A Woman With A 20-year Porn Addiction

Discussion in 'Women' started by Michael84, Jan 16, 2018.

  1. Michael84

    Michael84 Member

    Erica Garza has been addicted to sex and pornography since she was a little girl. Her first orgasm came as a tween while lying in a bathtub in her parent’s home in a middle class suburb. While dealing with the shame of having to wear a back brace to fight a childhood illness, she turned to adult entertainment on cable television, and later, the internet, to satiate her desires away from her parents’ eyes.
    ............
    Her sex life became increasingly risky: there were encounters not just with strangers, but also without condoms. Garza eventually decided to do something about it when she realized her dependence on X-rated material had became an obsession and that she wasn’t able to connect emotionally with any men as a result.

    https://moneyish.com/ish/this-is-what-its-like-to-be-a-woman-with-a-20-year-porn-addiction/
     
    kropo82 and BuddhaPunkRobotMonk like this.
  2. Kris321

    Kris321 New Member

    so sad
     
  3. Zhizhuo

    Zhizhuo New Member

    She said a effective way to recover was be vulnerable to someone you trust. But I am so embarrassed to admit my sex addiction to my husband, what should I do?
     
  4. Funnygal

    Funnygal New Member

    I wish I could find a spouse maybe it would help. But I can't seem to get close to men.
     
  5. TicoFap

    TicoFap New Member

    You ladies really shouldn’t be that embarrassed about it. So many of us guys use porn or are addicted to it. It really doesn’t seem that far fetched to a guy if you tell him about it. How could we judge a girl for something almost all us guys do?

    I think the way you tell a person is what makes a huge difference. It’s how you approach somebody. If you come from a place of fear and insecurity then you might screw up. They might get scared a run away. But if you come from a place of self confidence and you realize this is just temporary. It’s happened to you, it’s happened to tons of people (girls included). Sexual disfunction from porn is no more than a desease. Like when you have a broken leg. All you need is time to heal and move on with your life.

    Just be casual about it. Just tell them how you’re taking some time off sex right now as a means of self exploration. Self betterment. Then you can bring porn into the discussion. You can say something like you and you’re ex boyfriend used to do it with porn sometimes and you noticed how it was affecting your sex life negatively bla bla bla and that right now you’re just giving yourself some time off! Just don’t make it look like a big deal. And then the other person won’t think it’s a big deal either!

    Just some feedback coming from a guy... if it makes a difference. Best wishes
     
  6. seancarter124

    seancarter124 New Member

    The thing is, depending on the culture it may be more stigmatized for women. Before I knew about porn addiction, I got annoyed when my ex showed disapproval of me watching porn, while I felt 'betrayed' when she watches porn cause it's a 'guy thing'. I do hope more people who were once like me realize this and be more accepting of people, but it is hard. Even if you are a guy it's hard to discuss porn addiction with anyone since it's such a normal thing nowadays.
     
  7. benjamin027

    benjamin027 New Member

    Do exactly what you are embarrassed to do. No shortcut to redemption. U must do what needs be done
     
  8. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    If not your husband maybe a close friend? Personally, I still have had the guts to tell anyone in real life - but then again I'm not recovered either.
     
  9. Wolf333

    Wolf333 Member

    Same with my wife. We know everything about each other but I don't dare to tell her.
     
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  10. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    As a woman, I would tell my husband. He will more likely process everything like a man - that is, being able to "compartmentalize" things, in a more logical fashion if you wish.

    As a man (which I am, in reality), my wife? Doubtful. There's a greater chance she will feel betrayed, react more emotionally to it.

    And don't misunderstand me, it is a betrayal. I would, still, tell her after having at least one year clean. I dug myself into this pit; I have to pull myself out.

    Other than this, while I was married, I never - ever had any other secret from my wife. But I felt I could - and I was able to - break free of this addiction w/o hurting her. If I "can't" do it alone, and I can't have anyone else assist me...then yes, I'd seek her help...at the risk of hurting her immensely.

    Back to feelings.

    Unrelated to all this, I was hit with a no-fault divorce (which she explained it truly was "no fault"), so she betrayed me even worse. Then I spiraled back into P, after years of being clean. Of course, it was because of (her) "feelings", "don't love you anymore", "it's me", "you're the same good man I married, I changed". We had $, health, and she had 1-2-3 orgasms every time we had sex, and we would usually finish at the same time. Tuns out, I still wasn't good enough, after 11 years of what I thought was mostly blissful marriage.

    So she left and a few months later was having a lover, then remarried (yet another one, while pregnant with the first - at least he knew very well what he was getting himself into).

    I discovered I was better-looking than I thought (also look much younger), discovered my good sense of style, and started having women that almost could be my daughters hit on me. Doesn't hurt that I make good money, too (not that they'd know).

    I never pursued any, but preferred to spend my time getting closer to God, taking care of the elderly and orphans. These never stab you in your back. I serve in my church, and I sometimes wondered whether this isn't in fact the sole reason God put me on this Earth, to give to others.

    4 years later, I am still alone. Dodged a few bullets (some women can put on quite a show; just observe them, and, in time, they will unmask themselves).

    Never had sex with anyone but my wife. All on the basis of my Christian principles. And I'll never ever have again, lest I find a "unicorn" that I have chemistry with. And, you know what? I'm fine with that. I'm not one to say "all women are the same" - what hurts me most is that I've seen in my family marriages triumphing through the most dire circumstances, partners getting closer to each other the harder life was. I want either that, or nothing. And I see such enduring marriages every day in my church.

    Anyway, enough rambling. In conclusion, as much as I don't seek to disrespect anyone in this hurting audience; still, before being honest with your wife, consider we tend to run more on testosterone and logic, and women on estrogen and feelings. Don't be surprised when she doesn't make sense to you.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2021

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