A New Perspective

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Shady, May 18, 2020.

  1. runningforfreedom

    runningforfreedom New Member

    Congrats on the two months @Shady !

    I've been there before. In my case I think it was something different, but hopefully in yours it is just a flatline that will quickly pass.

    Good luck, and keep pushing!
  2. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Thanks, @runningforfreedom

    So what was it in your case?

    So I have to say meditation and hypnosis are doing wonders.
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2020
    runningforfreedom likes this.
  3. runningforfreedom

    runningforfreedom New Member

    @Shady In my case, it was a case of porn-induced depression. I was recently in a really bad place with PMO, and I completely lost interest in everything that was important to me. My career, running, reading, my ambition of starting a family, none of that mattered to me. The only thing that mattered was my addiction. It was sheer hell.

    I am starting to pull myself out of that pit, but it is a tough one.

    I'm glad that meditation and hypnosis are doing wonders! I am just starting to meditate and practice mindfulness, and am finding these practices healing.
  4. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    I began to focus only on what matters and dropped any concerns for the little things in my life. Now I feel a little better. Hope I'm on the right track.

    @runningforfreedom hope it all clears up when you're PMO free.
  5. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    How does that work? What are you doing?
  6. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    There are videos on YouTube that walk you through these.
    Mindfulness videos teach you to think of now and control your thoughts. They help you control your thoughts and not let them suck you away from the now.

    Hypnosis videos take you to the point where you are receptive to suggestions. Then they suggest some change in behavior like be free of a certain addiction or pull you out of depression or be free of anxiety and anything you can think of.
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  7. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Congratulations on being 2 months off P Shady. That's incredible. I know very well how that doesn't sort everything and how many things remain to be fixed. Sometimes it's actually much harder without the drug then with it. But in the long run it's probably much better without it. Especially if we're looking to really grow, heal.

    I've used YT hypnosis videos before and they have helped me (if you find the right ones). They have helped me sometimes when I felt extremely low.
    Shady likes this.
  8. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    @Thelongwayhome27 thanks
    Yes grow and heal... One day...

    Which ones do you prefer?

    Extremely low. That's me.
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  9. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    Sorry your feeling low. That's cool that you're finding hypnosis so helpful, though. Maybe there's a hypnosis video that can pick you up :D
  10. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    One I like in particular is this guy called Michael Sealey. He has a YT channel with a lot of hypnosis videos and it's all free.

    One in particular that I have listened to a few times is this one :

    But I also listen to some healing self love ones where the hypnosis is a female voice. I can send it to you if you want to try it.

    I hope you're doing all right !
  11. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Thanks @Apeman

    @Thelongwayhome27 that's the same video I like to see/hear.
    Female voice? Do send me the link please.

    My latest update:
    I saw a triggering scene today and I'm also feeling emotionally drained so I'm not really in a good place right now. This is how relapse happens. I'm hanging in there.
    Wish me luck.
  12. Bilbo Baggins

    Bilbo Baggins Well-Known Member

    Hold on, Shady. Go out, call someone, play a game, whatever. Just hold on. Read some of those good old success stories, that never hurts.
  13. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    Hey Shady,
    I'm right there with you; I'm weathering the inner storm after tripping over a trigger. Remind yourself why you started this journey in the first place. Remind yourself of how terrible you feel when you do relapse.
    Now then think of the sheer triumph you'll feel when you wake up tomorrow having survived. Having not relapsed even in the face of triggers that used to sink you.

    Hold on, man! We can do this!
  14. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    @Bilbo Baggins thanks. These are all good ideas.

    @Apeman inner storm... That's an expression that sums it all up.
    It does feel great because I have survived last night.
    Good luck on your journey and yes we can do this.
    As I always like to say, we're all in this together.

    What's new:
    Feeling a little bit better today.
    Insecurities and paranoid thoughts are still there and strong but they feel far away right now.

    I might feel bad and I'm not really keen on socializing right now, but I have made some progress in self discovery since I quit PMO. So many things have become clear to me. Things that were right in my face but I never noticed them. PMO really blurs your sight and makes things unclear to you.

    I'm still working on concentration and brain fog issues, but I'm sure they'll get fixed in time.
    TrueSelf likes this.
  15. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    That triggering scene I saw a week ago has been haunting me ever since. I've been struggling to push it away and not think about it. It came back whenever I wasn't busy.

    It feels like a distant memory.

    The last two weeks have been so stressful.
    Work has been hell. Had troubles in the family and I've been sick.

    Can anyone really handle all of this
    I'm getting really old for this shit.

    I've been trying to find something to replace PMO as a stress release and something to cheer me up but I haven't been successful. Still searching.
    I'm keeping busy till I find it.

    I'm ready now to meet a real girl and have a real connection.
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  16. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Back when I watched P every day and even more than once each day, there was this video that I liked to watch almost every time I opened that private browser window.
    Last night I had a dream of myself watching that video. Suddenly I woke up as if I saw a nightmare. Noticed I had a boner. I had to fight the thoughts all day. I managed to get through it, but the whole situation really hurt me. I thought I was over it all. My desire to go watch it and MO was unbearable. I'm glad I got through it without giving it to watching it and Mo but I'm upset because I thought I was in control of my urges, but I can't control my dreams.
    I'm still on track, but I really miss it all.
    I'm not going to kill my progress. The last two months have been like hell, but my personality is much better now so I'm not letting it all go.

    I can't wait till I'm over it all. I can't take that heartache anymore.

    I can't see the light at end of the tunnel, but I know I'll see it soon.

    What have I done to myself. I did this to myself. That mistake that has been going on for 20 years.
    We all get what we deserve.
    How long do I have to make up for it.

    -Luke- and TrueSelf like this.
  17. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Found out it's all easy to control if you just believe.
    Thinking about what's wrong is really wrong.
    Today I tried focusing on the positive and I felt great today.
    I also immersed myself in my work which helped me pass the time.
    I'm glad the dreams and urges are gone. Hope they stay away because I want to get over that addiction.
    BoughtWithBlood and TrueSelf like this.
  18. moose

    moose Member

    What's the self love healing link? Can you send that plz?
  19. moose

    moose Member

    Believe in the process, but also in yourself.
    Shady likes this.
  20. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Those yo-yo depressive cycles are really putting a strain on me.
    It's giving me actual pain. My heart is aching all the time.

    Oh the comfort of PMO...
    It's been so long. I even forgot the feeling.

    Problem with high mood is that it raises you up into the sky then suddenly you find yourself falling from that high elevation.

    Can I stay away from all people?
    -Luke- likes this.

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