Tonight was very special for me. I fought off an intense trigger. Some of you may recall my wife travels a lot for business. Sometimes weeks at a time - something I knew and accepted before we got married. Obviously that gives me ample time and rationalization for PMO. But I accept her time away, because she gives 1000% as my wife, when she is home. And she gets so much satisfaction from her career. And sorry if this sounds like bragging - but she is also very sweet, spiritual, insightful, sexy, smart, pretty, and feminine. And rarely turns down sex. I feel very blessed to have her in my life. And I have been the one avoiding sex the past couple years due to PIED. She has always loved me unconditionally - despite my frequent unstable periods and bad behaviors. She also typically does not nag me or judge me. She has never made me feel bad about my PIED - despite knowing about my PMO and quietly feeling hurt by its affect on me. I also recently realized during my current NO PMO streak - that I subconsciously felt I did not deserve her. I do not feel that way anymore. I feel like her strong man and that feels amazing! But a HUGE emotional trigger for me is when she gets delayed for a few extra days arriving home - like what happened tonight. I felt myself pining to binge for hours - rationalizing I deserved it for feeling so disappointed. But instead I focused on everything I have read about the evils of PMO - and abstained! I did not even turn on my computer. instead I watched an action movie, read and played with my dog. I am beginning to feel calm and whole again for the first time in a very long time. My friends, kids and wife have all commented on it. I know I still need to stay very vigilant and that my PIED will also take some time to be fully healed. But I know I have a lot to look forward to and will be patient and strong in my journey to get there. I want to revel in feeling the positive reality and vitality of my life - not the 2D mental and physical Hellish dungeon I’ve been in so long. Thanks to all of you for your support and brotherhood. I would not be at this point without the YBR community. And I know some of you have some real challenges with your significant other regarding PMO and other issues - so I apologize again - if I sounded like I was bragging about my wife and being insensitive to others’ relationship situations. I am just very proud of my wife for who she is as a person.