I used to update a journal on here. A lot. Now, I've come back after a multi-year hiatus, with a new account and a new name. That's all I'll say, since I'm trying to maintain some distance from my former account, and the baggage that comes with it. Reading back on myself from nearly a decade ago is crazy- partially for how much I've changed, but also partially for how much I am still, at my core, well...me. I see that core kernel of me in there in my 14-year-old self. I'm still me. So...yeah I mean so much is different now. I went through college, have a girlfriend, and all this stuff...feeling a bit tired to get into it now. But I guess I kind of look at my time on YBR all those years ago, and I see it as one of the few times in my life where I was actually making progress on myself. Porn was just part of the whole thing. But yeah I mean...porn addiction is real man. And only once I got a girlfriend did I find out how much I wired my sexuality during puberty to screens. Lol. I think journaling is a really good frame, especially when there's a (perceived) audience to write to. I know there's not nearly the membership on this site that there used to be, but...in the end it's just for me to shout my thoughts into the void somewhere, and this forum happens to be a convienient place. I'm tired, maybe I'll come back and edit this later / write more. But it's a start, and starting is all I can do for myself.
Thanks! I'm glad to see that at least someone else is here. Let's see, today kinda meh. Didn't interact in-person with another soul. I feel this malaise and sense of dread. I feel like my life has taken a turn for the worse, as of late. I need to figure out how to have a healthy release, sexually, other than porn. My girlfriend is long-distance. Maybe I should try and initiate phone sex more...but I feel it just wouldn't be enough. My libido is pretty high, feel like I need to get off every day / nearly every day.
