Of course you know. You are an insightful and bright man. As to the time you need to get back on track I would say "now's the time." path-forward, I know that my words on this forum have never made anyone stop PMO. Men stop using P when they finally see, I mean really see, themselves. I write because I earnestly want to support everyone's better intentions AND to keep myself on the straight an narrow. If I'm fierce and harsh with someone it's because I need to be that way for myself. So, in a very real way, I use each and everyone's journal for my own selfish motives. Yes, I care about you, and many men on this forum, but my motivation is to be the best version of myself, no matter which universe one might be looking at. Here's what I say to myself about hard Decembers: bullshit! Here's what I tell myself about being overworked and stressed: talk to the hand! When the wife doesn't want to have sex, and that is more and more now, and I want to rub one out I slap myself upside the head: "bitch, leave the dick alone." There is nothing that creates dark despair like giving in to PMO. Lots of us have PTSD. We wouldn't be here if our lives had been hunky dory. I'm not minimizing how you feel, my friend, definitely feel your feels...but feelings aren't facts. The facts are that PMO continues the cycle of abuse.