A lot of shit comes up as we're getting clean. I was so fucking tired at the beginning of the reboot it boggled my mind. I could wake up after 8 hours of sleep and need to go back to bed. Then the emotions came upon me; the self-hatred, the shame, etc. Every now and then I still get slammed with something, something that makes me feel deep guilt and regret, or sometimes even anger. I sweep those thoughts aside quickly now. I didn't have the skills to deal with women, and most particularly my wife. In turn, the wife didn't have any skills at being a good wife. If she did the laundry and made supper then she figured she was killing it as a partner. At the end of the day my wife didn't know how to give love and it sounds like yours didn't either. Most women just want attention, it's about me me me me me me meeeeee. LOOK at MEEEE!!! Men have to demand that their needs be met. Not through force, or fighting, but by being men around the house. This means doing the jobs a man should do (fuck you women's libers ), listening to the wife bitch, not taking offense when her infant self bitches you out, and not relying on them for your self-worth. Their burden is to have periods and then kids and ours is to realize that we are second place in their eyes to everyone and everything else. Kizomba is a good metaphor. ha ha The man leads but it's the woman that everyone is looking at...just like she wants it. When we accept this reality then everyone has a good time.