embrace more “natural dynamics” between the sexes.
Btw. As I have mentioned, my penis has been responding surprising well very recently. My wife literally said as big and hard as ever in our relationship. just want to say, as I have said before - that I am taking a “light dose” of cialis most mornings. 5 mg Not sure exactly how much of a difference it’s making - but I’m guessing it’s helping in a material way - physically plus an added feeling of self-confidence. I had mild indigestion from it for a few weeks but it gradually went away completely. There is also a 2.5 mg dose as well I’m not endorsing using it - but it works for me.
Yeah, if it works, and doesn't do long term damage, then why not? I've been on Viagra for a little over two years now, but it's not a "daily use" kind of drug like Cialis apparently is (I just looked it up, and I might give it a try). But my goal is to wean off the stuff and go "au naturale" when I'm ready to, so we'll see. Considering your recent experience with the wife, sticking with what works sounds like a plan for now. You've got some time to make up
I'll third the "if it works then go for it". I've been on it for a while, and while I don't need it for sex I do agree that there is a fuller feeling and confidence that comes with taking it.
Porn is not a reward for good behavior. It is ultimately a punishment - as it literally saps one's soul.
My wife is away rn and I actually felt super horny for her last night. Def a result of our “renewed” sex life! Not going to lie - I thought about MO. But knew it would slide to a deeply unsatisfying and self-loathing P binge again. So I fought it off. Watched a movie instead with my dog. Within 20 min into the movie - The urge was gone. Edit - urge back tonight. watching football only partially helping. Spent a few minutes on P subs on insta. but then logged off and stayed out of further trouble. So I reset my P subs date. Good discipline for me.
Good on you for stopping the slide like you did. I dwelled way too long on the subs, and feel the predictable regret and hangover today. I appreciate you keeping it real, path-forward. Stay strong.
went off the wagon tonight with PMO. Was an extremely tough day emotionally for me. some intense lows followed by some great news - but it just threw me off somehow. Felt oddly overwhelmed by life. thankfully - not something I experience too often - but just was what it was. Started peeking and it was a quick slide down. Oddly didn't binge exactly - more like 3 separate shorts sessions 30-45 min apart. At least my dick worked well. That was at at least reassurance. But obviously not something I want to rely on or start again. My wife is away for 2 more weeks. Just a very challenging situation on many levels - and unfortunately too easy to make excuses for my situation. sorry to ramble a bit. very disappointed in myself. But I am very hopeful I can resume my healthy journey. started a new approach with my dates. I am now publicly listing each time I have lapsed since June 1 (two times). I suppose it makes me feel better about my progress than just seeing the zero tonight. Back up on the horse...
Starting from zero is humbling, but here we are. I haven't technically PMO'd yesterday, but pretty damn close. So we're really at the same point, path-forward. Beware the chaser. I'm on guard too. Keep going. And keep journaling.
Moz. Very sorry to hear of your own lapses. But thanks for the advice. I woke up today resolved to resume my objectives with more focus and discipline. Let’s keep fighting my brother. We are both making progress!
Sorry to hear about the day, I can empathize. It also makes it worse when the SO is away. Like Moz said, watch out for the chaser effect. You got this!!
thanks for your support @StarWarsFan ! Much appreciated and I agree about the chaser don’t let a relapse bring you further down! One and done
Nothing serious but I had to get some medical tests done as a precaution. crazy though! I had to spend about 30 minutes in a small room with a young slender and very attractive tech in a tight fitting uniform. My libido felt off the charts! While I have PMO-ed twice in 4 months, I definitely feel huge improvements in arousal from abstaining most of the time. Morning wood is much more common as well. In the past I would’ve come home and looked up a porn model with the same attributes and looks. But instead I’m heading to the golf range. Doing my best to stay strong and focused on healthy endeavours!
Today a friend sent a text of a meme of Spoiler: Possible trigger “have a hot ass Friday” accompanied by a very sexy girl in tight clothes. I found myself quickly looking at it two or three times - after he originally sent it. So I deleted it. I am an addict. And I need to continually recognize that - so that I can protect myself from my own demons.
Nice job, path-forward! That is exactly what we need to do on a regular basis. This is my nemesis too. Latching onto an image and using it as a springboard for diving back into another viewing session. That is what keeps me in chains. Thanks for the inspiration to do the right thing, my friend.
@path-forward you've added positive comments to my work so I thought I'd spend some of my Sunday getting to know yours. We started nearly the same way. Magazines when I was 12 or 13 was my entry into all of this. Some are able to quickly turn it off. Others work and work and work. @Mozenjo have been hanging around the halls here for nearly the same length of time. Thing is we are here. Other, really great guys, disappeared. And if you read the last few entries you have to assume many of them just threw the towel in and gave up. Sad. Because you can reinvent. Just sometimes it takes a long time. I'm reinvented - made tremendous progress from where I started -- and reinventing. Part way there but not all the way. And I'm going to stick with till the job is done. Keep at it. You deserve to stay until the job is done too! Thank you for your visits and comments! RD
