A question about masturbation without porn/fantasy

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by ABrandNewLife, Nov 16, 2021.

  1. ABrandNewLife

    ABrandNewLife New Member

    Hi everyone. I’ve struggled with PMO for a long time and I think the key to me not relapsing yet again is to find out how to enjoy masturbation to physical sensation alone.

    What I find is that my brain is so used to unrealistic porn-type scenarios that I feel almost completely numb down there if I only concentrate on the physical sensations. After a few minutes I really need to try hard to not go flaccid. I remember the late great Gary Wilson saying that masturbating to orgasm using feeling alone shouldn’t be a problem to a non porn addicted man. I can sometimes orgasm like this but only when I haven’t done so for many weeks. The only other way I can do it to feeling alone is by slightly cheating and letting one of the old porn scenarios enter my head for a few moments.

    Any advice on this would be hugely appreciated.
     
  2. DoneAtLast

    DoneAtLast Well-Known Member

    In my experience on these boards I see some people that can do a "no fantasy" masturbation, but they are rare. The odds are against you, but it isn't impossible. For many, once you've linked porn and masturbation so hard in your behavior, that neural link is just too strong. Plus, it is so close to a relapse... it can be a bit like an alcoholic trying to sit at a bar and drink club soda.

    My own best guess is that if you want to try it, it would be best revisiting after a period of "hard mode" (swearing off everything, even things even remotely triggering) to sort of clear the RAM rather than trying to immediately come out of an addiction to a sensation-only routine.
     
  3. Hi, ABrandNewLife,

    What you're describing is certainly possible as I've been living that way for a few years now. I don't think it will be for everyone, but for people who are able to masturbate with physical sensation alone I think it's a great way to reconnect with yourself and feel more free and empowered than before. It can help people decouple our sexual energy from external factors e.g. porn or fantasising about someone you will never have a sexual connection to. I imagine some type of body-centered meditative practice would be helpful for you, as this would help you develop a stronger connection to your own body so you can remain focused on the physical sensation alone.
     
  4. Mark T

    Mark T New Member

    With all due respect to some of the suggestions by the researchers and others, I’m going to tell you now. Masturbation is NOT a natural thing for man and any form of it will ruin your progress (TRUST ME). I am 9 months in my road to recovery and I swear to you - touching yourself will not help. You need to go cold turkey on PMO for two reasons - dopamine/mental rewiring back to normal levels and to physically allow your Penis to redevelop it’s natural sensations.
    Trust me your going to have urges to test your dick. But don’t test it yourself - let your wife or GF touch you there. If it don’t work, continue giving yourself time. Get away from looking at women in unrealistic ways and get away from thinking that you need to have morning wood every day to feel your fixed. Keep yourself busy and pick up
    Some good eating habits and exercise. Also do some fasting. And be patient. And DO NOT MASTERBATE. Penis belongs in a Vagina to cum, or at the hands of how your woman wants to make you dim! not in your hands!
     
    DoneAtLast likes this.

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