a short guy's Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by a short guy, Feb 28, 2013.

  1. resilientwolf

    resilientwolf Member

    Yeah I have TMJ on the right side of my face. I stopped chewing gum, I have to constantly remind myself to relax my jaw and not clench up over anything, I have to cut up my food, I looked up self massages I do that help and I also wear a retainer (the one I got when I got my braces off) and that also keeps my teeth from grinding together and hurting. The biggest thing that has made a difference from me is improving my posture and my forward neck.I guess I'm not really telling you anything you don't already know, but I know what it's like to deal with that too...
  2. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    70 days, Man!

    That's tops just great. :cool:
  3. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Seems to me like you're doing everything you can!

    I have had this problem but only mildly.

    Good best of luck, it sounds unpleasant.
  4. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Hope all is well, TG/SG. :)
  5. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Hey, Resilient Wolf, thanks very much for the encouragement!


    Had hypnotherapy together for my jaw tension issue, seems promising.

    Had sex with my wife a couple weeks ago, hadn't for so long I don't remember when we last did. It was nice for both of us. Now to make it more a normal and more often part of our relationship. It did instigate me to want to see some porn. I didn't, though did view bikinis some, my P-subs. But, no porn and that's what I'm successfully staying clear of.
    resilientwolf likes this.
  6. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    We'll see how the hypnotherapy does, basically suggestions to relax into sleep.
  7. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Thanks 40New30. All is well. Cheers!
  8. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    That sounds encouraging. I hope it works for ya.

    And that's GREAT news!

    Aaaah, the benefits of healing... :cool:

    Beware of the chaser from O, SG. And stay off the peek, my friend! It's great that you're not using P but subs will fire up those same neural networks and you know where that leads... o_O

    Peace to ya. Xx
  9. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Sounds like things are going well, SG. Now that you've had sex try and do it again in a week.
  10. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Look good, my friend! 3 months down.
  11. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    What's shaking, amigo?
  12. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Things are going well. Relationship going well, sex with my wife once a month, and in between kissing and intimacy, feeling lighter and happier in general. Finding my wife quite attractive and fun to be with. But, I did PMO a few times recently, while my wife was away, to nudity. Stayed up late, and one all nighter. I am resetting. I kind of lost interest in porn, yet did it anyway. Still not interested in it, but with my wife away the addict acted out, bikinis led to nudity. Sex acts aren't that interesting, but nudity is. If I would have delved longer into it I'm sure the Coolidge effect would have led me beyond nudity.

    So, I last PMO'd 6/13/17.
  13. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Good to hear that you are having fun with your wife and "feeling happier in general".

    I know first hand how that pattern goes... just an image or two,,, lingerie, bikini..... oops... there it goes. Hey, it is done... get back on your path. You have made miles and miles of progress.
  14. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I understand the slippery slope well, we all get close to the edge sometimes, and even start to go over the edge. You caught it super early, and that is a big victory! I have been extremely clean for a long time, and libido and attraction to my wife is sometimes really low (other times higher)...I'm riding it out because I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
  15. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    This is wonderful. These things are the super powers.
  16. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies fellas, yes, life is quite lighter and I am happier, basically I've had time to work on issues, the time I didn't have when I was wasting so much pmo-ing all the time. Cheers and peace.
  17. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Keep it up, buddy! You're one of the charter members here, and it always does me good to see guys that have been here for a few years checking in and doing well :)
    Newman8888 likes this.
  18. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    I'm a dentist who knows how to treat this sort of thing so I'll chime in here.

    TMJ issues are caused by an imbalance in your chewing system. Your joint, muscles and teeth all work together to create a chewing motion. In theory, when everything is working properly your joint will be fully seated in a stable position when your teeth all meet and your muscles are at rest. When there is an imbalance in your system the joint is not in a stable position when your teeth fully meet. Your brain then has to deal with this discrepancy by telling your muscles to fire in an attempt to address it, causing fatigue, pain, headaches, neck aches etc. Your dentist can fit you with an appliance that can help position your jaw in its proper orthopedic position to make the system happy and allow the muscles to rest. Some cases require extensive work to rebuild the bite to its proper position.

    Things like stress can definitely exacerbate the problem.
  19. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for this information. Generally it's better but not resolved. I have been putting off getting back to my dentist... because of finances, I will set up an appointment to see her. Always knew I should but kept putting it off.

    40new30, HeyRevolver, thank you for your thoughts, cheers!

    So, technically I have not watched porn for 229 days. I have however viewed nudity and masturbated to orgasm while viewing. And bikinis and nudity is my porn. Still I'm not resetting. There is a difference in me, in my actions and thoughts. I have no interest in viewing sexual acts of any kind anymore. I'm unable to see/view sexual acts as positive. There is an aware of an uncomfortable power/force/use-of-humans-as-objects thing that makes me feel very uncomfortable, almost sick. I know I could get beyond that feeling by giving in and indulging, the Coolidge effect is real, but I have no intention of going there... anymore.

    So I have viewed partial and full nudity and masturbated to orgasm while viewing. It's been infrequent. Once a month if that. I've done it at times of high family stress. I know it's my addictive/compulsive coping pattern. I do realize I am an addict and am actively participating in my addiction. My wife and I are going through a difficult time, our daughter and grandson are in the middle of a custody battle. My wife and I are feeling close, are being intimate if not sexual right now. We are loving each other, enjoying each other. Things are good with us.

    So, not resetting. I'm not a perfect example of a clean break. My not resetting is somewhat of a lie. But it feels better to not reset. I feel good about my progress. I'm feeling great in general, consistantly. Productive. Helpful to family. Out of my own self and available for others. Life is good. Much better than it has ever been.
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2017
  20. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Progress, just keep making progress...you have the addiction on the run! I MO'd a few times lately, but I didn't reset either, because, well because it just didn't feel like a relapse and there were no cravings for PMO afterwards, does that make sense?

    Life is good.
  21. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Happy to read of your progress ASG!...

    You set the parameters for your recovery... no one else.

    Peace and love
  22. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the replies, 40new30, HeyRevolver and fcj18. I do feel pretty darn good and proud of my progress, BUT...

    My daughter is at the very beginning of a possible huricane-like child custody battle with an absolutely crazy and mean ex. There is the possiblility in the near future that my computer could subpoenaed. It's just a possibility. This of course has me terrified. The situation is about to become a shit-hitting-the-fan legal battle. In a couple months, they will be living with us. The court may look into me and my wife's character.

    So, after reading up on it, I know there's really nothing I can do to make my hard drive or ram completely and assuredly 100% safe from forensics short of getting a new computer or hard drive. This would mean starting from scratch, destroying the old hd and ram with a hammer and not saving any data. I've had this computer since 2009, before that I transferred files from my previous computer I got in 2005. That's 12 years of you know what. I would do this without hesitation, but this is my wife's computer as well, so she would lose everything too. I brought this up to her yesterday. She knows of my addiction. She didn't know I was still using and have viewed porn more recently than 5 years ago (that's when I joined this forum and started my reboot, I've relapsed more than once since then). She didn't leave me. She feels a bit sick. I feel sick. She didn't think I should worry about it. She thinks it's my own paranoia (which of course is very high right now). Just the thought of it brings up self-abusive and suicidal thoughts.... not going there, but I'm scared. I am worried. Very worried.

    This is only a possibility, I don't really know how possible.

    So, any thoughts on this anyone?
  23. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    So, regarding what forensics can find, if I get a new HD and RAM or a new computer, can I connect my old computer's external backup to it, not transfer any data but just read it, without out any information getting unintentionally transferred to the new computer.

    I want to be proactive with this before the anything does or does not happen.

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