A single man’s sex drive is God’s invitation for him to consider marriage

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Striveforpurity, Jul 3, 2017.

  1. Striveforpurity

    Striveforpurity All praise and glory to our Lord Jesus Christ.

    The Apostle Paul counselled men who had trouble with a burning lust to get married (1 Corinthians 7:1-9). He says this even acknowledging that married life comes with its own spiritual challenges.

    Have you considered the possibility that God might want to change your attitude about marriage and lead you toward it?

    Have you considered the possibility that porn and masturbation may be the reason you're still single?

    Masturbation leads to introversion. Woman are not attracted to this. Being alone and single is one of the single hardest burdens a man can bear. Young couples these days are delaying marriage and having sex before consummation. This is a shame as marriage is what God intended and is an avenue that leads to healthy wholesome relationships.
     
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  2. NewTerritories

    NewTerritories virtual

    Religion or no, it's apparent that the healthy hetero male sex drive is naturally oriented toward real woman, not videos and pictures of them.

    Whether that should lead a man to marriage... many other considerations must be taken into account.

    Paul says people should get married for the purpose of avoiding fornication, non-marital sex. I think casual sex is generally a bad idea. But to commit to lifelong legal economic togetherness for reasons rooted in only sex seems unwise. The sex won't last forever. If you find a good partner, great! But don't rush into it...
     
  3. Striveforpurity

    Striveforpurity All praise and glory to our Lord Jesus Christ.

    That's the thing. Young people these days think sex is a natural part of dating and you need sex to find a good partner but you don't.
     
  4. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    Generally, I don't think that sex on the first date or anything like that is a good idea, but it seems foolish to wait until after you're married. That's like buying a car without taking a test drive or buying clothes without trying them on.
     
  5. NewTerritories

    NewTerritories virtual

    What's the problem with waiting until the wedding night? I don't know if I would do it myself. But what would be the risk, exactly? Before marriage, any health conditions should be known to both parties, I think. There's gonna be mutual attraction. Both partners will want to learn what each other likes. There's no expectation that they need to be instantly well-practiced and 'good at sex'.

    In this way, things are potentially simpler, easier, better.
     
  6. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    Maybe you're right, I'm not seriously attached to my comment. There was a standup bit that I heard that was something along the lines of "what if they have a boil on their upper leg" or something like that. Chances are the sex would work out, but I can imagine that in some situations you might have some kind of unpleasant surprise that makes you sexually incompatible. The above example was shallow, but as a more serious example, one party might need certain elements for sexual arousal which make the other party uncomfortable. I don't believe in marriage as an institution. In fact I am anti-marriage and one reason is that I don't like the idea that a relationship needs to be sanctioned church, state, or one's family and its progression shouldn't be artificially constrained by such actors. I should try to better understand why people cherish marriage so much though.
     
  7. NewTerritories

    NewTerritories virtual

    A surprise boil would suck. But they can be removed with surgery, no? If that's potentially an issue, it's worth talking about before getting married. Also, an ugly boil could grow somewhere after you get married. A loving couple should be able to talk about that.

    Having weird requirements for sexual arousal isn't normal. Maybe it could be profitably discussed before marriage. But in a culture where marriage is the norm, and out-marriage sex isn't, I suspect that sexual abberations like that would be nearly non-existent...

    I'm not seriously attached to the idea of marriage myself. Especially now that it's been messed around with modern legal innovations. I don't know if it's possible to go back to older forms of it. I think some of the earlier versions had very appealing aspects. In the early days of Christianity, there was no need for a priest or any other authority to officiate a wedding. A couple could elope, run away into the woods, verbally agree alone to be married, and consummate it. Then they were considered lawfully married. Whether their parents approved or not.

    I learnt that from this documentary: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05qsll9

    Marriage is cherished in part because it's supposed to be a life-long commitment. But when divorce is very common, trust in the institution suffers. It's only as powerful as it's believed to be. Hence the importance of Christianity laying down a strict prohibition on divorce. But the culture again moved on...

