a short guy's Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by a short guy, Feb 28, 2013.

  1. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    I PMO'd Saturday. I was triggered by an good article critical of porn that was educational but oddly had an unecessary provocative image in it. I just flipped from disinterest to obsession, felt like it came out of the blue and unnecessary to do it. The last time I PMO'd was in April. Generally I have not had the interest or urge. I have masturbated, maybe once a month to thoughts of my wife. My wife and I continue to not have sex. I'm letting stress get in the way, keeps me fearfull of being present and intimate. At this point it's just a habit not to be sexual.

    I know I have a fear of rejection which is unfounded. I'm taking everything personally, regressing back to childhood reactions, feelings, fears. I am fully aware of all this stuff and have resolved it, but still falling into old patterns, almost out of laziness. I tend to PMO when I'm feeling good. If I feel depressed I don't PMO, because it just makes me feel worse. When I feel great and PMO, I still feel good afterwards because I have the intention to continue to feel good. But I know PMO-ing is holding me back, keeping me from being sexual with my wife. I do it instead.

    And, I used my phone. Too easy.
     
    jumptime and -Luke- like this.

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