Abstain from Pornography April.

Hell ye, same as feb/mar goal is to not PMO or edge, and look for alternatives when I'm stressed/etc, hf

 

Let's go.

 

Let's do it, boys.

So, I wonder why you guys attempt to stay away from PMO?

I made a goals list. I have PIED. I'm 30 years old.

My first goal is to stay away from PMO for 90 days.
My second goal is to have successful sex. I might even go to a prostitute to see if I'm functioning.
My third goal is to completely have regained sexual health. I will look for a partner to start a long term relationship.

Mind you, I have PIED since I was 17 years old. At that time, I was already a heavy porn user. When I was 17, I already had a stash of over 50 porn films on dvd. I lost my virginitiy that year and I had a lot of trouble to maintain an erection. Thanks PIED.

My life depends on it, I can't wait any longer. I'm very determined. I already lost the sweet years of being 20+. I'll never get these years back. And it fills me with a lot of anxiety to approach women my age because they have so much more sexual experience.

But this is the reality I have to face. It'll only get worse the more I prolong it. I had many thoughts of ending my life because I feel so trapped. This year, this time, this is my final attempt. If I fail, I might as well end it all. But this is not what I want. I want to succeed. I want to make it happen. One day, I want to start a family but it all begins with managing to get to the magic 90 days. And if I'm being realistic, I might as well stay sober for 180 days because many rebooters needed that much time to heal.

But I will take it one day at a time. I'm glad that I have a support system in place. First, it's you guys and second I have two very close friends whom I shared my 'secret' with. Whenever I face intense urges I will call them and post here.

Let's do it.

 

I'm in. I am starting to lose the fire that kept me clean for the first few months of the year, so I need to recommit before it's too late..

 

IN

 

Almost relapsed but stood firm on the reasons I'm avoiding PMO.
Apart from that, great week.

 

Present and correct

 

After a fairly long streak, I had a bad week. From next week I'll make a habit of coming here regularly, to reinforce my aims. Same thing with regularizing my sleep pattern.

 

Going great here, no regrets

 

Having one of the best weeks of my life. Tomorrow could confirm that or flip it upside down...

Lots of socialising. Maybe an excessive amount. And the big one is tomorrow...

No PMO From Monday til now, inclusive. I did peek at porn on Tuesday, admittedly.

 

This smoking hot babe i was hooking up with left town recently, been going crazy and finally almost relapsed, but then had a knock on the door.
So ye still here, gotta focus on the good times and not let it get to me.

 

good week overall

 

Good to see you all.

 

A lot of troubling pornographic dreams as of late but I'm still going strong despite the relapse in the beginning of april.

 

A mixed up week. Next will be more... focused. Writing down specific goals.

 

Early this Monday morning I decided to apply some additional discipline. I'm doing a fast: no dating apps for a week. They are addictive in and of themselves. And they probably subconsciously trigger the porn addict in me. In the unlikely event I get some matches, I won't message them. I'll only send a reply to first messages on Bumble, so the match doesn't automatically expire, and hopefully carry on conversation next week.

I should replace it with real-life dating-oriented social activity. Eh, we'll see.

 

Oh well relapsed, not gonna write a poem about it.

 

What was the trigger?

Isn't it crazy how our brains are literally two opposing people; the devil and the angel. I think being busy drowns that pos devil out tbh.

 

relapsed and joined another dating site. oops.

well. the week's going fine otherwise.