    A stable marriage provides security, and in theory, the safest family situation for raising children. That's the elephant in the room. Sex makes babies! That's the point!

    But sex is fun even when it's fruitless. And people's sex drives generally exeed their desire for children. So, contraception is everywhere. Contraception was once widely considered a moral outrage. Some religious types are still morally opposed to it. They blame it for the ruination of healthy relationships through promotion of selfishness and lack of sexual restraint. I think they have some good points. But still, I don't intend to have 10 children. I don't intend to have any.
     
  8. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    I'm in my 60s. Married over 40 yrs. Find someone you are compatible with first. the sex fluctuates but true companionship will weather the storms if your constantly at odds with someone it affects the sex more than good sex helps the relationship.
     
  9. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    Yes, I agree with you on that. A lot of sexual taboos and norms make no sense when seen only from the adult perspective, but seem obvious when seen from the perspective of children. That's why I don't agree that depraved sex is a good thing, even if it's consensual. You should always be thinking that what you are doing could mean the beginning of a life and keep this is mind with how you are acting at the moment.
     
  10. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    I've considered it yes, along with the possibility that I'll burn for eternity in hell for my sins...The real trick is finding any god damn objective evidence of it. I've also considered the possibility of big foot, unicorns, and the possibility we are all living in a computer simulation. I consider a lot of things and I don't discount anything as an impossibility.

    The other problem is that God doesn't really appeal to my inner sense of justice, burning in hell for eternity sounds like a punishment that doesn't really fit the crime eh? All for the crime of not bowing down before a diety that I have no evidence even exists, and have every reason to disbelieve. That's the funny thing about faith, you either have it, or you don't. I've tried reading the bible, but I always throwup a little at what an asshole that god guy is, fucking up on creating humanity and then just wiping the slate clean as though it didn't happen, who burns god in hell for his sins?

    Fuck it all, have you considered the fact that people who don't have faith are never going to buy in to your incessant preaching? Have you considered that we just don't believe in anything and faith isn't a switch we can flip? You can't give us evidence anymore than you can give us faith, live and let live.
     
  11. NewTerritories

    NewTerritories virtual

    No one is shoving religion down your throat, man. You don't even need to be a believer (I am a sceptic) to participate in this thread and stay on topic. The topic is ideas about the male sex drive, about what it means. Traditionally, religiously, the answer is: get married. Many religions and cultures point their men in that direction. I think the reasons for this are profound. But there are all sorts of complications... If you don't think that's an interesting topic to discuss, you are not obliged to participate.

    I, for one, would hear your view if you would offer it!
     
  12. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    No, Op's aim is pretty clear, the discussion that sparked from it is another matter. Marriage in modern times is a contract where in men have the privilege of signing their wealth and freedom away, why not just commit to someone because you want to, why do you need a damn contract to spell out what she can take from you on a whim? (kids, money, etc).
     
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  13. NewTerritories

    NewTerritories virtual

    The family courts in the west can ruin men. But that's hardly any traditional religion's fault, is it? Particularly the ones that condemn divorce. Well... one could argue that feminism is to blame, and that those movements grew out of mutations of religious notions...

    And they could be blamed for continuing to encourage marriage while government continues to screw things up.

    I wonder what a family court would do to a split couple who just verbally agreed to be together forever, with no official recognition. The old way, see 'elope' above.
     
  14. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    LEGAL Marriage today in this gynocentric society is the WORSE thing any man can do. Any man doing that is basically giving a woman(and the state) a loaded gun and saying "don't shoot me..ok?". In terms of marriage, marriage(according to some videos i watched on youtube from hebrew israelites) is when people have sex. If you're familiar with soul ties then that would make sense. I disagree being in a legal contract with a bad woman who can divorce you and take everything is the worse thing to burden. I'm so glad i'm choosing to never get married. But hey to each his own.









    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...omen-initiate-divorce-much-more-men-heres-why
     

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